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Old 07-25-2010, 09:25 PM
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Default July 25: TJI (XAW, Day 9)

Day 9 is Sunday, and that means it's time for This Just In! Today's issue is notable for two reasons: it's the first normal issue of TJI since '06 (since then it's been Briefs and whatnot), and it marks the long-awaited return of IJD GAF. With breaking news straight outta San Diego Comic-Con 2010 -- or was it 1865? -- here's IJD with TJI #51: Abrams' Lincoln shot by Joan Wilkes, booth babe.

No ten connection, you say? Take note of the time of "impact". And then be here for Day 10 (which won't take as long as Day 9; this week was my most exhausting math camp ever, and I really had no time for anything else).

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Old 07-26-2010, 12:05 AM
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Quote:
As of yet, there is no evidence of any Con-Federation conspiracy.
Though, no doubt, rumors of it shall rise again.

Hilarious from start to finish, IJD! The puns were superb. Is Gerardo's Ford a reference to Ford theater?
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Old 07-26-2010, 12:23 AM
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Funny stuff, IJD.
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Old 07-26-2010, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek View Post
Is Gerardo's Ford a reference to Ford theater?
I was thinking more of this guy.

nice job.
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Old 07-26-2010, 01:41 AM
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"She never trusted Abrams, and she never will," suggests an anonymous friend. "She'll never forgive them for the death of Spock's mom."
*snigger*

Quote:
Is Gerardo's Ford a reference to Ford theater?
I also thought he meant [s]Gerald Ford[/s] what evay said.

Quote:
When reached for comment, Anton Yelchin was found wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap with the price tag still attached. Visibly shaken, he offered, "I'm terrified that there's still a crazed woman out there, gunning for Abrams' navigators."
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

IJD, there are enough atrocious puns in there that I'm seriously considering flying to California, working out exactly who and where you are and visiting grievous bodily harm upon you with an assortment of novelty inflatable hammers.
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Last edited by Sa'ar Chasm; 07-26-2010 at 01:44 AM.
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Old 07-26-2010, 01:53 AM
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Duh. Gerald Ford. Never mind.
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Old 07-26-2010, 04:41 AM
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Also ten-jentially related:

-the number of letters in "This Just In"

-The number of years since the assassination of Abraham Lincoln (in a roundabout way).

Thanks for the comments, one and all!
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Old 07-27-2010, 12:32 AM
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Not often that a title of a work is enough to make me laugh.
Quote:
It is suggested by some that she utilized transwarp beaming technologies to return to Vulcan itself. It is suggested to some that they kindly resume consumption of doctor-prescribed medication.
Great TJI, IJD.

By the way, I like the new member titles, Zeke. Although I suddenly feel a strange urge to insult everyone I know. In alphabetical order. Are you bovvered?
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To God be the glory. ><>
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Old 07-30-2010, 05:43 PM
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Well that was pretty funny.

Also, red matter, fech.
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Old 08-25-2010, 12:18 PM
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Erm, Day 10?
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:26 AM
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Right, sorry. It's coming. I hit a patch of inertia there.
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[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 08-26-2010, 02:04 PM
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I live in fear of the atrocious Day Ten/datin' pun you're about to inflict on us.
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Old 08-26-2010, 02:52 PM
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Of course, if you're counting in binary, it's only Day 2...
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Old 08-27-2010, 08:29 PM
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You know what they say, there are only two kinds of people in the world... and I'm not either of them.
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Old 08-27-2010, 08:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm View Post
I live in fear of the atrocious Day Ten/datin' pun you're about to inflict on us.
Could be worse. He might go for a geographical pun instead.
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Old 09-13-2010, 07:38 PM
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Cough.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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Old 09-16-2010, 10:46 AM
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<--hands Nate a cough drop
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:18 PM
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Cough drops are awful. I prefer hot liquids. Cider and Tang particularly.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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Old 09-16-2010, 10:53 PM
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Fuming sulphuric acid? You'll never have a sore throat again.

(It's hard to feel pain when your pain receptors have dissolved)
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Old 09-16-2010, 11:51 PM
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The Question: Okay, bored now. Good-bye.

Moving on...
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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