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Sleapers, Part 2


A manifestation of Alternate Universe Week

Marc: It's okay, I've got an idea.

Zeke: I'm listening....

Marc: The only thing powerful enough to generate 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is a bolt of lightning!

IJD: Psst... wrong eccentric scientist

Marc: Hey, I'm doing my best here.

Purnell: All right, enough out of everyone. I said you had the right to remain silent.

Kira: Wait a sec.... (Hands Purnell 50 cents)

Purnell: Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.

Kira: So far so good.... (Hands Purnell a dime)

Purnell: Should you chose to disregard your right to remain silent, you have the right to delay your arrest with pointless prattle.

Kira: Bingo.

Zeke: Hey, see if we have the right to pie.

Kira: Sorry, all out of change. Maybe if you had said something about needing more money before the casino world.

IJD: Uh... shouldn't we be heading to the station or something?

Purnell: We are at the station.

Marc: I thought this was the alley.

Purnell: No, this is a narrow street or passageway between or behind city buildings. The building to the left is the station, and the one on the right is an alley.

Zeke: All right! Who's up for a game of bowling?

Purnell: Well....

(Approximately 1 hour later)

Purnell: Ha! Purnell and Aki 1, You all 0.

Kira: (grumble) That dog never even got a spare.

Purnell: So, about that station....

Sheriff Dean: Hello.

Zeke, Kira, Marc, and IJD: Ack!

Dean: What?

Kira: You seem a little....

IJD: ...familiar.

Marc: It's a common interdimensional phenomenon. With --

Dean: Wait, wait. Interdimensional?

Marc: Er....

Dean: Ha. You are so screwed.

Kira: What did I tell you?

IJD: I demand we speak to our lawyer!

Purnell: Attorney Joe Black won't be available until tomorrow morning.

Zeke, Kira, Marc, and IJD: Ack!

Dean: Oh, and we're running short on cells, so you'll have to room with that mysterious character over there.

Akili: Yo.

(The cell doors are slammed shut behind our unwitting heroes.)

IJD: So, what got you locked away in this joint?

Akili: Oh, I was just experimenting with this thing.

(The mysterious Akili pulls a Duracell out of her pocket.)

Zeke, Kira, and IJD: Ack!

Marc: Wait, wait -- that's good.

Kira: What?

IJD: I'm listening.

Marc: Well, we'll need to fashion some sort of adaptor. Anybody got some conducting material?

(Kira and IJD shrug.)

Marc: Zeke?

Zeke: (to Akili) ...so I say to the leper, "Pull your finger? Aren't you comfortable with the seven you still have?"

Marc: Ahem.

Zeke: Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening.

Marc: Do you have any conducting wire?

Zeke: Oh, uh... (Pulls some gilded dental floss from his pocket)

Kira: Well?

Marc: It just might work. Now all we need is a little--

Dean: Hey! What exactly do you think you're doing?

(Long pause.)

Kira: Told ya.


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This was originally published on June 16, 2003.

DISCLAIMER: Yes, we're still breaking a few copyrights. Coincidentally, we're still insane. Now go fetch me my hunting rifle, it's cabbage season.

All material © 2003, IJD GAF.