Dr. Light: Have you heard, Mega Man? There's a big robot design contest going on.
Mega Man: Yeah, I heard. It's being run by the mysterious Mr. X.
Dr. Light: Funny name. Hey, you know who else has a funny name? Dr. Wily.
Mega Man: Quelle coincidence!
Mr. X: Bwahahahaha! I have seized control of all these robots and shall soon conquer the Earth!
Mega Man: Not if I stop you! Oh, wait -- you're going to seize control of me too, aren't you?
Mr. X: Nah. I'll spare you...for now.
Mega Man: Oh, I get it. You're trying to sound all ominous and stuff, but you actually can't seize control of me.
Mr. X: I warn you, don't make light of--
Mega Man: Here, try seizing control of Eddie. See how small he is? Come on....
Mr. X: Well, I....see, I....shut up!
Mega Man: Any upgrades this time?
Dr. Light: You better believe it. You can now fuse with Rush to gain incredible strength or the power of flight.
Mega Man: SWEET! Finally, an upgrade with no downside!
Dr. Light: Well, none for you, but don't talk to Rush for a while. He's pretty mad about losing his autonomy.
Mega Man: Oh, so that's where the bite marks on your leg came from.
(ZAP)
Mega Man: Oh, for heaven's sake. What are you doing in a group of the world's strongest robots?
Plant Man: Yeah, I know I look like a sissy. But it's all part of my undercover operation for the CIA.
Mega Man: So you're saying you're....
Plant Man: That's right: a plant.
Mega Man: Great, now I have to kill you. I can't let that line go unpunished.
Mega Man: Ripoff.
Wind Man: Shut up! I'm very different from Air Man!
Mega Man: Name one difference.
Wind Man: I'm called Wind Man and he's called Air Man.
Mega Man: Besides that.
Wind Man: I have the Wind Storm and he--
Mega Man: Look, I want a difference that matters.
Wind Man: No. That information is, uh, classified or something.
Mega Man: I wonder what to use on -- wait, there's a fire extinguisher on the wall.
Flame Man: I'm nothing if not safety-conscious.
Blizzard Man: I know I look silly on these skis, but I'm surprisingly tough to beat. Really.
Mega Man: Even with the Flame Blast?
Blizzard Man: No, I can't take much flaming. I'm very thin-skinned.
Mega Man: Proto Man?
Proto Man: Hey, bro! I've got a gizmo for you.
Mega Man: Can I kill things with it?
Proto Man: You can't kill things, period. Only living beings can be killed.
Mega Man: Can I kill living beings with it?
Proto Man: I don't think there are any in these games.
Mega Man: You're stalling. Let me guess -- the gizmo is completely non-violent, right?
Proto Man: Just trying to soften the blow a little.
Mega Man: You're an insult to native Americans everywhere.
Tomahawk Man: I don't care how many stereotypes I embody -- you'll never defeat my Silver Tomahawk.
Mega Man: And if I do?
Tomahawk Man: Then I'll glare at you menacingly and hope you go away.
Mega Man: That's the Yamato Spear, eh?
Yamato Man: Yep. I'm full of fighting spear-it.
Mega Man: Ouch! If I'm not careful, you'll kill me with puns alone.
Yamato Man: Spear me your complaints. You have nothing to fear but spear itself.
Mega Man: Okay, pal -- ever watched the TNG episode "Contagion"?
Yamato Man: The one where the U.S.S. Yamato blows up? Yeah.
Mega Man: You're about to live it.
Mega Man: I've already beaten a ninja and a samurai, so you should be cake.
Knight Man: I'm cake all right. Cake of DOOM!
Mega Man: Who would buy cake of doom?
Knight Man: You'd be surprised -- it's selling like doomcakes.
Centaur Man: You're going to kill me with that Knight Chain, I suppose.
Mega Man: Yeah. And then I'll get your weapon.
Centaur Man: Then the joke's on you! Hahahahahaha!
Mega Man: How so?
Centaur Man: Centaur Flash is utterly, completely useless! It's one of those "freeze the screen" weapons.
Mega Man: Nuts. Maybe I can at least take some photos with it....
Mr. X: It's fun to say X. You should try it.
Mega Man: You're going down, X-boy! The X-police will send some X-men to take X-you away -- you'll spend the next X years in an X-Box! Hey, you're right.
Voice: This X-rated discussion stops now!
Mega Man and Mr. X: Who--?
X: I'm X. I've come to expose this impostor. Hang on while I blast away the disguise....
Dr. Wily: Oh, fiddlesticks.
Mega Man: It's Wily! So that's why this whole setup was exactly his style in every detail! Funny I didn't suspect something earlier.
X: Well, my work here is done. I'm off to the year 21XX to battle Greek letters.
Cops: You're one wily coyote, Wily, but this time you're finally going in the slammer.
Mega Man: Aw, he's not that wily. After all, he didn't rig up a backup plan in the event of his capture, as far as we know.
Dr. Wily: Nope, nothing like that. Feel free to indulge in an apparently-not-false sense of security.
Mega Man: I will, thanks.
TO BE CONTINUED....
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