Doctor's Log: I'm feeling ignored, so I'm going to commit theft. On an unrelated topic, I think my reasoning subroutine may be malfunctioning.
Sycorax: Any progress on the plan to escape the Bubble by using Voyager's systems?
Doc: Morning, Harry. I've come under a transparent excuse to steal a Sernaix item.
Doc: Okay, now I'll just push some random buttons. OW! Okay, that's the pain button. Maybe this is the pleasure button...OW! Nope, pain again. Oo, a button marked "Hurl Voyager out of the Bubble and into the distant future!" Wonder what that one does?
Paris: ....and if you ask me, "Ratty" is a terrible name. How would you like it if I called you Kimmy?
Janeway: Okay, we'll go over it again. First you get in the shuttle, then you fly down to the planet--
Chakotay: GASP -- I've found Data's head! I mean a Maquis phaser. Sorry, got confused there.
Finley: ....at which point the inertial dampers went offline. We weren't killed because the magic elves who live in the dampers saved us like in "Timeless."
Kim: Okay, I'll take a look at your -- AAAAAA! I wanted to take a look at your program, not your...that!
Chakotay: Frankly, I think we should just completely give up and never try to get home ever again.
Doc: Found the problem with my program yet?
Chakotay: I suppose you minor characters are wondering why I've called you here today. The theory is that I can make you do unpaid work as long as you keep your mouths shut.
Kim: ....and of course that would affect the arrow of time.
Paris: I think we could raise morale by firing up the holodeck.
Wildman: Commander, Naomi's a J/Cer and she was wondering if--
Janeway: The scientific theories won't get us home. For the first time, technobabble has failed us.
Tuvok: May I say a few words of encouragement and moral support?
Janeway: Let's do some subtle J/C innuendo. (ahem) Hey Chakotay, let's go to my quarters and get busy!
Chakotay: ....and so the Starfleet signature turned out to be Data's phaser, or possibly a Maquis head.
Janeway: So the phaser is Dalby's? That's one mystery solved, but now we have a new one.
Kim: We've been sucked back into the Bubble for no reason.
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DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.
All material © 2001, Zeke.