Five-Minute "Persistence of Vision"
by Jade

Kim: Oops. The doctor looks awfully small here in engineering...
Janeway: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! IDIOTS! DIEDIEDIE!
Doctor: Hmm, I think you've been working too hard, Captain. Go to the holodeck.

Lord Burley: I love you.
Janeway: Cute, now kiss me. By the way, Beatrice plays the piano.
Beatrice: Do not! Just for that, I'm gonna drop mother's flower teacup all over your cucumber sandwiches!

Neelix: The Botha don't seem very friendly.
Janeway: Yeah, whatever. Ooh, cucumber sandwiches! And a flower teacup! And...is this some kind of practical joke?
Beatrice: Mom's not dead and daddy loves her, not you!
Janeway: Ha! It must be Harry!

Kim: It can't be me, B'Elanna says so!
Janeway: Oh, nuts!

Neelix: What's a cucumber sandwich?
Janeway: Weren't there flowers on this cup?
Neelix: Nope.
Janeway: Oh, double nuts!

Kes: I'm cold. That's weird, this isn't "Before and After"...
Janeway: Doc, I can see the girl again!
Doctor: I told you you were under too much stress!
Kes: Wait, I can see her too! And I just reflected her into Janeway!
Doctor: Oh, nuts.

Mark's voice: Cheater!
Janeway: Mark?
Holographic Housekeeper With Big Knife: Nope. Surprise!
Janeway: Oh, triple nuts! Tuvok, help!

Tuvok: It's OK Captain, you're still in sickbay.
Janeway: And that's supposed to make me feel better? I'd better stay here. Wouldn't want to hallucinate that the Bothan was Mark, now would I?

Kim: Maybe the Botha have cloaking devices. Yep, they do!
Chakotay: Oh, nuts.
Janeway: Never fear, Janeway's here! And I'm fi -- hey, does anyone else see Mark on the viewscreen?
Paris: Help, it's dad!
Tuvok: I see T'Pel. This is illogical.
T'Pel: No it's not.
Tuvok: OK. Oh nuts, now I'm transfixed.

Torres: The aliens are doing some technobabble stuff to hypnotize the crew. Why haven't I gone yet when everyone else down here has?
Janeway: (over the comm) Duh, Torres, you're one of the senior staff. Wait your turn while I send Chakotay down there.
Torres: Chakotay? Ooh, now I can't wait to be hypnotized!

Mark: Slow down, Kathy.
Janeway: "Kathy"?

Chakotay: Run away with me.
Torres: No, we need to stop the technobabble stuff using some other technobabble.
Chakotay: It would be much more fun if we had a week alone together before we helped them.
Torres: I can't! What about Tom? What about the Captain?
Chakotay: B'Elanna, this is season two.
Torres: Oh! OK then!

Janeway: Tom? Hello? Oh nuts, I'd better get to engineering.
Mark: Hello, honey. Feeling guilty?
Janeway: Nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts...

Doctor: Looks like it's up to us now, Kes!
Kes: But I'm no good with technobabble!
Doctor: Of course you are. Now get down to engineering and save the day!

Paris: Help!
Kes: Are you a hallucination?
Paris: Yep.
Kes: Then no.

Doctor: Quick, do the technobabble!
Neelix: Hi, honey!
Kes: Nuts, not another hallucination!
Neelix: Here, have some burns that look like mould.
Doctor: Quick, do the reflecting thing!
Kes: I can't!
Doctor: Why have you lost all your self-confidence today? Of course you can!
Neelix: Not if I turn off the monitor!
Kes: Yes I can!
Neelix: Aaaaaaaaargh! Oh, nuts.

Janeway: So where's this alien? I want revenge!
Alien: You can't, I'm not really here. Nyaa nyaa!
Janeway: Oh, nuts.

Torres: I hate that alien. He's made the P/Ters* mad at me.
Janeway: Don't worry, the J/Cers are mad at me too. Anyway, he did us a favor by showing us that C/T would never work.
Torres: I guess. Goodnight. J/C forever.
Janeway: P/T forever.
Torres: Thanks.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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