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[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Pies in the Fooled, Part One"

ijd gaf: Okay, the last title was fairly obvious, but how is anyone supposed to recognize this reference?
NAHTMMM: By paying attention to the next scene. Observe.
Disposable Redshirt: Red rum! Red rum! Red--GAK!
ijd gaf: Whatever.

Arzosah: Hi everyone! I'm here to tell you the next part's just after everyone returns to Earth from Zetar, OK? Oh, and Andromeda rocks! Woo-hoo!
[iost_uid0]NAHTMMM: And yeah, the fight's a rip-off. So sue m--er, I mean, so sue taya17. [/iost_uid0]*bonk*[iost_uid0] Ouch![/iost_uid0]

PHJ: What the frell is going on in here?
Standback: That's what we'd like to know, and we've been here for the past few hours.
Celeste: Now-Zeke challenged Future-Zeke to a duel over the recipe book--and Future-Zeke accepted!
Sa'ar: You know, the one we went to Zetar for in the previous installment.
catalina marina: Was that an example of bald-faced exposition?
Sa'ar: [iost_uid0]Shameless[/iost_uid0] bald-faced exposition. Â Hey, whatever gets me lines.
taya17: I can't fathom why Now-Zeke would even try this. After all, Future-Zeke's already experienced this as Now-Zeke. He should [iost_uid0]remember[/iost_uid0] how Now-Zeke will fight.
NAHTMMM: Ah, but Future-Zeke has to be careful not to inflict any permanent injuries on Now-Zeke because he'll suffer from them too--OW! That hurt!
taya17: Then be quiet and think, silly! Now-Zeke has to be careful for the same reason, because he'll eventually become Future-Zeke.
Sa'ar: Forty.
PHJ: 40 seconds until the duel starts?
Sa'ar: No, 40 times those two have gone over the same exact ground, word-for-blow. It's like we're trapped in a sadistic time loop of doom. Â Speaking of which, NAH's using up our Band-Aid supplies.
Nan: Heh, those kids. Arguing over nothing. Zeke are borrowing a pair of my foam bats for this duel, so they don't exactly have to worry about breaking each other's necks.
O'Pipp: "A pair"? Â Nan, how many bats do you have?
Nan: Erm, right now? Â About a dozen, I think. Â ...Hey, I go through them pretty fast. The Blue Screen of Death can be so inspiring.

[iost_uid0]In the kitchen...[/iost_uid0]
Future-Zeke: [iost_uid0](walking in)[/iost_uid0] Time to check my pie. Looks good to me. Mmm, fresh-from-the-oven Zetarian blueberry pie.
Captain Galactic: [iost_uid0](from another room)[/iost_uid0] Er, sir, I found an old brownbelt. Are you sure you want to wear that 'trusty old' greenbelt?
Future-Zeke: You found my brownbelt? Wow, how long has that been missing? All right, I'm coming... [iost_uid0](leaves)[/iost_uid0]
Now-Zeke: La di da, oh look, pie. Mmm, fresh-from-the-oven blueberry pie.
Future-Zeke: Time to eat my pie. Hey! You! Get outta my pie!
Now-Zeke: Sheesh, one little slice and you go ballistic. I hope I never become [iost_uid0]that[/iost_uid0] touchy.
Future-Zeke: You mean you aren't already?
Now-Zeke: I mean about something other than exclamation points. What's the worst this can do, become a plot complication?

FatMat: ...Let the duuuel beegin!
[iost_uid0](The two Zekes begin circling in a rip-offish manner.)[/iost_uid0]
Future-Zeke: You are using Benoni's Defense against me, eh?
Now-Zeke: I thought it fitting considering the enclosed area.
Future-Zeke: Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Nescafe Frappe? --Hey, wait! [bost_uid0]I[/bost_uid0] wanted to be the Dread Pirate!
Now-Zeke: Oh, but I-you am. It's only you-you who isn't.
Future-Zeke: Whatever. Ha! Almost got you that time! And here you go into the Italian defense--short jabs center and left to set me back on my heels, then--
[iost_uid0]*POW!*[/iost_uid0]
Future-Zeke: Ow, my head! That swing wasn't short!
Now-Zeke: I decided to transpose to a Spanish attack on the spur of the moment.
Ruy: You know, if not for my presence, nobody would get the nerdy running gag in the last three or four lines. Â And they still won't.
Future-Zeke: I sure wasn't expecting a Spanish from you--
Zeke: Of course you didn't! NOBODY expects the Spanish Transposition!
Everybody Else: ACK! *thud*
FatMat: Oof! ...One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, [bost_uid0]ten[/bost_uid0]! And theee winnah is [bost_uid0]Noww-Zeeeke[/bost_uid0]! ...Whew, now I can stop talking like that.
taya17: Inconceivable!
mudshark: The painfully awful play on words or the outcome?
taya17: Both!

[color=grayost_uid0]Woman: You still in here?
Man: Why did you have to throw me in this pitch-black room and lock me in?
Woman: For your own protection. You know, from...
Man: Oh, right. What did you want to ask?
Woman: Can you tell me anything about Zetarian pies?
Man: Ah, their pies. Their pies were irresistibly yummy. But they were used for irresistible evil, meant to destroy enemies of Zetar from the inside out. Zetar would sign a peace treaty with a world and send a few pies as gifts along with the pink copy. Within a few weeks, that world would have torn itself apart.[/colorost_uid0]
NeoMatrix: Ooo, spooky.
[color=grayost_uid0]Woman: Sshhh! How did [iost_uid0]you[/iost_uid0] get in here?
NeoMatrix: The same way everybody else goes anywhere with anyone who wants to go anywhere alone. I hid in the baggage compartment.
Woman: Whatever. Just keep quiet. --So, how did the pies cause the destruction of an entire civilization?
Man: Supposedly, anyone who ate the pie would come down with a violent, uncontrollable urge t--[/colorost_uid0][color=redost_uid0][bost_uid0]GAK![/bost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
Woman: [iost_uid0]What the--[bost_uid0]O'PIPP![/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0] :swear:
O'Pipp: Woo-hoo! Just five more kills and I can trade in for a magazine subscription! ...Wait, that's not how it's supposed to go...
Woman: [bost_uid0]Do you realize you may have just doomed the [iost_uid0]Earth[/iost_uid0] to [iost_uid0]destruction[/iost_uid0]?[/bost_uid0]
O'Pipp: What, by killing Jonas? If it didn't make any difference the first few dozen times, why would it matter now?
Woman: Hold on a moment. The way this is going, no one's ever going to mention that I'm Kira. So I'll do it myself: I'm Kira. --Where were we again?
NeoMatrix: Something about causing doom and destruction.
Kira: Oh, nothing important then. I must have been thinking of "Topic Title". Hey, anyone want to go for some pie?
Everyone Else: Mmm, pie.

([iost_uid0]Everyone heads for the pie store at Ludicrous Speed.[/iost_uid0])[/colorost_uid0]