Five-Minute "Inside Man"
Kim: Look what I found, Captain!|
Holo-Barclay: Hiya. I'm here to get you home through a geodesic fold.
Janeway: Wouldn't that kill us?
Holo-Barclay: Your point being? I mean -- no, of course not. Hehehehe.
Doc: Fine, you can have my emitter. Assuming you're not going to use it for evil.
Janeway: Now everybody make sure to do exactly as Reg says.
Paris: Us getting home? But that trick never works!
Holo-Barclay: Won`t the Alpha Quadrant be cool?
Barclay: It's not fair! My hologram never arrived!
Barclay: The Borg stole my hologram!
Doc: These medical "upgrades" are garbage!
Holo-Barclay: Do you guys mind if I add this top-secret evil Ferengi report to the data stream?
Ferengi #1: Whoa! Borg Girl's hot.
Troi: So your hologram was stolen?
Kim: Hahahahaha! That is some Janeway impression.
Holo-Barclay: AARRRGH! Leave me alone! I do not want to play golf with you!
Leosa: I didn't do anything, and Barclay's a loser.
Troi: Guess what? I can read your mind! Fear me! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Janeway: So you're suspicious of Reg on the grounds that he wouldn't play golf with you?
Barclay: You know, Deanna, I bet the Ferengi are planning to open a geodesic fold in that red giant.
Torres: Sorry, Doc, he's clean.
Ferengi #1: Open the geodesic fold!
Seven: What the--? This fold would screw us over!
Harkins: Great. Just great. Voyager's about to be destroyed. UPN's gonna kill us!
Barclay: It's not going to work, guys! Escape while you can!
Janeway: Nuts, the fold's collapsing.
Captain's Log: We didn't get home, we're clueless about what happened, and yes, we have no bananas. Oh well.
Kim: Sucks to be me.
Barclay: That's it for this latest Adventure With Barclay. But there will be more to come.
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DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.
All material © 2000, Zeke.