Scientist: Hey boss! It's a big giant head!
Dr. Willard: William Shatner? Where?
Scientist: No, like an Easter Island head.
Dr. Willard: And this is important why?
Scientist: Well, this is Antarctica....
Dr. Willard: Point.
Lara: Woohoo, India! Infada stone, here I come!
Tony: AGGHH! Infada stone? That's lame, you'd need like 4 of those to make a good plot. (snicker) ....So, who are you?
Lara: I'm buxom, brunette, and backing away from you.
Tony: Better watch out...there are some crazy people around heAAAGGHH!
Lara: I'll remember that.
Shiva Statue: Hi, I'm sacrilegious. Questions?
Lara: Yeah: do I have to shoot you? It might seem offensive to those of the Hindu faith.
Shiva: Don't worry, you'll offend plenty of Christians in the bonus level. We're equal-opportunity here.
Lara: Gotcha. Pow! Pow!...
Lara: You again? I thought you were scared of this place.
Tony: Eeeeyah! (collapses temple with his powers)
Lara: Dang, now would be a good time for the complementary vehicle chase.
Tony: At last, we meet again for the first time for the last time....
Lara: Again? This is condensed, we've met practically once a scene.
Lara: Geez, stop doing that, dude. Pow!
Lara: Gee, you had the Infada stone all along? Whodathunkit?
Dr. Willard: Hello Lara, I'm your new friend.
Lara: I'll keep that in mind until the second you sprout wings and attack me.
Dr. Willard: Note to self; transform into something without wings.
Dr. Willard: Nothing. Say, that wouldn't happen to be the Infada stone, would it?
Lara: Of course not, why?
Dr. Willard: Well, if it were, you'd have to watch out for spontaneous backstory.
Stephen: Woo, I can't die, I'm sailing with Charles Darwin!
Fellow Explorer: Psst -- Darwin never sailed to Antarctica, this is fictional. Anything goes.
Stephen: Crap. So what are we supposed to do?
Explorer: Find artifacts sculpted from a meteorite, spread them across the world, get killed by natives... the usual.
Dr. Willard: So you see, the valiant explorers sacrificed their lives to give you this plot here today.
Lara: Because otherwise I'd only be exploring Antarctica, and God knows Eidos would never make a game where I exclusively explored one region.
Dr. Willard: Er... right, so any questions?
Lara: One: you wouldn't happen to know a good travel agent, would you?