eTrektion 2004 Candidate Profiles

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking Name: Stephen Hawking

Aliases: Hawkman (don't tell anyone)

Age: 41 years longer than the doctors predicted, and counting!

Gender: Male

Previous Work: A Brief History of Time, Black Holes and Baby Universes, most of modern physics post-Einstein

Favourite Enterprise Episode: "Singularity"

Plans, If Elected: More black holes; more baby universes; more poker

Why Voters Should Choose You: Under my executive producership, the squeaky wheel will get the grease

References: Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Data

Five-Minute History of Time: Give me a minute... okay. Here's a BASIC outline.

10 Big Bang: BANG!
20 Stars and Other Astronomical Objects: (exist)
30 Billions of Years: (pass)
40 Stars and Other Astronomical Objects: GAK!
50 Big Crunch: CRUNCH
60 GOTO 10

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Copyright 2004, Colin Hayman. A product of This Just Inc. All rights reserved.