Mega Man: Look, I'm telling you, there will be eight.
Dr. Light: Mega Man, be reasonable. Three points of data are not enough to draw conclusions.
Mega Man: I'll prove it. Hey Eddie, what's the news like today?
Eddie: Terrible! Proto Man has gone rogue and created Robot Masters to destroy us all!
Mega Man: How many?
Eddie: Eight.
Mega Man: Thank you! In your face, Light-boy!
Dr. Light: There will be pain later.
Mega Man: What upgrades do I get this time?
Dr. Light: Well, I've eliminated Rush's Marine transformation, and I've made it so he jumps with you in Coil mode.
Mega Man: But....
Dr. Light: I've also adjusted your Mega Buster so that you lose your charged-up energy when you get hit.
Mega Man: Dr. Light, these are downgrades! Why? Why are you weakening me?
Dr. Light: You have to understand my situation, Mega Man. It's so hard for a father to watch his sons fight....
(ZAP)
Star Man: Tremble before the awesome power of Star Man!
Mega Man: What is the awesome power of Star Man?
Star Man: Well, I call it the Star Crash.
Mega Man: Sounds nasty.
Star Man: Don't worry, it isn't.
Mega Man: If you make even ONE joke about the gravity of this situation, I'll crush you without mercy.
Gravity Man: That's a grave threat.
Mega Man: Close enough.
Gyro Man: Here it comes -- the testosterone-loaded, action-packed, no-holds-barred slugfest between Gyro Man and Mega Man! Let's get ready to rumble!
Mega Man: Does "no holds barred" include the Gravity Hold?
Gyro Man: Yeah. Uh oh.
Mega Man: "Crystal Man"? No offense, but that sounds fruity.
Crystal Man: Oh, be nice.
Mega Man: Okay, if by "be nice" you mean "kill me with the Gyro Attack."
Crystal Man: I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant, but whatever floats your boat.
Mega Man: I love the smell of--
Napalm Man: DON'T SAY IT!
Mega Man: Ow! Power Stone hurts! This calls for retaliation -- Napalm Bomb style.
Stone Man: Mmmmm! I love that smell! What is it?
Mega Man: Okay, now I really have to kill you.
Mega Man: Oh, come on. Does Dr. Wily really think The Little Engine That Could will defeat me?
Charge Man: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....
Mega Man: Ouch! I walked right into that one.
Mega Man: Bubble Man, Dive Man, Wave Man...why doesn't Wily just call you all Water Man and forget about it?
Wave Man: He considers it a point of honour never to give two Robot Masters the same name.
Mega Man: Fair enough. Does he also consider it a point of honour to give you each an easily-exploited weakness?
Wave Man: No, that's more in the idiocy category.
Dark Man: Welcome to Proto Man's castle. I'm several of his fortress bosses.
Mega Man: You don't look anything like the guy in the movie Darkman.
Dark Man: No relation. Anyway, try to fend off my surprisingly powerful attacks.
Mega Man: Sure. Hmm...think I'll give the Charge Kick a test drive.
Dark Man: This should be fun to watch.
Mega Man: HEY! My blaster's not working!
Dark Man: Hahahahaha! Joke's on you -- Wily set that weapon to disable your blaster!
Mega Man: Guess all is lost, then. I'd better just slide at you and hope for the best.
Dark Man: Oh crap.
Mega Man: Okay, Proto Man. What's the big idea?
"Proto Man": Oh, I just thought it might be groovy to evilize myself, man. Peace.
Mega Man: Since when do you talk like that?
"Proto Man": Since Woodstock, marvy guy. Sample some flowery love.
Mega Man: OW! You nearly killed me in one shot!
Proto Man: Mega Man, you're an idiot. That's not me. That's Dark Man wearing a Hallowe'en mask of me.
Mega Man: It is? Oh. Too bad I'm finding that out on the point of death.
Proto Man: Sigh...here, have this L-tank.
Dark Man: Oh, this is SO not fair! Dr. Wily only gave me one of those instant-death shots!
Proto Man: The guy's a sadist, Darkster. You're not doing yourself any favours working for him.
Dark Man: Now you tell me.
Dr. Light: (over the comm) Help! Help, Mega Man! Wily captured me!
Mega Man: Then how are you communicating with me?
Dr. Light: This is my one phone call. Now listen up: I've supplied you with this bird who beats his wings and helps you beat villains.
Mega Man: He's called Beat, isn't he?
Dr. Light: How did you guess?
Dr. Wily: Now to crush you once and for all!
Mega Man: Excuse me while I begin the process of Beat generation.
Dr. Wily: You monster. You nearly killed me with that pun alone!
Beat: Twee! Twee!
Dr. Wily: And it's a cutesy non-speaking bird. I hate my life.
Dr. Light: Well done, Mega Man! I and the world are safe once more, and Proto Man's good name is cleared.
Mega Man: I wonder if we'll ever see him again....
Dr. Light: I'm sure we will, but relegated to the role of hint-giver and bonus-provider.
Mega Man: Poor guy.
Proto Man: I don't need your pity. Want a 1-Up?
THE END
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