Home Prev News Next Home

5MV Update History

maintained by Zeke



November 1

Crap. There will be a brief intermission before the election coverage. I suppose it's not unreasonable to have it on the actual day of the election, but this pushes the TOS S2 DVD event back a day. Ah well; if it bothers IJD, he can always just kill me.


November 2

It's here! It's huge! Welcome to 5MV's Election 2004 Top 10 Lists event! With this event, our Top 10 subsite reaches and surpasses -- way surpasses -- the 50 mark.

The origin of this event is one of my first T10 lists, The Top 10 Election 2000 Votes From the Voyager Crew. I didn't know much at all about politics back then, so I just came up with reasons that sounded funny. This had some unexpected side effects (Jim Wright nearly had a seizure when he saw that his beloved Janeway's vote was for Gore), but I think the lack of canvassing for either side helped the list's popularity, and it remains one of my favourites. So, now that another election is upon us, I decided to follow up that list with some Election 2004 character votes -- but this time doing multiple lists to cover the many series that have been added to 5MV in the last four years (i.e. everything but VOY). So I called up my homies, and this was the result.

Here are the thirteen Top 10 lists that make up this event:

  • First off, the true sequel, Election 2004 Votes From Voyager by me. Whose party affiliations have changed? Whose have not? Will Harry die? Will Jim have another seizure? You'll have to click to find out.
  • Next up, the #50 milestone: Election 2004 Votes From Enterprise, again by me.
  • Our three other Trek subsites are up next, with Votes From TOS by IJD, Votes From TNG by Marc, and Votes From DS9 by Derek.
  • On to a tour of the non-Trek series covered at 5MV. First at bat is Votes From Andromeda by Tarn-Vedra, a name new at the site but familiar at the forums. Vedra's also written a full Andromeda fiver which you'll be seeing before long.
  • Next is Votes From Babylon 5 by our B5 specialist, Sa'ar Chasm.
  • We have two Doctor Who specialists, SCMoll and Scooter, so they collaborated on Votes From Doctor Who.
  • Next, another prominent forumgoer and author of two fivers, PointyHairedJedi, contributes Votes From Firefly.
  • Votes From Lord of the Rings comes your way courtesy of Kira, Site Manager and Two Towers master (mistress?). Kira was also a great help behind the scenes for this event.
  • Finally, three more lists by me round the event out. The first is Votes From Farscape. The second, and undoubtedly the least accessible on this list, is Votes From VVS8/9 -- that's right, 5MV still covers the Virtual Voyager seasons, and I haven't forgotten the part they play here. And finally, I had a few individual entries I didn't want to miss out on, but couldn't get whole lists out of either, so I bundled them into a miscellaneous list, Votes From Other Characters.
But wait, there's more! This event features 5MV's very first Easter egg. Those of you who are into DVDs, videogames, or Homestar Runner will know what that means -- essentially, an Easter egg is a hidden bonus that the reader/user/viewer has to search for. In a videogame, you might have to walk through a wall that looks solid, or use an item in an unusual place. Online Easter eggs are easier -- you pretty much always find them by clicking on something that's not obviously clickable.

The Easter egg for this election event (say that five times fast) shouldn't be too hard to find. It's easy if you're thinking the right way. All I'll tell you is that the hidden "entrance" is on one of those Top 10 list pages. If you try for a while and still can't find it, email me for the answer -- or just watch the comment thread, because someone is bound to post the location once it's found.

