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Kira presents....

The Top 10 Election 2004 Votes From Lord of the Rings Characters

  1. Boromir: Bush. (He supports the seizure of powerful weapons.)
  2. Merry: Kerry. (Hey! That rhymes!)
  3. Pippin: Bush. (He can sympathize with being called stupid.)
  4. Gimli: Kerry. (The other two remind him too much of foliage.)
  5. Legolas: Nader. (The trees told him to.)
  6. Aragorn: Ballot invalidated. (What do you mean, he can't declare himself King?)
  7. Sam: Nader. (He feels for him getting overshadowed by his compan-- er, opponents.)
  8. Frodo: Kerry. (He thinks Bush will try to take the Ring.)
  9. Gandalf: Bush. (He's always in favor of a second term.)
And the number one vote from a Lord of the Rings character....
  1. Sauron: Kerry. (He doesn't like the sound of Bush's "destroy the Axis of Evil" policy.)
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This list was originally published on November 2, 2004.

DISCLAIMER: Rumour has it that the Dwarf-Lords got seven votes and the Elven-Kings only got three. Gerrymandering!

All material © 2004, Carolyn Paterson.