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Five-Minute "The Disease"

by CaptAnna

Tal: Let's go have sex.
Kim: I'm not supposed to...okay.

Alien Captain: I don't trust you.
Janeway: You don't trust anyone. You should trust me.
Alien Captain: Okay.

Tal: Let's go have sex again.
Kim: I can't -- I just conveniently remembered that this is the one mission where Mom said not to talk to any girls.

Kim: Me? Late? I was working!
Tom/B'Elanna: Yeah, yeah, that's what we always say.

Tal: Was it good for you too?
Kim: Would I be calling you if it wasn't?
Tal: Wanna do it again?
Kim: Duh!

Paris: You really shouldn't do that.
Kim: Oh, you're one to talk.

Kim: What do you think about love?
Seven: Sucks.
Kim: Does not.
Seven: Does too...and why do you look like a neon sign?

Doc: You're glowing. I'm going to tell Janeway.
Kim: Noooo! I can explain! I slept with the Tal!
Doc: You're an idiot. I'm going to tell Janeway.

Janeway: I'm not getting any. Therefore, you sure as heck can't get any either.
Kim: Sucks to be on this ship. Can I leave?
Janeway: No.
Kim: Thanks for nothing.

Neelix: Someone stole my leola root again.
Tuvok: Thank heavens.
Neelix: And they also did some funky procedure with the life support.
Tuvok: Okay, that's illegal.

Kim: Mom says I can't see you anymore. She's kinda mad about the whole glowing thing.
Tal: Sucks to be you or me. Go back to your ship.
Kim: Oh, like I would want to?
Tal: Wanna keep sleeping together so that we can grow closer together and you can glow even more and your captain can get even madder?
Kim: Okay.

Alien Dude: I broke into your ship. Can I stay?
Chakotay: You have to go through all kinds of paperwork.
Alien Dude: Can I have asylum?
Chakotay: Okay.

Chakotay: Let's have dinner together and discuss Harry's sex life.
Janeway: It's better than mine, and I don't like it.
Chakotay: What if I was getting some? Would you mind?
Janeway: Like you could...I mean, uh, of course I would!
Chakotay: Yeah, yeah, whatever. He's just an ensign, and you need an excuse to keep him down there.
Janeway: Yup. Now, shall we fix that problem of not getting any?

Torres: Our ship's going to fall apart.
Alien Captain: Even if it is caused by ants from my ship.... Not my fault.

Kim: Let's run away.
Tal: Okay.
Kim: You're so beautiful in the moonlight...oh, wait, Tuvok's calling. Sorry, gotta go.

Janeway: You're sick.
Kim: No, I'm healthy, I just don't like you.
Janeway: We're going to assume that's because you're sick.

Chakotay: They're going to blow up. Let's get outta here.
Kim: No, let's give them our shields so that we can all blow up together two minutes later.
Chakotay: Now we're all going to blow up.
Janeway: Sounds like a plan.

Kim: Sucks to be me.
Doc: Want some medicine?
Kim: No thanks.
Janeway: I still treat you like a 5-year-old.
Kim: Sucks to be me.

Kim: Sucks to be me.
Seven: Yeah, it does.

THE END

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This fiver was originally published on June 19, 2000.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2000, CaptAnna.