Tomorrow, when the results of the election are (hopefully) in, I'll post some election wrapup here, including some interesting links. On the off chance that no one finds the Easter egg, I'll also post a hint. Meanwhile, there's one more item for tonight's looooong update: IJD's hit a small snag with his plan for a fiver to celebrate the release of TOS S2 on DVD, and it won't be ready for a while yet (should be up in at most a week). To tide you over, here's a preview scene:

Spock: Jim, why did you have to fall asleep in the middle of the mission drawing?
Kirk: I was tired! I had a.... busy night.
Spock: (sigh) We could've been sent to figure out the mystery of the pyramids! Or the strange disappearance of the Roanoke colony!
Kirk: I'm sorry! All right?
Spock: Geez, we didn't even get picked for "Who was buried in Grant's Tomb?"!
Kirk: Look, can we just focus on the mission at hand?
Scotty: We're mysteriously intercepting a transporter signal.
Kirk: There! Is that mysterious enough for you?
(A mysterious man with a mysterious cat materializes on the platform)
Mysterious Cat: Yo.
Spock: Fine, fine....

See you tomorrow, and good hunting!



November 3

Okay, election event wrapup. First of all, we all now know who won the real election. Does this result agree with our various series' preferences? Let's see....

Voting Totals From Lists #49 - 61
Bush: 51
Kerry: 45
Nader: 10
Green Party: 2
Others: 30
Aragorn: Still not King

So it seems Bush would have won here too, which is interesting because most of the list-writers were for Kerry. On the other hand, an informal poll going on at the forums currently stands at Bush 12, Kerry 20, others 5. (For a total of 37 votes... geez, polls at way lamer forums get thousands of votes. Maybe I should start advertising or something.)

Oh, speaking of traffic, it's been awesome this week: we had over 600 hits on Monday and nearly as many yesterday. Keep it up!

Back to the election event. So far several people have found the Easter egg... if you want to know a couple of cheap ways to find it, visit yesterday's comment thread. For those who are man enough to search the traditional way, I'll narrow it down a bit for you: the egg isn't in any of the Trek lists. And the egg isn't the only part of yesterday's update you may not have seen. For those who haven't noticed, a while ago I started doing unique disclaimers for the Top 10 lists, like I do for TJI -- so check those out if you didn't before.

As promised, here are a few election-related links....

  • Those of you who are disappointed about Bush's victory may be tempted to get angry at those in the "red states," particularly the South. Well, Lea Frost of 5MS just linked to a fascinating picture in her LJ. This is how red and blue the states really are -- hopefully you'll find it reassuring.
  • Second link for disappointed Democrats: LiveJournal is not where I go when I look for intelligent political commentary. However, occasionally I'm proven wrong. Jennifer-Oksana, someone I've mentioned here before as an Angel commentator, made this post-election post which -- unlike almost all others I've seen -- isn't "Oh God Bush won what will we do WAAAAAAAA I'm shooting myself". It's "Okay, we lost -- so here's what we do now." Jenny-O may help you get a little optimism back, and as any Denobulan can tell you, optimism is charming.
  • This one's more for conservatives: The Corner is National Review Online's very active group blog. Their writers post about what's up in politics, and naturally this week there's more up than usual. You're sure to find some interesting stuff here. Watch out in particular for Jonah Goldberg, a very smart conservative commentator whose column, The G-File, I read religiously.
  • Finally, a couple of purely humourous links. SomethingAwful posted this back in the Cheney/Edwards debates, and it's hilarious. And while this link is DEFINITELY not work-safe, Votergasm is the funniest election site I've seen yet... not to mention a really intriguing concept. You may be sorry you missed out.

Acknowledgements time. First off, thanks to all the list writers -- you guys rocked the house, from experienced staffers to untrained greenhorns. Thanks also to Xeroc for showing me the CSS code for hiding the Easter egg, saving me the trouble of looking it up. Thank you to whatever floating muse, or maybe vampiric alien, gave me the idea for this event just in time. Thank you to America for having a way more interesting election than the ones we have up North. And not so much a thank you as a thumbs-up to all our American readers who voted yesterday. You did your duty -- and earned the right to complain about the government as much as you want for the next four years.

Till next event, I'm Zeke, and I approve this message.



November 5

Hey all. Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was doing math and fighting zombies. (The zombies were angry because I'm better at doing math than they are.)

