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Five-Minute "Cold Fire"

by Jade

Kes: Tee-hee!
Tuvok: Stop it!
Kes: Fine, don't help me! I'll find some Ocampa guy to help me develop my under-developed, potentially dangerous mental abilities instead!

Kes: Doc, since when do you keep bees?
Doctor: That's not bees, it's a piece of rock -- er, I mean, dead Caretaker! Or is it alive again? I'm confused.

Torres: It's dead.
Kes: It's alive!
Torres: No, it's just conveniently reacting to the Caretaker's ex so we can find her. It says to go thattaway.

Kim: Hey look, Ocampa!
Tanis: Go away.
Janeway: Hey! No one hangs up on me and gets away with it! Kes, talk to your cousin, make him see reason.
Kes: Hey Tanis, I'm Ocampan too!
Tanis: Cool!

Tanis: Y'know, people don't like you.
Kes: I like them.
Tanis: Okay, I do too.

Tanis: My Ocampa are better than yours.
Kes: Why?
Tanis: Um...we can make plants bloom?
Kes: Ooh, pretty!

Tanis: Our people live longer than you.
Kes: Isn't there anything you can't do better than me?
Tanis: No, unless you take away Susperia's help...will you move in with me?

Tuvok: Here's your big gun of the week.
Janeway: Thanks, but I'll pretend we won't need it for the moment.

Tanis: Do this.
Kes: Hey cool, now I can make coffee without help!

Kes: Can I show you my new trick?
Tuvok: No, that Tanis makes my blood boil.
Kes: Good idea!
Kes: Oops.

Kes: I feel guilty.
Tanis: Aww, would it make you feel better if you killed all your plants?

Torres: (over the comm) I'm reading something dangerous....
Janeway: Uh-oh.
Paris: B'Elanna! I have to save her!
Janeway: Tom, season 2, remember?
Paris: Oh. In that case, send Tuvok.

Tuvok: AAAAAAARGH! Twice in the same episode!

Tanis: Can you hear Susperia?
Kes: Yeah, I don't like her.

Susperia: I don't like you.
Janeway: It's raining! No, wait, it's red...eew! Blood!
Susperia: I'm bored of you, I want my revenge. Would you mind floating up to the ceiling in excruciating pain?

Kes: Hey, don't hurt my Talaxian!

Janeway: It's raining again! No, wait, that's me. OW!
Torres: OW!
Tuvok: OW!
Janeway: Tuvok, time for the big gun of the week.
Susperia: OW! Are you going to kill me?
Janeway: No, it's season 2, I haven't gone psycho yet.
Susperia: Oh. Bye!

Captain's Log: I still want to find Susperia.

Kes: I lost my powers.
Tuvok: Meh.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)


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This fiver was originally published on March 8, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2001, Josephina Delahaye.