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Five-Minute "Echoes of the Mind"

by Zeke

Kim: AAAAAAA! What a horrible nightmare! I dreamed that I was having symbolic dreams, just like Janeway did in (gulp) "Yesterday's Love Story"!
Computer: That's reality, you poor stupid kid.
Kim: Sigh... reality bites.

Torres: So what's up, Harry?
Kim: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Torres: We've been close friends for the past eight years.
Kim: Hmm. What's your name?
Torres: B'Elanna Torres!
Kim: Sorry, it's not ringing any bells. The only people I know are Seven of Nine and...well, actually, that's all.

Vargas: Starfleet wants the ship done very, very soon.
Kim: We need several months more; how soon do they want it?
Vargas: Yesterday. I probably should have told you two weeks ago, when they first asked.
Kim: But we haven't figured out how to make quantum foam yet!
Kim: What?

Doc: (over the comm) And you should -- hey, are we finished appeasing the D/7ers yet?
Seven: Yeah, that should be enough.
Doc: Good. I'm outta here.

Vargas: Welcome to the Montana Project! I hate you sooo much.
Seven: Then why did you hire me?
Vargas: Harry said you had "considerable assets"...not sure what he meant.

Torres: Mmmm, this chili is delicious. Much better than the unfortunate dogs we Klingons eat.
Kim: Do you know this person, darling?
Seven: I've never met her before, sweetie. What's she doing at our table?

Kim: Okay, time to activate the large Sernaix gizmo, disregarding all possible consequences.
Ozymandias: Including me?
Kim: AAAAAAA! Everybody run!
Ozymandias: Darn it. I keep reminding myself to buy breathmints, but I always forget when I'm near a store.

Vargas: How could you let this happen? You're a complete moron! For that reason, I'm putting you in charge of fixing the problem.
Kim: Thanks. Who are you again?

Kim: I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz....
Ozymandias: Quiet, you. Now allow me to explain what I'm doing here, along with some other expository material.
Kim: Will it take long?
Ozymandias: Don't worry. I value my time too highly to spend much of it talking to you.

Barton: I'm from Section 31. Um, Starfleet Security. Mind if I blow up your prototype?
Vargas: Somewhat. Can't you just beat it around a bit?

Ozymandias: Uh oh -- the bad guys are here for me.
Kim: I should probably do something. Can you put me in touch with that woman who keeps talking to me?
Ozymandias: B'Elanna?
Kim: Yeah, her.

Seven: You!
Torres: Hi. Harry sent me to check on you.
Seven: Awwwww...my honey's so sweet! Seven to Harry: I love you, cuddlebunches! But who's this weird lady?
Kim: (over the comm) I'll explain later, once I figure it out myself. Anyway, I need your help.
Seven: Anything, cutey!
Kim: Thanks, snugglywuzzle!
Torres: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the corner throwing up repeatedly.

Vargas: I hate you already. You're like Seven, but with fewer assets.
Barton: Please explain why I should care.

Ozymandias: Okay, time to link your minds.
Seven: (over the comm) What part of the plan is that?
Ozymandias: Actually, it's not necessary at all, but your boyfriend said it would be romantic.
Seven: Harry! You're so perfect, darlingpie! I wuv youuuuu!
Torres: Oh God -- I thought it was safe to come back. Excuse me.

Vargas: Cut it out. Oz-boy just surrendered.
Barton: He did? Blast! I always get these missions! First the France takeover, now this....

Vargas: Well, I was wrong about you, Seven. You're not completely loathsome.
Torres: She is so! Where have you been?
Vargas: Oh yeah, I forgot you. B'Elanna, I hereby congratulate you for the leadership you at no point demonstrated today.
Torres: Can you talk a little louder, please? I'm wearing earplugs to block out certain ambient noise.
Vargas: What ambient noise?
Kim: Seven babyyyy! You're my favourite squishy thing in the whole universe!
Vargas: Never mind.

Barton: Um...evil boss, sir? I failed in my mission and--
Barton: Whoops! Sorry -- I must have shown up during your Evil Cackling hour. I'll come back later.
(Mr. West cackles evilly at Ludicrous Speed)


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This fiver was originally published on December 19, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2001, Zeke.