Anyway, two relevant facts: one, my Enterprise tapes are in the mail (you rock, persianmouse!), and they'll be here sometime next week. That makes this weekend the perfect time to finish Season 3. Two, as the Easter egg hinted, it's going to be updated -- so if you haven't found it, keep looking, and if you have, reload now and again. You just might see a change.

Since this has been a big week for 5MV, let's make this a big weekend for 5MV chat! For those who don't know, we chat on a server provided by the excellent Xeroc, irc.xeroc.hopto.org. (The channel is #5mv, naturally.) If you've never been, why not start this weekend?


November 9

Sigh... sorry about the missed updates. I'll try to have a good one tomorrow to make up for it.


November 10

Remember that mini-event IJD was working on for the TOS Season 2 DVD release? It's here -- and it's not leaving till it's kicked your butt down to the corner store. To celebrate the arrival of S2, IJD has fived two episodes from that season, both memorable. The politics-heavy "The Omega Glory" taught viewers an important lesson: not everything Gene Roddenberry writes is glorious. (This rule is now called the Omega Directive.) And who can forget the season finale, "Assignment: Earth"? It launched a highly successful series, after all. Read and enjoy IJD's fivers, and then go buy the DVDs!



November 11

I'm going to take some advice I got at the forums and make a more respectful Remembrance Day update this year. So here's my favourite poem on the subject, one I've loved since I first read it: George Johnston's "War On the Periphery."

Around the battlements go by
Soldier men against the sky,
Violent lovers, husbands, sons,
Guarding my peaceful life with guns.

My pleasures, how discreet they are!
A little booze, a little car,
Two little children and a wife
Living a small suburban life.

My little children eat my heart;
At seven o'clock we kiss and part,
At seven o'clock we meet again;
They eat my heart and grow to men.

I watch their tenderness with fear
While on the battlements I hear
The violent, obedient ones
Guarding my family with guns.

One final thought. One of the cleverest jokes on The Simpsons is that that Springfield has two veterans' halls, one for Veterans of Popular Wars and one for Veterans of Unpopular Wars. When a war is being fought, we don't know which hall its veterans will be frequenting thirty years from now... and it may have nothing to do with whether the war is popular at the time. Worth thinking about.


November 13

Arggh, missed another one. And I said I was going to reveal the location of the Easter egg, didn't I? I'd better do that.

Tomorrow. Today I'm going to check in on my sparsely-updating friend Pokey the Penguin. I wonder what he's been --

(GASP) Pokey, you bastard!


November 15

Odd-numbered days seem to be my thing lately. It's about time for me to get even.

Stop throwing stuff, that kind of line is exactly what you come to the site for. And have a link.


November 16

The filler continues with another link day. You think you know how to fold a shirt, don't you? Well, you don't know how to fold a shirt. This -- THIS is how to fold a shirt. Any questions?

No, I don't know what she's saying. Go ask someone who speaks Japanese and has nothing better to do. Try your local animé club. Just pick a random member and threaten to make him watch the Funimation version of DBZ. Otaku will do anything to avoid watching dubbed animé. Like this one time I was at a friend's house and accidentally changed the channel to the English version of Sailor Moon, and he leapt across the room, yanked the remote control out of my hand, and committed seppuku with it. I'll say this for Sailor Moon, though: once you've got the theme song in your head, you're not getting it out any time soon. Too bad it's so inaccurate. "Never running from a real fight" my asteroid. Did the theme-writers watch the show? I bet they're the same guys who....

....Okay, this is going kind of off-topic. The point is, if you use the last of the Brita water, refill it before you put it back in the fridge. I think we can all agree that this, not military intervention, is the best way to fight software piracy.


November 17

Here's a link Alexia submitted: Reverse. The instructions suck, so I'll explain how it works. You're a square trying to get to the spot marked "goal." You move the square with the mouse (not the keyboard, which is how you'd think you would "move the cursor"). The trick is that when you move the mouse, the square moves in the opposite direction. There are walls and sometimes moving objects in the way, and if you touch anything, you die. Alexia's at least up to Level 13; see if you can beat her. Or don't. It's not like I've got a gun to your head.

