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#11
09-07-2003, 08:41 PM
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[color=#000000
 ost_uid0][iost_uid0]"The Pies of Zetar"[/iost_uid0]Zeke:  Hmm, "pies"? Maybe this one will actually be interesting... Mysterious Future Guy:  But NAH is writing it. Zeke:  Point. --Hey, who are you? And why are you driving Archer nuts? Who decided [i ost_uid0]you[/iost_uid0] should be the only person who gets to have all the fun?MFG:  Sorry, different Future Guy. Now, shall we get to the plot already? Zeke:  Sure, but wait a sec. I feel a moral obligation to pick up all the forumgoers who fainted at the mention of a plot in a Baw fiver. PointyHairedJedi:  Check out this plot device I got real cheap at Christie's. Saxamaphone:  ...[i ost_uid0](has to wait while the author runs off to Boogle in a fit of inspiration)[/iost_uid0]... Wouldn't that be less confusing if you just said "Google"? Anyway, that's a real nice picture of a, errr, umbrella thingy you've got there, PHJ.PHJ:  Oh, sorry, I have it upside down. It's really a picture of a broom. But how does this further the plot in a story about pies? Katy Jane:  maybe there's a secret mesage hidden somewhere on it? look! There under the artist's signature PHJ:  Wait a moment. What the frell are we doing squinting at a portrait of a broom? Isn't there a huge ZonK fleet coming to Earth? With Captain Galactic and Zuke in an orbiting starbase? Celeste:  Yeah, and I'm the Dictator of Earth or something! With Riley as First Dog! Yippee : D NAHTMMM:  Number one, please don't mention baddies, or even [i ost_uid0]a[/iost_uid0] baddie, orbiting Earth in starbases. It brings back  :eyeroll: :madder: :dead:  memories of the last half of [iost_uid0]Death Orbit[/iost_uid0]. Number two, we're putting that storyline on hold for the moment.O'Pipp:  Will this [i ost_uid0]new[/iost_uid0] storyline involve Jonas decapitation?NAH:  Um, I have no idea. Let's find out, OK? mudshark:  Could someone turn on the overhead lights for me? ...Thanks. ...This is hard to read. "Macoides"? "Mecaidcs?" Maybe that's Mercedes. ..."Tercorum"? Is that like a geological epoch or something? Derek:  I'm guessing that somebody misspelled "Trek forum". Anything else on there? mudshark:  There's some scribble out in front of all this, then at the end there's something about "satis Bee". Or "satis" something. NeoMatrix:  Maybe someone couldn't spell Marina Sirtis catalina marina:  *had been dozing, now starts* Huh? Zeke:  So who else is going to come with me to Zetar? Sa'ar Chasm:  I'm coming, just so I can get a line in somewhe--oh, wait. Never mind. Nan:  Heh.  Never a dull moment with you guys.   Marc:  Zeke? Doesn't the message tell us to drive a Mercedes around a Star Trek Board dedicated to Troi? Zeke:  No, that last, besides being part of the whole reference, must say "satisfy thee". That obviously refers to the pie satisfying I. Er, thee. I mean, me. The title of this is "Pies of Zetar". Not "Pies of TrekBBS" or "Pies of EFCL" or anything else. Ergo, we go to Zetar. Get it, Marc? ijd gaf:  Why should we trust this silly message anyway? [i ost_uid0]Look[/iost_uid0] at this! The picture frame isn't even cedar!Zeke:  Well, here we are. Kira:  That was almost too quick. Zeke:  This is a fiver. MFG:  Written by NAHTMMM. Zeke:  Oh yeah. I guess that [i ost_uid0]was[/iost_uid0] disturbingly quick then.Katy Jane:  why are we making fun of NAH? NAH:  Because it's fun!  Katy Jane:  oookay then... ijd gaf:  You do realize that the entire planet of Zetar is a cloud of dust, right? Zeke:  Well, yeah. I was hoping that maybe a cookbook or something had survived the destruction though. Cookbook:  Yoo-hoo! Over here! PHJ:  Gotcha! Tractoring in... Zeke:  Good, let's get out of here quickly. These short scenes are creeping me out. I'm not even sure NAH actually wrote this. MPQ:  So the fact that a flimsy cookbook somehow survived the cataclysm that utterly destroyed the rest of its planet doesn't disturb you? Zeke:  Nope. This is a Baw fiver. What do you expect, realism? Zeke:  Let's have a look at this book. "How to Make a Pie Out of Any Food". Eh, I guess this might actually be useful. I still haven't found that old apple-and-tangerine pie recipe I lost a few years back. Jonas:  Millennia ago, the Zetar were renowned across the galaxy for their ability to make pies out of anything--so goes the legend. But their pies held a terrible curs--[i ost_uid0][bost_uid0][color=redost_uid0]GAK![/colorost_uid0][/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0] :dead:Things Are Good:  "a terrible curs[i ost_uid0][bost_uid0][color=redost_uid0]GAK[/colorost_uid0][/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0]"?O'Pipp:  (rubbing the blade of her Jonas Scyther of Doom absent-mindedly as she checks her watch) Twelve seconds?  How embarrassing.  I'm getting out of practice. Kira:  Frell, O'Pipp, don't you realize what you've done? You kept us from finding out what the dark secret of the Zetarian pies is! Now we're practically doomed to endure a sequel! O'Pipp:  Will I get to kill Jonas again? Kira:  No. Arzosah:  Mmm, pie.  ...What? You knew [i ost_uid0]somebody[/iost_uid0] was going to say it.FatMat426:  Um, what was the point of bringing in that [b ost_uid0]Mysterious Future Guy[/bost_uid0] again? :suspicious:NAH:  Whoops, forgot about him. Just one more scene or two... Zeke:  Hey! This is full of blank pages! Vreenak: It's a [b ost_uid0]FAAAAAAKE[/bost_uid0]!Mysterious Future Guy:  Ha! Now I will reveal myself! I am actually-- Katy Jane:  Porthos? Derek:  Silik? The Squid:  Please, [i ost_uid0]please[/iost_uid0] don't let it be a famous news anchor...taya17:  John Sheridan, is that you? MFG:  No no, wrong Future Guy. I'm actually a future Zeke, come back in time to nab that cookbook before my past self could get it so that I will have the recipes for myself! Zeke:  Think about what you just said. It makes no sense. So you make no sense. Which means I make no sense. And that does not make any sense whatsoever. [i ost_uid0](Celeste whimpers in pain and covers her ears.)[/iost_uid0]Future Zeke:  This is a fiver. It doesn't have to make sense. Besides, I wanted to discourage myself from going on any more wild gooseberry pie chases anyway. Standback:  Calling this long drivel a fiver is what makes no sense. Zeke:  Point. I'm convinced that NAH wrote this now. Kosst:  So do you know what the dark secret of the Pies of Zetar is? Future Zeke:  Nope. Kira:  Drat. [i ost_uid0](A sequel looms at Ludicrous Speed.)[/iost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs 
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