5MBSG: All Seasons
The Gun on Ice Planet Zero Marc Richard Not as cool as the new show, but still cool!
The Miniseries Kira Ron Moore singlehandedly saves science fiction. In four hours, he outdoes over 500 hours of Star Trek, and all other franchises while he's at it. Then he has breakfast.
Read the comic version!
33 Zeke OMG teh REALSIM! A brilliant start to a brilliant show!
Water Zeke The ship runs out of something! Voyager NEVER did that EVER! That's because they didn't have RDM!
Bastille Day Zeke We meet a mass-murdering terrorist, but get this -- he has a dark side!
Act of Contrition Zeke Starbuck has conflicts in the present, has sex in the past, and crashes in the future! My GOD this show takes chances with its storytelling style!
You Can't Go Home Again Zeke It's a ship -- a LIVING ship! That's so crazy! I can't believe it's never been done before! Never never never!
Litmus Zeke Moore has the courage to take a stand against witch-hunts! Go Ron!
Six Degrees of Separation Zeke Baltar finds out Six can manipulate him with more than just sex! And she can also do it with SEX!
Flesh and Bone Zeke A gritty, dark torture episode! This show pulls no punches EVER!
Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down Zeke A comical sex farce! This show pulls no punches EVER!
The Hand of God Zeke We win a big fight with the Cylons! Go humanity! And stuff happens on Caprica too, with that guy whose name I forget! Good thing the show puts his name on screen every time he appears, 'cause otherwise I'd never know it!
Colonial Day Zeke Roslin picks Baltar as her VP! Good thing he's not busy with other stuff! And don't look now, but I think Tigh's wife is up to something!
Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part 1 Zeke They find Kobol and it proves Roslin is the Emissary! Unprecedented!
Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part 2 Zeke The best episode EVER! All the characters fight each other! Total cliffhangerness! And Boomer meets a room full of naked copies of her! Why are they naked? (SLAP) That doesn't matter, you scum!
Scattered Zeke The fleet gets lost, but Gaeta finds them by networking the ship's computer systems and setting up firewalls to keep the Cylons from hacking them! I bet Star Trek would have resorted to technobabble!
Valley of Darkness Zeke Cylons invade the ship! Unprepared crew have to fight them with inadequate weapons! It's like Alien, only better because BSG does things better than other things!
Fragged Zeke BSG does Vietnam! And it's better because see above!
Resistance Zeke Oh boy, a mutiny! That'll show Tigh! Adama's so gonna kick his ass! And then Adama wakes up and he has a touching scene with Tigh! Awww!
The Farm Zeke Moore has the courage to take a stand against women being violated! Go Ron!
Home, Part 1 Zeke Wow, they're gonna find the Tomb of Athena! But who's going to kick their butts first: the Cylons, Adama, Zarek's guy, or Sharon? OH THE DRAMA! I'm on the edge of my seat!
Home, Part 2 Zeke Best episode EVER! Adama sees the light and lets everyone get away with everything! The fleet goes back to normal! But it's not a reset button because that's what CRAP shows do!
Final Cut Zeke Take that, nosy journalists! And take that, people who object to nosy journalists!
Flight of the Phoenix Zeke Can Sharon be trusted? Can she? CAN SHE? This is so much more complicated than all the other "can someone be trusted" stories! CAN SHE?!
Pegasus Zeke Another battlestar shows up -- and it has DARK SECRETS! Man, I never expected DARK SECRETS! I thought it would just be two ships meeting up!
Resurrection Ship, Part 1 Zeke Moore has the courage to take a stand against raping prisoners! Go Ron!
Resurrection Ship, Part 2 Zeke Best episode EVER! Both commanders wimp out of assassinating each other, and then Cain is killed anyway! Talk about convenient, only realistic and not convenient!
Epiphanies Zeke Roslin's cancer is magically cured, but it's not cheap at all! Honest! It's not like they're going to forget this and never use the baby's magic blood cells again!
Black Market Zeke Apollo sleeps with a hooker! Just goes to show that BSG is Sci-Fi Sexuality Dealt With! You can tell because there's lots of sex in it and it isn't Star Trek!
Scar Zeke The first episode where every line has "frak" in it! And there's SEX! This show just keeps getting better!
Sacrifice Zeke Billy gets his heart broken by Dee and then dies for her! I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see Dee have lots of sex with Apollo now!
The Captain's Hand Zeke Moore has the courage to take a stand against the horrible soulless evil Nazi pro-lifers! Go Ron!
Downloaded Zeke Wow, an episode starring Six and Boomer where they don't have sex with anybody! It's still good, though! And maybe there was sex after the credits!
Lay Down Your Burdens, Part 1 Zeke Oh boy oh boy oh boy, election! Who's gonna win? And omg cliffhanger!
Lay Down Your Burdens, Part 2 Zeke OH EM EFFING GEE! Best episode EVER!! An evil guy is elected (take that, Bush!) Fixing elections is declared wrong (take that, Bush!) Choosing not to fight anymore gets the humans royally screwed (take that, Bush!) And the show JUMPS FORWARD A YEAR! Holy GOD the originality! No other show would EVER take such risks! RDM IS GOD!
5MBSG Seasons: TOS Mini 1 2 All

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Five-Minute Battlestar Galactica is © Colin Hayman.