Because those first appeared in a later series. What I'm holding to your head is a "gun pistol."

In other news, two webcomics have recently had their sixth birthdays. Penny Arcade turned six yesterday, and GPF on the 2nd. If you also recently turned six, send me your name and I'll announce it here. (Must be 18 years or older to participate.)


November 19

If there's a greater joy in this world than getting a package of Hallowe'en snacks from your grandparents in the mail, I don't know what it is. Oh, wait, I do. It's getting a package of Hallowe'en snacks and pie from them. Mmmmmmm....


Um, sorry. I blew a filling and it's hurting like crazy. I think I'd better go see the dentist. Back tomorrow, hopefully with less UNGODLY PAIN....


November 20

And the moral of this story is... falling behind on your updates leads to root canals. Ow.

Okay, time to reveal the location of the Easter egg! The link is on Vedra's list, item 2. If you need more help than that, go ask John Kerry. He's got nothing better to do n--

Zeke's Better Judgment: That was about the cheapest shot you've ever taken.

I can take cheaper. Know who sucks? I'll tell you who s--

Zeke's Better Judgment: Stop talking. Just stop. Well, finish the update, then stop.

Fine. (ahem) The Easter egg will be updated at least once today, so check it again later. Okay, that's all. I'm gonna go someplace and make more cheap shots.


November 22


These aren't the droids you're looking for.

They're over thattaway. (points)

Zeke's Better Judgment: They're not falling for it.

Where were you two seconds ago when I needed to judge a better excuse?


November 23

Okay, let's get back on topic a bit. There's been a very exciting development in the world of Enterprise, and I'm pleased to be the one to give you the news. Ladies and gentlemen: we have met Robert Beltran, and he is Jolene Blalock.

Let me explain something, Jolene, with the disclaimer that I love your acting work. Without Berman and Braga, absolutely nobody would listen when you talk. You owe them your job and your fame. They created your character, they made her interesting, and they gave her the second biggest role on the show, which is why you've had the chance to show us your skills. And here you are calling them bad writers for "forgetting" T'Pol doesn't eat with her hands (which couldn't possibly have been a subtle indication that she was growing more human), and ignoring the overwhelming majority of interesting material they've written for T'Pol.

To borrow from You Are Dumb, it's ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

Blalock on Berman: "You have this head guy who's some kind of ancient old croaker with no concept of the real world outside, with his fine wine and his, er, crumpets." Anyone who's read even one article on or interview with Berman knows what a joke this description is. To hear it from someone who WORKS for him is unbelievable.

Blalock on the Xindi arc: "T'Pol's hair doesn't move -- even in battle! And if it does, we re-shoot it." Uh huh. Jolene, have you ever watched TV? Ever? That's how it's done. "We don't bleed here, and nobody dies. Give me a break!" I suppose not watching TV includes not watching Season 3, where, you know, people bled and died.

Finally, like so very, very many bashers, Blalock praises Manny Coto for saving the show, destroying B&B, dying for our sins, whatever you please. Coto's work is based entirely on the foundation B&B established in the last three seasons, but of course that's irrelevant, as is the fact that his stories this season are continuing in the same line. Season 4 is about exactly the same thing Seasons 1 and 2 were about: revisiting Trek concepts from previous series with new twists. Coto isn't the Joker to B&B's Batman -- he's Robin. And the reason he's writing good stories this season is that he learned from the best.

Hooo boy, that came out longer than I thought. Sorry; I just can't stand ingratitude, and B&B-bashing is a particular hot button for me. It's dishonest and hypocritical almost every time, and it makes it difficult for me to read the comments of people whose work I otherwise enjoy. (Why yes, evay, I do know you read these updates.... ;))


More update notes:

Site navigation:
___ News
___ ___ Update History: November 2004

Five-Minute Voyager and subsites are © Colin Hayman.