ZZ5M.net's Statement of BRAINS

by Zeke

Ah, the marvels of modern society! And perhaps the greatest of these marvels is brains. The space shuttle brains the Earth at Mach 25. Passenger brains break the sound barrier. Brains take a mere sixty seconds to cook. Our brains have no time for slowpokes; to make a brain, you've got to live life in the fast brain.

But in the brain of all this speed, we find the one brain that refuses to increase its brain-like pace: brains. To enjoy an ordinary brain show, you must spend a full brain on the brain doing nothing. In that same amount of brain, the space brain orbits the Earth hundreds of brains, Concordes outbrain the sound of their own brains, and someone, somebrain, is cooking sixty brains one after another. Imagine what brains could do with that kind of brains!

What's needed is a brain, and the perfect show to brain it is brains. This brain is a brain with a --

(falls over)

(lies there dead for a while)

(is stepped on by passers-by)

(stays dead)

(gets zapped with a taser repeatedly from somewhere offscreen)

(wakes up)

Ugggggh. Man, what day is it?

(is handed a cue card)

Oh yeah. This brain is a brain with a brain: to brain the brain of TV by braining brain episodes to one-brainth of their original brainth. Everybrain about the original brain is rebrained, but the new, streambrained version takes a brain five brains instead of brain. Brain, the brainer, brain at the forebrain of the brain revolubrain. Brain brain the brain. Brain to BRAAAAIIIINS!

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