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Old 02-09-2004, 07:02 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Morpheus and Neo rejoin the others, who are heading for a building to leave the Matrix. As they climb the stairs, Neo sees a cat walk past -- twice. "Déjà vu," he remarks. That stops the others cold, because déjà vu, as Trinity explains, is usually the result of a glitch in the Matrix caused when the Agents change something. What they changed turns out to be the building -- its windows are now bricked up and its phone line is cut. Mouse is killed guarding the phone itself. As the Agents enter the building, Morpheus has an idea, and leads the team to the building's wetwall. Apoc hands Neo a gun, speaking his cool line ("I hope the Oracle gave you some good news.")

One to three scenes for this block, scene length being inversely proportional to how many we have. The synopsis is here. And now, new rules!

I've decided it's time to put an actual mechanism in place to make FBC go faster. So here's how it'll work for the next couple of blocks: for three days you guys propose possible scenes and work on them. On the fourth day, the vote is called (unless enough people feel we need more time). Each poster is allowed to vote for one scene not written by him. I may or may not vote, but I won't propose scenes; the other staffers can do as they will.

If this doesn't work out, we won't continue with it. But I've had enough complaints about the speed of this thing that it was time to get it on a schedule. We'll try this and see how it goes.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #2  
Old 02-09-2004, 08:21 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]*rummages through previous blocks, coughs and chokes on the dust*

[quoteost_uid0]I know an even better place for the Blue Screen of Death joke.

In the scene where there is a "glitch" in the matrix, which leads to Morpheus' capture. [/quoteost_uid0]

Now if only I could remember what the Blue Screen of Death joke was.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #3  
Old 02-09-2004, 09:27 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: Hey, I just saw the same black cat scurry by twice. Do you think someone's messing with the Matrix?
Morpheus: Nah, it's probably just a recursive temporal causality loop.
Neo: What in the world is [iost_uid0]*that*[/iost_uid0]?
Morpheus: I can't tell you. Temporal Prime Directive.
Neo: Whoa, deja vu!
Helicopter: Actually, Neo was right. For once.
Morpheus: Aw, nuts.[/colorost_uid0]
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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
  #4  
Old 02-09-2004, 10:45 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Now if only I could remember what the Blue Screen of Death joke was.[/quoteost_uid0]
Ziv the Remarkable Procrastinator to the rescue! It was in block 10:
[quoteost_uid0]Neo: We're in a computer?
Morpheus: Is that so hard to believe? Watch what happens when I try to do two things at once (White space turns blue)
Neo: 200 years in the future and you're *still* using Windows ME? [/quoteost_uid0]

Over here, it maybe can work as something like this:

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Hey, isn't that the cat that was here a minute ago?
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] Uh-oh. The cat's taking to long to load. There's a glitch in Matrix.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What's that mea-- Hey, why'd everything turn blue?
[bost_uid0]Matrix:[/bost_uid0] Fatal exception at 1337-a743f07r42.pirate.Nebuchadnezzer.link?id=Morpheus. Please reboot universe. Have a nice day.[/colorost_uid0]

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Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
  #5  
Old 02-09-2004, 10:50 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ohh, I like it! :lol:[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 02-09-2004, 10:53 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]^^Stupid dial-up. I hope Morpheus had already reached a save point when that happened [/colorost_uid0]
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Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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Old 02-09-2004, 11:14 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] That's funny. I thought I saw the same cat twice.
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Perhaps they'd like to join our mountaineering expidition.

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Whoa - deja vu...
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] What was that?
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Whoa - deja vu...
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] What was that?

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Whoa - that cat looked exactly the same as the cat that just walked by...
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] Uh-oh. Red alert, everybody - fire at will!
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] ...except for the big white stripe...

[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Guarding, guarding, lalalalala...
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] Red alert, Mouse - Neo saw two cats. I repeat, [iost_uid0]two cats.[/iost_uid0]
[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Oh no! The door's walled shut!
[bost_uid0]Heavily Armed Agents:[/bost_uid0] The door's on this side, stupid.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
  #8  
Old 02-10-2004, 01:10 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]^[iost_uid0]"THERE . . . ARE . . . TWO . . . CATS!"[/iost_uid0]



Mouse: Oh, no! The windows are all blocked up!
Morpheus: Next time, let's set up in a building that [iost_uid0]isn't[/iost_uid0] abandoned and condemned.[/colorost_uid0]
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Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
  #9  
Old 02-10-2004, 03:39 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: Whoa, cool, this really [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] like a video game! When you leave a room and re-enter it, creatures like that cat respawn!
Trinity: Uh, that never happens unless the Agents change something in the Matrix.
Neo: You mean there are Gameshark codes too?![/colorost_uid0]
  #10  
Old 02-10-2004, 03:44 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: Hey! That cat is lagging seriously on this matrix server.
Trinity: He must be logged in using a router.

Mouse: This is my big scene.
*gets the big machine guns out*
Mouse: DIE! DIE! DIE! GAK!
Solder: Heh, the lagging cat got em good.

Agent Smith: They are on the 47th floor
Agent Brown: The elevator is broke.
Agent Smith: Find someone to morph into on that floor.
Agent Brown: There isnt anyone.
Agent Smith: Who designed this building anyway?
Agent Brown: You did.[/colorost_uid0]
  #11  
Old 02-10-2004, 07:09 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Why are there two cats?
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] There is no cat.

