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Five-Minute "The Wounded"

by Marc Richard

Worf: I do not trust the Cardassians.
Troi: They're our allies now. We have to trust them.
Riker: Actually, the peace treaty only uses the phrase "put up with."

O'Brien: This is breakfast?
Keiko: Yup. Kelp buds, plankton loaf and sea berries.
O'Brien: Mind if I put some gagh on it to improve the taste?

Picard: Why did you fire on us like that?
Gul Macet: Why is one of your Starfleet captains hunting down and destroying our ships?
Picard: Don't evade my question.

Admiral: (over the comm) Your orders are to find Captain Maxwell and stop him.
Picard: And then report back to the Cardassians, eh? Good. I was worried I'd have to take three of them with me.
Admiral: Hey, what a great idea!

Riker: Welcome to the Enterprise.
Macet: Why is your transporter chief looking at us so strangely?
Riker: Maybe he's staring at those ridiculous football helmets of yours.
Macet: Rest assured that you will never see them again.

Daro: Would you care to go for a drink?
O'Brien: Only if I can pour it over your head.

Macet: Give us more information so that our ships can blow the Phoenix into a million pieces.
Picard: Out of the question. That's our job.

Keiko: This is supper?
O'Brien: Yup. Potato casserole with capers.
Keiko: Mind if I wash it down with some kanar?

O'Brien: I think that a lot of people still hate those sneaky Cardassian cutthroats because of the war.
Keiko: What about you?
O'Brien: Me? I like 'em fine.

Daro: Bartender, please bring me some kanar.
O'Brien: I find that hard to swallow.
Daro: It's not an easy drink to get used to.
O'Brien: I was talking about your politeness.

Worf: This Cardassian was caught breaking into our computer system.
Macet: Telle, your actions are disgraceful! How dare you get caught so easily?

Macet: We are trustworthy people. The Cardassian insignia symbolizes this.
Picard: What does the design represent?
Macet: It's our version of what you humans call a "happy face."

Maxwell: The Cardassians plan to start another war with us.
Picard: So you decided to start it first?
Maxwell: Is that a problem?

Picard: Mr. Worf, inform Starfleet that we've resolved the situation.
Data: Sir, the Phoenix is running away from us.
Picard: Mr. Worf, hold that thought.

Maxwell: What was that song you and Kayden used to sing all the time?
O'Brien: The one about the captain who goes nutso and gets busted down to waste disposal specialist?
Maxwell: No, the other one.

Picard: Maxwell's actions were wrong, but he was right about one thing.
Macet: Which is?
Picard: Your insignia does not represent a happy face.
(The Cardassians sail away at Ignominious Speed)


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This fiver was originally published on September 5, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2001, Marc Richard.