Five-Minute "The Best of Both Worlds"
Riker: Is it just me, or does Jouret 4 seem a little quieter than we were led to believe?|
Data: The colony has been replaced with a smoking crater, sir.
Riker: Right, just me then. Oh, and make a note for the ship's record....
La Forge: We know, we know. "Sucks to be that colony."
Captain's Log: We have no idea who cratered Jouret 4, so we're blaming the Borg. Admiral Hansen and Commander Shelby have come to help us with that.
Admiral Hansen: How are you, old friend?
Commander Shelby: Hi. Can I have your job?
Wesley: I'll bet... fifteen.
O'Brien: Morning, sirs. I have a great idea for how to beam you down.
Riker: How dare you leave early, you demon of efficiency?
Hansen: I'm leaving now. Good luck with the Borg.
Picard: Will, I'd like to offer you your own command.
Troi: It all comes down to this, Will: why is Michael Piller still here?
Hansen: (over the comm) Bad news, guys. The Borg just destroyed the Lalo.
Wesley: I'm detecting a cubical ship approaching, sir.
Borg: We're Borg. Get assimilated. Resistance sucks.
Captain's Log: The Borg have chased us into a nebula. Those jerks. As far as I'm concerned, the wedding's off.
Wesley: I have this brilliant idea for a super-weapon. We take the deflector dish and --
Picard: Come in, Will. Shelby was just telling me how you shafted her saucer-separation plan.
Riker: If you ever do that again, I will personally --
Picard: How's the super-weapon coming?
Guinan: Pre-battle jitters, eh?
Picard: Standing around on the bridge, just as peaceful as can be....
Riker: We have to save the captain! I'm going over there.
Borg: We are the Borg.
Shelby: We're aboard the cube. Nobody seems to be around....
Riker: (over the comm) Is my weapon ready, Mr. La Forge?
Shelby: STOMP STOMP STOMP --
O'Brien: (over the comm) The away team's back, in some interesting uniform combinations.
Worf: Firing now... awwwww! Nothing happened!|
Riker: Okay, now I believe it was Geordi's idea.
Locutus: The part of me that was once Jean-Luc Picard offers the same sentiment. The part that was not offers this one: SUCKERS! HA HA! IN YOUR FACE!
Riker: Quiet, you.
Wesley: The Borg have gone to Warp Sweet Mother Of Mercy That's Fast. They're heading for Sector 001.
Hansen: (over the comm) You let them get away?
Picard: These operations are really painful. Can I talk to your boss about maybe getting some Aspirin?
Riker: Okay, Worf, you're my security chief. What strategy do you advise?
Shelby: How soon can we be under way?
Riker: Hi, Admiral. How goes the battle?
Riker: Before we go, I have an announcement to make. Data, Geordi, Worf... you'd all make good first officers. Well, that's a bit much. Decent first officers. Maybe "okay"....
Guinan: Mind if I come in?
Wesley: Entering Wolf 359 nnnnnnnnnnnow.
Riker: Okay, we're going to try a brilliant idea I had in Part I. Prepare to separate the ship.
Locutus: (over the comm) Are you prepared to discuss surrender?
Data: POW! BAM! SLAM!
Riker: Is Locutus on board?
Captain's Log: It is soooooooo cool to be recording these things. Maybe I'll take Guinan's advice and forget saving Picard.
Crusher: Jean-Luc? Are you in there?
Shelby: The Borg just destroyed some amusingly-shaped ships near Saturn. It was cool.
Data: I will now begin to interface with the collective's systems through Locutus's uplink.
Wesley: Entering Earth orbit, sir.
Riker: Everybody ready to die?
Shelby: (over the comm) They're all asleep over here, sir. Should I try poking them?
Borg Cube: Oh, this is gonna leave a mark.
Captain Picard's Log: It's been a long and difficult two weeks recovering and rebuilding, but I feel I can now safely say that Will Riker's reign of terror has ended.
Riker: Well, that was good clean fun for everyone. Are you sure you can't stay, Commander Shelby?
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DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.
All material © 2002, Zeke.