[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Hey, there was a door here last time I played this level...
[bost_uid0]SWAT Team:[/bost_uid0] That's what you get for camping.
[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Just wait until I respawn, and I'll kick your rear twelve different flavours of hell!
[bost_uid0]SWAT Team:[/bost_uid0] This is Last Man Standing, remember?
[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Oh no! Anyone but Bruce Willis! GAK!

[bost_uid0]Agent Smith:[/bost_uid0] It is a day so long in coming I am uncertain how to celebrate it.
[bost_uid0]Agent Brown:[/bost_uid0] Perhaps...a quiet chuckle.
[bost_uid0]Agent Smith: [/bost_uid0] Very well. Let us...chuckle.

(Apoc hands Neo a pistol.)
[bost_uid0]Apoc:[/bost_uid0] If you shoot yourself in the foot and cry like a baby, they might ignore you.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] I don't know what's worse - that you're suggesting it or that I'm considering it.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 02-10-2004, 11:16 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Weird - that same cat just walked by twice.
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] Oh, no! That means they're making changes to the Matrix!
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Like... adding in another cat?

[quoteost_uid0]Agent Smith: It is a day so long in coming I am uncertain how to celebrate it.
Agent Brown: Perhaps...a quiet chuckle.
Agent Smith: Very well. Let us...chuckle.[/quoteost_uid0]

I liked this one a lot. [/colorost_uid0]

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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
  #13  
Old 02-10-2004, 05:25 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Me too. I'm sure it's meant as a reference that I don't recognize, but it's just so goofy...



Neo: If you see a feline walk past you, and then you see the same feline do it again, is that a sign you're about to experience a catastrophe?
Morpheus: It is if you're being hunted cat-and-mouse. Speaking of which, I want to make a phone call. Get me Mouse.
Mouse: The windows are sealed--GAK!
Agents: Yes, they are.
Morpheus: Drat, too late. Mouse just went catatonic.[/colorost_uid0]
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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
  #14  
Old 02-10-2004, 06:49 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]It's a Transformers reference. More specifically, two Quintessons utter it in Five Faces of Darkness.

I didn't have more than a fuzzy memory of finding that hilarious, but luckily, there are good quote lists for that cartoon.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'?
Justin: It's kind of a limited skill.
Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges.
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Old 02-10-2004, 08:02 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Gatac"][bost_uid0]Agent Smith:[/bost_uid0] It is a day so long in coming I am uncertain how to celebrate it.
[bost_uid0]Agent Brown:[/bost_uid0] Perhaps...a quiet chuckle.
[bost_uid0]Agent Smith: [/bost_uid0] Very well. Let us...chuckle.[/quoteost_uid0]
I liked this one a lot, too.

This is sort of a revision of Standback'sÂ…

[bost_uid0]Neo[/bost_uid0]: Hey, a black cat! Hey, a black cat!
[bost_uid0]Trinity[/bost_uid0]: Oh no! They're making changes to the Matrix!
[bost_uid0]Neo[/bost_uid0]: Like adding another cat? That's a lot of back luckÂ…
[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] GAK!
[bost_uid0]Neo[/bost_uid0]: See?[/colorost_uid0]

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  #16  
Old 02-10-2004, 09:26 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]This refers to The Internet Oracle (nee The Usenet Oracle), and may be familiar to about three people. I meant to suggest it last scene, and completely forgot.

Morpheus (or whoever): I hope the Oracle gave you some good news.
Neo: I owe the Oracle a happy meal. She said it had better be singing and dancing.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 02-10-2004, 10:31 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Revised:

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Hey, an instant replay! Did I miss an action scene?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] The Matrix does not obey the laws of causality as you know them.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] So the action scene comes now?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I hate it when you're right.

[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Who tuned this wall in?
[bost_uid0]SWAT Guy:[/bost_uid0] Sleep. And lay down your guns.
[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] You can have my guns if you pry them out of my cold, dead hands!
[bost_uid0]SWAT Guy:[/bost_uid0] Your proposal...is acceptable.

(Leave the chuckle, since everyone seems to like it.)

(Apoc hands Neo a pistol.)
[bost_uid0]Apoc:[/bost_uid0] And remember, two bucks late fee, no exceptions.[/colorost_uid0]
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'?
Justin: It's kind of a limited skill.
Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges.
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  #18  
Old 02-11-2004, 04:55 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]One-liners for Mouse:

[bost_uid0]Mouse:[/bost_uid0] Omigod! It's a [iost_uid0]brick wall![/iost_uid0]

or:

[iost_uid0]Mouse's Log: Well, I got killed, which kinda sucks. But hey, I finally got to fire those cool machine guns. Go me![/iost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
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Old 02-11-2004, 05:01 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Agents: Surrender and die.
Mouse: We'll see about that, sugar.
Agents: How do you plan to defend yourself from bullets with a katana?

Reference, anyone? (Doesn't quite work, since the character being referenced is female and our Mouse is male)[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 02-11-2004, 06:11 PM
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[quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Reference, anyone?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]ReBoot?[/colorost_uid0]
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[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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