Five-Minute "The Illusion of Truth"
by Sa'ar Chasm
by Sa'ar Chasm
Ivanova: Things are quiet.|
Sheridan: Too quiet.
Ivanova: Will you relax? Since we promoted Zack to replace Garibaldi (spits), we've had no major incidents.
Sheridan: I really wish you'd stop saying things like that.
Zack: Break it up! Break it up! What's the problem here?
Franklin: Captain, that cargo of frozen telepaths destined to become the central cores of Shadow vessels that we intercepted with Bester's assistance...
Sheridan: How do I know you'll report the truth and not a load of propaganda?
Garibaldi: Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.
Lennier: You are in a turbolift. There is a hallway north of you.
Randall: Perhaps you'd care to enlighten our viewers, Captain, on why you threw away a promising career and turned your back on your home and everything you care about.
Randall: Hi there. Dan Randall, ISN. Care to grant an interview?
Sheridan: What's with the TV dinner, Commander?
Randall (anchoring): Good evening. Before we get to the main story, we present some filler, such as this dissident we haven't been torturing:
Randall: And now for something completely different. The first rule of journalism is, truth and falsehood are interconvertible.
Randall: And now we turn to our own xenophobopsychology expert. Professor, do you think our viewers should lash out randomly at those who look different from them?
Randall: Perhaps you'd care to enlighten our viewers, Captain, as to the nature of your sinister and evil plans?
Randall: And now, some damning accusations from a former friend and colleague of Captain Sheridan, presented here for your viewing pleasure.
Randall: I'm here in MedLab, where we've replaced these cryostasis units filled with unknown people with Folger's crystals. Let's see if Dr. Franklin notices.
Randall: Doctor, perhaps you'd care to tell us about what's in the cryounits.
Randall: This neatly illustrates the Second Rule of Journalism: evasion tends towards a maximum (but the interviews tend to fall apart after that).
Randall: And now, another comment from our expert. Professor, do you think our viewers should put on women's clothing and hang around in bars?
Randall: Finally, we come to the most sobering aspect of this whole story. It's clear that Captain Sheridan has had his mind poisoned against his people by alien brainwashers... we think. This is the Third Law of Journalism: you can't get the absolute truth. However, in the absence of any contradictory information, we're reasonably sure what we've shown you tonight is as close to the truth as we can get. Goodbye, and goodnight.
Delenn: Well, that was nice. The camera got my good angle. I don't remember him asking those questions, though. Do you, John? John?
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DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Babylonian Productions. I doubt they'll mind, but if they do, I'll just sic Alexander the Great on 'em.
All material © 2006, Steven Maguire.