Five-Minute "Home Soil"
by Derek Dean
by Derek Dean
Mandl: (over the comm) I'm innocent! Innocent, I tell you!|
Picard: Why wouldn't you be innocent?
Mandl: Very good question. Why don't you go away while I think of the answer?
Troi: (to Picard) I sense he's hiding something. I also sense you already knew that.
Picard: Sigh. Dr. Mandl, it wouldn't be a problem if we beamed down an Away Team, would it?
Mandl: Um, er, no! No problem at all. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap!
Picard: You're still transmitting.
Louisa Kim: Hi! I'm in charge of PR for the terraformers; let me give you the tour. Afterwards, you can visit our giftshop.
Nerd 1: Why doesn't this thing work?
Mandl: I'm glad you've all arrived safely. When are you leaving?
Troi: I'm sensing that Nerd 2's in danger!
Data: Hey, Geordi! Look down this hole!
Crusher: Computer, is this ugly piece of mostly sand alive?
Captain's Log: The little speck of sand has split in two and is trying to communicate with us. All of us now agree that the sand is alive. Well, except for the computer.
Computer's Log: Of course I don't think it's alive! It's a piece of sand for crying out loud! I think the crew has taken one too many trips to the sandbar, if you know what I mean.
Picard: Did you know there were lifeforms on the planet?
Riker: Captain, you should look at this picture of the sand.
Microbrain: You've been mean to us. Therefore we're declaring war on you.
Data: I figured it out! They're photoelectric.
Picard: Well, let this incident forever prove that there are more lifeforms out there than just carbon-based ones.
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DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.
All material © 2002, Derek Dean.