April 8

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Kim: According to our scans, Dreadnought is thataway.
Torres: Your scans can deceive you. Don't trust them.

Janeway: I just wanted to let you know that there's a big freakin' missle headed your way.
Kellan: (over the comm) Is that some kind of threat?
Janeway: I personally thought it was a rather good one.

Torres: Why do I feel like I just beamed on to DS9?
Dreadnought: Last login: 47474.7 from maquis.org. You have mail.
Torres: Computer, read email.
Dreadnought: "Would you like to enlarge your --"
Torres: Delete message. Ctrl-Alt-Delete.
Dreadnought: The system is going to shut down NOW.

Torres: Dreadnought, why did you start back up?
Dreadnought: (over the comm) Um, Ctrl-Alt-Delete is the instruction to reboot, not to shut down.
Torres: Well, then shut down.
Dreadnought: Neener, neener, neener!
Torres: I never taught it to do that.
Dreadnought: Sure you did. That was in between "Ha ha!" and "Pbbbbt!"

Kellan: (over the comm) So the missile's going to explode and everyone's going to die?
Janeway: Well, we tried to stop it.
Kellan: Yeah, how many casualties did you have?
Janeway: I, um, broke a nail.
Kellan: I hate you. I hate you so much.

Torres: Hello, Dreadnought.
Dreadnought: Last login: 49447.1 from voyager.com. You have mail.
Torres: Computer, read email.
Dreadnought: "Lose weight while trying to self-destruct a missle! It works! No need to excer--"
Torres: Delete message. Shut down.
Dreadnought: Pbbbbt!

Torres: All right. You're a computer, I can talk you into self-destructing. Um, "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad."
Dreadnought: Huh?
Torres: Oh, just tell me why you're not working right.
Dreadnought: Well, maybe it's that corrupted file in my filesystem. By the way, I hope you can breathe without life support. I know I can.

Kellan: (over the comm) Since the planet's going to be blown up, I've taken out an outrageous amount of money from a loanshark, told my wife what I really think of her, and dressed up like an asparagus!
Janeway: We were thinking we would destroy Voyager to stop the missile.
Kellan: Um, actually I think I'd prefer you let the missile destroy us now.
Janeway: You really want to die?
Kellan: Can't you see I'm green with envy?

Torres: Let's see, how do I crash a computer? I know! Install new software!
Cardassian Dreadnought: The Maquis Dreadnought has preformed an invalid page fault.
Maquis Dreadnought: That was a valid page fault!
Cardassian Dreadnought: Stack overflow!
Maquis Dreadnought: Norman! Norman, coordinate!
Cardassian Dreadnought: (singing) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.

Janeway: I'm afraid the only way to stop Dreadnought is to push The Button.
Chakotay: The self-destruct button or the Reset button?
Janeway: Can't I do both?

Dreadnought: This is the way the world ends, not with a --
(BANG!)
Transporter: Whine.
Torres: Whimper.
[quoteost_uid0]

If someone had told me earlier today that tonight I will read one TRULY & UTTERLY SPECTACULAR fiver..... I mean really, this is a masterpiece. Sorry for copying almost all paragraphs from the fiver, I simply wanted to copy all parts that had me ROTF-laughing. Derek, you`re great. I`ve also read your "Clues" and "Silicon Avatar" this week and I loved them!


Nic[/colorost_uid0]