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Zeke presents....

The Top 10 Problems Rikk, Ally, and Rumy Are Going to Have

  1. Rumy, being completely new to all this, has a nagging worry that Ally will get her pregnant
  2. As fans, all three of them remember how much V sucked
  3. Meighan's mind, not exactly a dynamo at the best of times, blows completely every time she tries to figure out which one of the triad she's jealous of
  4. Their only choices of 'ship acronym are a file format, a pirate interjection, and RRA, which brings back bad memories of the Club's bloody feud with the Romance Readers Association
  5. Rikk's denominational options are now pretty much limited to the United Church, which recently added polyamory to the list of things it no longer considers sinful -- along with man/bumblebee marriages, vampirism, kicking blind people, and sin
  6. Telling their parents; collecting the many complicated ingredients for a Resurrect spell; bringing their parents back to life; telling them again; collecting the ingredients....
  7. The producers of the upcoming movie based on the Club's adventures... well, they don't mean to be rude, but they need an ending that can play in Peoria
  8. They can't agree on the nomenclature: Rikk wants to call them a trilogy, Ally votes for a vee-and-a-half, and Rumy's still trying to come up with some pun on "3x3 Eyes"
  9. So he lost Rumy to a guy who was already getting some... yep, Anti-Cupid or no Anti-Cupid, sooner or later Tim is going to snap
And the number one problem Rikk, Ally, and Rumy are going to have....
  1. Rikk may like sf, but he never cared for Heinl-- wait. Does he? I can't remember if it's been established, and I'll look ridiculous if my number one item is based on... (sigh) All right, pull up the archives and start the coffee maker. It's gonna be a long night
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This list was originally published on February 15, 2006.

DISCLAIMER: What did Rumy eventually come up with? "3x3 Ais," of course.

All material © 2006, Colin Hayman.