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Zeke presents....

The Top 10 New Year's Resolutions of Torchwood Characters

  1. Ianto: Find a unique and useful role on the team other than janitor or Jack's Lady Marmalade; failing that, shoot Owen more
  2. Bilis Manger: Find a smaller and/or more convincing demon-god to worship
  3. Rhys: Get far, far away from Gwen before he runs out of resettable deaths
  4. Tosh: See if her cousin Hoshi has any advice about post-alien-sex angst
  5. The pet pterodactyl: Eat fewer Cybermen
  6. Suzie: Return from the dead again via an even more elaborate scheme that she'd been setting up even longer; also, consider changing her name to Seska
  7. Gwen: Get some of her likability back
  8. Owen: Get some likability, period
  9. Martha Jones: Have a nice, relaxing guest spot and make it out with her heterosexuality intact
And the number one resolution of a Torchwood character....
  1. Captain Jack: Come up with an even more ridiculous lie to sell the Doctor on -- Jack's still laughing over the Face of Boe thing
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This list was originally published on January 15, 2008.

DISCLAIMER: The pterodactyl hasn't been named on the show so far, but apparently its on-set nickname is Myfanwy. (It's Welsh.)

All material © 2008, Colin Hayman.