Five-Minute Pi

[Zeke]

As you know, I'm a mathematician, so you'd probably expect me to like Pi Day. And I do. But I have also dreaded Pi Day every year since something like 2008, and not just because being a mathematician on Pi Day is a bit like being Irish on St. Patrick's Day. No, I have another reason.

See, I'm also a fan of the movie Pi -- a weird indie film with which the director Darren Aronofsky first got himself noticed. And it occurred to me all those years ago that a fiver of that movie would be the perfect 5MV update for Pi Day. So I tried to write one, got a couple of scenes in... and I've been trying every year since then to do the rest in time for the occasion. (I've even known how I would do some later scenes, but I'm no good at writing out of order.) In fact, most years I've also tried to work on it before Pi Approximation Day, which is July 22nd in honour of 22/7.

But see the 22 in that fraction? This year is our 22nd in operation, and as soon as I realized that, I knew I had to finally finish the damn thing. And I did!

Please enjoy, at long last, a slice of Five-Minute π. It's irrationally delicious!

[NAHTMMM]

I was confused why nobody was on a raft until I realized I was thinking of a different movie.

This is some classic stuff, and then you end it with

Jenna: Max! Maaaax! Stop ignoring me!
I guess I'll have to change my name, though. Since I'm only average now.
Jenna: You're mean!
...Nah, too on-the-nose.

Can I find a pi-ish mechanism of making clear the above decalogy infringes nobody's copyright? (Wow, he did!)

Nice.