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Zeke presents....

The Top 10 Signs That Your Girlfriend is Lana Lang

  1. You're keeping a big secret from her for reasons you can no longer remember
  2. Something in her smile, or possibly on her person, makes you weak in the knees
  3. She's the reincarnation of a Countess, and, uh, stones or something... I don't know, I wasn't really following that stuff
  4. She's distantly related to Ant-Man (not Dr. Pym, the one after)
  5. She's raised inobservance to an art form
  6. Like this one time, she saw you throw a tractor across a field and didn't suspect a thing
  7. What is she, blind?
  8. She has a tattoo that would make Chakotay blush, for more reasons than one
  9. Sooner or later she's every guy's lifelong desire
And the number one sign that your girlfriend is Lana Lang....
  1. She doesn't care how you do it, just saaaaaave her
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This list was originally published on December 25, 2005.

DISCLAIMER: Did you know Kristin Kreuk is half Dutch and half Indonesian Chinese? That's what I call exotic. It also explains the whole Michelle Branch "looking Asian but not actually being Asian" thing she's got going on. I bet this is the sort of diverse lineage people will start having a lot more often, what with the world always getting smaller. Jump in any time, Eddie, these are good topics.

All material © 2005, Colin Hayman.