Dr. Light: Mega Man, come quick! Dr. Wily has escaped and sworn revenge!
Mega Man: Piece of cake.
Dr. Light: He's also built eight new Robot Masters.
Mega Man: Not a problem.
Dr. Light: And he's invented these little birds that fly across the screen launching eggs at you.
Mega Man: This may be harder than I thought.
Dr. Light: I don't have any upgrades for you, but you'll occasionally find these cylinders called Energy Tanks. They can refill your life energy at any time.
Mega Man: Then why exactly does Wily leave them lying around for me to pick up?
Dr. Light: I'm no philosopher. Don't ask me how the world works.
(ZAP)
Flash Man: Hi there. Please don't hurt me.
Mega Man: Okay. Wait a sec -- are you a Robot Master?
Flash Man: Yes, I'm Flash Man.
Mega Man: Flash Man? Oh my God! You'll crush me with your super-speed powers!
Flash Man: I'm not the Flash, I'm Flash Man. My powers are weak and few.
Mega Man: Oh. That's a relief.
Flash Man: So can you possibly do the "not hurting me" thing?
Mega Man: Sorry. I want your weak and few powers.
Quick Man: Fear my speed powers! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Mega Man: No, I think I'd rather kill you.
Quick Man: But you just said you were terrified of super-speed powers!
Mega Man: Does your name have "Flash" in it?
Quick Man: No....
Mega Man: Well, there you go.
Mega Man: I think these Quick Boomerangs will work nicely on you.
Bubble Man: Alas, this is true. But have you considered the cost?
Mega Man: What cost, mate? CRIKEY! Oi'm spakin' with an Austroilian eksent!
Bubble Man: Exactly. So what'll it be -- let me go, or face the greatest embarrassment of your career?
Mega Man: Actually, I was faking. You can die now.
Mega Man: Check out my new Bubble Lead!
Heat Man: Well, I won't be surviving much of that. Hmm...if I'm going to die, I might as well break the sacred Robot Master code and tell you some secrets.
Mega Man: OOF! Talk quickly...this...bubble...is...very...heavy....
Heat Man: Okay. My Atomic Fire can kill Wood Man in one--OW!
Mega Man: Sorry, guy. Couldn't hold onto that sucker anymore.
Wood Man: Oh God, no! The weapon of instant death! Heat Man blabbed, didn't he? Didn't he?
Mega Man: Welcome to the atomic era, Chakotay-boy.
Mega Man: These mini-cyclones could be a problem. I'll use my new Leaf Shield to protect myself....
Air Man: AAAAAAAH!
Mega Man: ....and apparently for other stuff too.
Crash Man: Badda-bang! I'm Crash Man, the bot with bombastic blasters!
Mega Man: Oh, please. You sound like a 60s Batman supervillain.
Crash Man: You're thinking of Chill Penguin. Hey, watch it! You could hurt somebody with that Air Shooter.
Mega Man: I'll be careful.
Mega Man: I think I've mastered the pattern now. Prepare to die, sucker!
Metal Man: Are these Crash Bombs supposed to be hurting me or something?
Mega Man: Wh--what? But the pattern! I just beat Crash Man, so his weapon should work on the next guy!
Metal Man: Perhaps you're not as smart as you think you are.
Mega Man: No, that can't be it. Maybe I'm just not aiming the bombs right....
Metal Man: OW! You hit me in the eye!
Mega Man: That's the stuff.
Dragon: You'll have to get through me to fight Dr. Wily!
Mega Man: You and several other fortress bosses, right?
Dragon: Yeah, but I'm the only interesting one.
Dr. Wily: So we meet again, Mega Man...but you will never defeat my machine of death!
Mega Man: Done.
Dr. Wily: Oh. Well...you won't defeat my other machine of death!
Mega Man: Done.
Dr. Wily: Oh. Um. Er. Hey, guess what -- I'm an alien!
Mega Man: You actually expect me to buy that? I should burst your bubble -- and I've got just the weapon to do it.
Dr. Wily: Rats. Why do I always give myself weaknesses that can be exploited by the weapons of my own Robot Masters?
Mega Man: Dr. Wily is in custody and the world is safe.
Dr. Light: Not just that -- Wily has repented and agreed to become my assistant again.
Mega Man: Are you sure you can trust him?
Dr. Light: Absolutely. He's already designed fourteen Robot Masters; he must be out of ideas by now.
Mega Man: Just when I thought there wasn't going to be a sequel....
(The credits roll at Ludicrous Speed)
THE END
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