#1
|
||||
|
||||
May 21 (TJILC #1)
You may not have heard about this, but earlier this week the president gave an important speech about illegal aliens. If you missed it, that's okay -- This Just In was, as always, on the job. Here's their live coverage of President Archer on illegal Klingon immigration.
And speaking of TJI, don't look now, but I've created a monster....
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction Last edited by Zeke; 10-22-2006 at 04:43 AM. |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
That was frakking brilliant. (and reminds me how much I've missed fresh ENT parodies in the last year.) Nice job! (Travis as "Speaker of the House"? hee hee) I particularly like how you managed to explain the lack of money in Federation society, thus managing to do a better job than 3/4 of the actual series in setting up the Trekiverse as we know it.
And TrinneerHammered is hardly a monster. I've only gotten two offers this week to expand it.
__________________
Any truth is better than indefinite doubt. — Sherlock Holmes "The Adventure of the Yellow Face," Arthur Conan Doyle |
#3
|
||||
|
||||
Nice TJI, Zeke.
__________________
"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#4
|
||||
|
||||
If a tree fell on the president in the forest, would anyone care?
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#5
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Love it. ~~Losty
__________________
-- Details -- Favourite New Doc: 9th Doctor Favourite Old Doc: 2nd and 6th Doctors -- Firefox Convert. |
#6
|
||||
|
||||
It makes everything WORK! Enterprise is integrated into Star Trek! I kind of want to go cry now...its just so beautiful...should have sent a poet...
Ok, maybe a little overboard, but I do love it.
__________________
I'm a poster in search of a post. |
#7
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#8
|
||||
|
||||
Depends: has he had a line yet?
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#9
|
||||
|
||||
Zeke, you've still got it.
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
#10
|
||||
|
||||
Was there ever any doubt? Other than the BSG event?
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#11
|
||||
|
||||
What do you mean "other than"?
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
#12
|
||||
|
||||
Dude! This article is now Google's top hit for "the bombing will begin in five minutes" -- ahead of all the sites that quote what Reagan actually said!
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
#13
|
||||
|
||||
Sadly though we are no longer the number one hit for "Dalek sex".
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
#14
|
||||
|
||||
What! How can that be!
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
#15
|
||||
|
||||
Don't ask. Doctor Who fan fiction plumbs the dark reaches of the psyche.
__________________
O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#16
|
||||
|
||||
My favorite rendition of the "tree in the forest" joke is a variant of:
If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does he make a sound? As a matter of fact, it's: If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does anybody care?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#17
|
||||
|
||||
If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, is he still trapped inside an invisible box?
Quote:
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python) Last edited by mudshark; 10-22-2006 at 03:00 AM. |
#18
|
||||
|
||||
Found out through the hitcounter. As for how it happened, my best guess is that, like most quotations from famous people, Reagan's joke isn't worded the same on every site.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
#19
|
||||
|
||||
Because I'm just that evillllll....... (deep bass, reeeeveeeerrrrbbb......)
I'd like to transliterate one of my favorite "so awful it's awesome" Dave Barry jokes. He describes going fishing with his son and having to explain that worms really don't feel any pain when their speared onto a hook. Dave also says that they show their pain very convincingly with all that coiling and twisting around. He feels that they do a much better job at showing emotion without words than mimes. Dave also admits that to really know for certain, someone would have to do an experiment that involves baiting a hook with a live mime. He calls for a show of hands from the reading audience, then says "I thought so!" when, presumably, the entire reading audience raised their hands.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#20
|
||||
|
||||
That's a good column. "The first time we tought my son to fish, we went with my lawyer, who he calls Uncle SomethingIdon'trecall......The second time, we went with Uncle Anothernamehere, who is not our lawyer, but Rob calls him 'Uncle' anyway because he is my brother." Barry is a classic.
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora. e of pi: I know you have too much free time. Ddoof: HEY! e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes. We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all. Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers |
|
|