This Just In
ISSUE #45 JUNE 10, 2005

Lofton to rap, G
by Derek Dean

HOLLYWOOD, CA - After getting scooped by Sci Fi Wire (we're still bitter over that) about Cirroc Lofton's intent to create a rap album, we at TJI decided the only way to redeem ourselves was to do one better. So we called up Cirroc Lofton to discuss the specifics of his album.

"It's going to be great," Lofton said of the upcoming album. "I have really been drawing on the experiences of Jake Sisko in making this album. I think it's going to give the album a fresh flavor and explore themes not commonly done in rap albums."

Lofton's album, called Divine Intervention, features a number of tracks that he expects to be big hits. "I'm thinking the biggest hit will be the first track on the album, Main Characters Don't Always Get Screentime, Yo. It deals with feelings of abandonment and being ignored. It's really powerful." Mr. Lofton went on to give us a sampling of the track, which we have reproduced here.

Get to the room for dressing,
Read the script, it's time for stressing,
Search the text,
Is my name next?
No, it's my lines they're suppressing.

When pointed out that this was, in fact, a limerick, Lofton was unfazed. "It's experimental. I'm really wanting to push the borders of rap music."

Other tracks on Lofton's album include My Roommate Wants to Sell All My Stuff for Profit, Dad's Gotta God-Complex, Wormhole (I Just Wanna Feel You Near Me), and Stayin' Behind (Occupation mix).

Lofton said that he first became interested in rap around the time he started working on Deep Space Nine.

"I was young," he explained. "And when you get into the big time, you start becoming very important. It started out harmless at first; I went to a party where some friends were playing rap, but before I knew it, I was hooked. From there things continued to spiral and spiral. I had to listen to rap to help me wake up in the morning, and I couldn't sleep without rap to help me at night." Sadly, rap even started affecting his performance on DS9. "There was one episode, 'Explorers', I think it was, when Avery said, 'Hammock Time', and I just couldn't stop myself from letting out a 'Yo!' I still regret that scene."

Fortunately, over time, Lofton has come to terms with rap. "Rap and I are now at a very good place emotionally. With this album, I think we've managed to work out our differences and find a common ground. I'm very excited to see this new dynamic between us."

News of Lofton's album created quite a stir among the other Deep Space Nine actors once we told them of it.

"Oh no, he's not!" shouted Avery Brooks. "No son of mine is going to make a rap album." When reminded that Lofton was not actually Brooks's son, Brooks said, "Good point. Never mind then."

Michael Dorn suggested that Lofton include Klingon in his album, but Lofton rejected the idea since Klingon would be both too intelligible and too vulgar for rap music.

Armin Shimerman was very supportive of Lofton's idea and had plenty of suggestions, none of which he would tell us without a 40% cut of Lofton's sales, although the exact amount was "negotiable."

"I thought he was going to be a novelist," stated actress Rosalind Chao.

Terry Farrell thought Lofton would do well to incorporate Trill themes into his album, even going so far as to propose a song, Join Wid Me. Lofton and Farrell are currently in discussions.

James Darren thought that perhaps he and Lofton could collaborate on an album that would be "a blend between Lounge and Rap." This reporter tried imagining such a combination and had to make a hasty retreat to the restroom.

Perhaps most interestingly, Lofton's announcement has inspired Academy-Award winner Louise Fletcher to create her own rap album. "I'm still in the very preliminary stages of designing the album," the actress confessed. "I currently only have the chorus of one song, The Emissary Is the Devil and Therefore Bad, but I'm going to persevere until the end." When asked when her album would hit the street, this reporter was greeted with a very familiar answer: "Soon."

Lofton's album, meanwhile, is on schedule for a September release. When asked how many albums he expected to sell since Star Trek and rap will probably never go together, Lofton simply said, "That's a wrap" and hung up on us. 

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Copyright 2005, Derek Dean. A product of This Just Inc. All rights reserved. This is the real disclaimer -- all those other disclaimers are just imitating.