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Five-Minute "The Best of Both Girls, Part 1"

by Zeke

A lightyear of Voyager Week

Collective: All right, whaddaya want?
Janeway: We want out of your space.
Collective: Hold that thought -- here come the 8472s.
Janeway: Where?
Collective: Sucker! (assimilates Janeway)

Janeway: Wow! This is awesome! I should've known Picard was just talking big. ...What's that? You need a queen, experience preferred? Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Chakotay: Kathryn! No! Fire all weapons at that cube!
Janeway: (over the comm) Relax, Commander. I'm the Borg. I mean, I'm fine.
Chakotay: What are you saying?
Janeway: The Borg made me their queen. I rule literally now! We've got it made, Chakotay. We're both the scorpion and whatever the other animal was.
Kim: But what about the 8472s?
Janeway: They, my friend, are a bag of Fluidic-brand scorpion food.

Doc: According to these scans, the 8472s should be vulnerable to... does anyone recognize this RNA sequence?
Janeway: "UCCUCCUCC..." I'd know that sequence anywhere! Start beaming leola roots onto their bioships!
Neelix: (over the comm) So what do I make supper with?
Janeway: Try shoes and see if anyone notices.

Collective: Welcome to the new, friendlier Collective. Have some coffee cake.
8472: You're going to use my knowledge to destroy or assimilate my people, aren't you?
Collective: And the coffee cake is our way of saying thank you.
8472: (tastes it) A little weak.

Janeway: So much for Species 8472. Isn't this wonderful, Chakotay?
Chakotay: I guess.. as long as you're not going to start embracing the bad things about the Collective, too.
Janeway: Pardon? Sorry, I was hugging this assimilation table.

Borg Cube: Towing, towing, la la la la la....

Sisko: Fleet, there's no denying it: the Federation is in a bad spot. But we will fight, and we will keep on fighting until --
Janeway: (over the comm) Sorry, am I interrupting anything?
Sisko: Don't be silly. The sudden appearance of a freaking Borg cube is no problem at all. Mr. Worf?
Worf: Ramming speed, right?
Sisko: Yup. It sounds so cool when you say it.


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This fiver was originally published on June 4, 2005.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2005, Zeke.