Katoya: Welcome to my class. In this booth you will fight TO THE PAIN!|
Crichton: Right, right. And is this where we say we haven't heard of "to the pain" and you get to quote the Princess Bride to us?
Katoya: No, it's really to the pain. A demonstration, Scorpius?
Crichton: Demonstration? You didn't even do anything to him.
Katoya: I know. He'll be hard to beat.
D'Argo: Sniff sniff. Macton? MACTON! You killed my wife! Prepare to die!
Macton: Why would I kill my own sister? It was you who killed her! You prepare to die!
Crichton: Geez, I've heard of fighting with your in-laws, but isn't this a bit too literal?
Lo'Laan: D'Argo hasn't hurt me. He's a good person.
Macton: You have a black eye.
Lo'Laan: I fell.
Macton: And a bloody lip.
Lo'Laan: I fell and hit a table on my way down.
Macton: And your blood is mixed with D'Argo's.
Lo'Laan: He fell with me.
Katoya: John Crichton, will you join me in my chamber ... OF CHAIRS?
Crichton: Chairs? Is that some obscure reference I'm supposed to somehow magically understand? Because people who do stuff like that make me sick.
Crichton: And why did all of you just smack your foreheads?
Macton: D'Argo killed his wife.
Crichton: No, you killed her.
Macton: No, D'Argo did it but he didn't know he did it. He might've blacked out during hyperrage.
Crichton: Look, Macton Echolls, D'Argo Kane may have fits, but he didn't kill Lilly!
D'Argo: I hate Macton! HATE! HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE!
Lo'Laan: Oh no! D'Argo, it's another hyperrage!
D'Argo: IT IS NOT!
Lo'Laan: Oh great, and now the power's out.
D'Argo: What he said is partially true. Blackouts can occur if the hyperrage keeps Luxans from paying their electric bill.
Crichton: And that happened?
D'Argo: Frequently, but I never hit Lo'Laan. Heck, half of the time I couldn't see her, even if I'd wanted to.
Rygel: Must... kill... Charrid.
Charrid: Must... kill... Hynerian.
Crichton: Rygel won! Hooray!
Katoya: Unfortunately, all his efforts have left him unconscious.
Crichton: A double victory!
Lo'Laan: D'Argo? D'Argo, are you all right?
D'Argo: Yeah, I guess I must have hit my head on the table again.
Lo'Laan: We probably should move it. You bled on me again.
D'Argo: But I didn't hurt you, did I? I want to be clear on that.
Lo'Laan: No, D'Argo, you didn't hurt me; you couldn't hurt me. Now is everything as clear as blood?
Crichton: So, can you let me out of this fiery box? Or at least get Meshach and Abednego out so I can have more room?
Katoya: Sure. Just catch this key before it melts in the fire.
Crichton: I hate you.
Scorpius: I have come to make three requests.
Katoya: And they are?
Scorpius: To see thee more clearly -- no wait, to torture Crichton more intensely, to separate D'Argo and Macton more thoroughly, to know the weird creature that attacked Crichton's family more intimately. Will you do these for me?
Katoya: Not all at once, but yes, I think so. Day by day.
D'Argo: I'm thinking about killing Macton, but his lies are getting to me. What should I do?
Crichton: Hm. I don't know; let's think about it. Oh, I know. You should GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BECOME THANKSGIVING DINNER!
D'Argo: No, no, I meant about Macton.
Crichton: D'Argo, you know what you have to do. The question is, are you man enough to macton it?
D'Argo: Can you help me remember what happened during my hyperrages?
Katoya: I don't do mind melds.
Katoya: But I can do risky mind games. Painful risky mind games.
D'Argo: Bring it on.
Lo'Laan: Hiya! We're figments of your past come to manifest ourselves to you. Like the Ghost of Christmas Past.
D'Argo: Why have you brought me here?
Lo'Laan: You exist here.
D'Argo: Figures. So did I hurt you during my hyperrages?
Lo'Laan: Only in the physical sense.
Katoya: Mental GAK!
D'Argo: Ha! You ducked out first! Now who can't take the pain, huh? Wait, Macton? What are you doing in my mind?
Macton: It's time for me to show my true colors.
Macton: That's only whenever I want to appear as my sister to confuse you.
D'Argo: Boy, this memory trip stuff gets more and more disturbing.
Macton: It is time for you to be chained, Ebeneezer D'Argo.
Macton: Face it, you killed my sister. Now wallow in your misery and hyperrage. Wallow... TO THE PAIN!
D'Argo: --GGGGHHey, wait a minute! I didn't kill my wife.
Macton: Okay, okay, that's how it could've happened. But how about this?
Lo'Laan: Oh happy dagger! This is thy sheath.
Lo'Laan: There rust and let me die.
D'Argo: Oh please. I hadn't even heard of Shakespeare back then.
Macton: Okay, okay, here's what really happened.
Macton: I hate D'Argo, so I'm going to bury him.
Lo'Laan: I'll stab you!
Macton: Gasp! Backstabber!
Lo'Laan: Gasp! Sidestabber!
D'Argo: Well, my work here is done! Done... TO THE PAIN!
Scorpius: It turns out that the creature that attacked your family is a skreeth. Probably one of the leftover allies of the Shadows. Good to know, isn't it, Crichton? ...Crichton? ...We did get Crichton out of the furnace, right?
(The Lo'La goes back for Crichton at Ludicrous Speed)