Five-Minute Star Wars
Revenge of the Sith Marc Blurb forthcoming. In the future. In a galaxy far, far away.
Star Wars Kira A young, inexperienced hero. His cutesy companions. A dashing, nomadic adventurer. A growling, hairy bruiser. A beautiful princess. A wise, bearded mentor who sacrifices himself for the party. A dark, terrifying villain whose true face we never see. Swordfights. Good badly outnumbered by evil. A one-in-a-million victory. What other trilogy can boast all that?
The Empire Strikes Back Kira Obi-Wan drops by. Rebel troops fry. Leia catches Han's eye. There is no try. The Falcon's running dry. Threepio says "Oh my!" Lando's a spy, helping Vader on the sly. Who's that armoured guy? Body parts fly. Vader makes Luke cry. The end is nigh.... (In Return of the Jedi.)
Return of the Jedi Kira The droids get stuck doing Jabba-worky. Bad guys get thrown into the Sarlacc's maw Fett first. Yoda Jedies like a muppet. Luke finds out that Obi-Wan was Bending the truth. All good things come to an Endor, and find a few bad things there. The tension between Luke and Vader is Palpable. Han's team does some AT-STomping. Vader finally becomes a good manakin. If you got through this blurb alive, you just might survive the Ewoks too.
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Sci-Fivers and Five-Minute Movies are © Colin Hayman.