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  #41  
Old 11-30-2003, 06:23 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Morpheus: There were five before you.
Neo: What happened to them?
Morpheus: The first one went back in time in a phone booth, the second on blew up in a bus, the third one was replaced, the fourth one lost his memory...
Neo: Why do I get the feeling I had something to do them?[/colorost_uid0]
  #42  
Old 11-30-2003, 07:28 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]^ NeoMatrix's scene is so far my favorite of the "five before you" scene, but I'm kind of leaning away from doing one at all since it wasn't actually in the movie.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #43  
Old 11-30-2003, 08:47 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]the name of the game is "Five Minute"[/quoteost_uid0]
Yah I kinda thought the block was too long, but I was In a risk taking mood.

Anyway I tried to edit it down a bit:

Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it.
Neo: Why, Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last time I opened one it had a balding agent on the other side
Neo: Oh my God you’re crazy, What did the Oracle say to you to make you so crazy crazyman?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish.
Spoon Boy: She told me there is no spoon.
Trinity: She told me that I—
Neo: Quiet, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon? So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.

How’s that? better? worse? tell me.

P.S.
[quoteost_uid0]multiples *g*[/quoteost_uid0]
Huh?[/colorost_uid0]

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  #44  
Old 11-30-2003, 08:57 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I think it's better. It's certainly nice to have all those jokes right there for easy reference. Looks like between this block and the last, we may need the standard version plus a handful of Alternate-Universe versions of this fiver, just to get all the good stuff in. [/colorost_uid0]
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  #45  
Old 11-30-2003, 10:08 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="g-blatt"]P.S.
[quoteost_uid0]multiples *g*[/quoteost_uid0]
Huh?[/quoteost_uid0]
From the Submissions FAQ:[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q: Why did you sound all mad in your reply?[/bost_uid0]

Most likely because, somewhere in your fiver, you used more than one exclamation mark. This is my greatest pet peeve. Other grammatical errors I can stand, but I will not be on your side if you overdo the exclamation marks. I've killed men for less. DON'T DO IT.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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  #46  
Old 12-01-2003, 07:29 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]My take one the "use the forks" line:

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] "There is no spoon"? What kind of deep meaning is that supposed to have?
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] Use the forks, Neo.

Ech. I'm trying to get the wording right. "You must learn to use the forks." "You must learn to use the power of the forks." "May the forks be with you." (That one, I'm thinking, would be good for the elevator scene.)[/colorost_uid0]
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  #47  
Old 12-01-2003, 01:59 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hmm… how 'bout:

"The forks will be with you… Always."[/colorost_uid0]
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  #48  
Old 12-01-2003, 07:37 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]^ *snirk* I can't resist that.

[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] You must realize the truth... there is no spoon.
[bost_uid0]Matrix:[/bost_uid0] Are there forks?
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] Yes, Neo. The forks will be with you... always.

...but seriously now. (Relatively speaking, anyways.)

It's a shame the scene about the five Ones isn't in the movie, because I find that variation on the MP "sank into the swamp" joke hilarious. But, it's not, so there.

I actually like the version of the first scene where Neo wants to hear about the boy's spoon, but (a) it seems odd to follow that with a Spoon Boy scene and (b) it also seems odd for Neo to want to listen to the boy but not the others. I'd pick something along the lines of:

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] So what did the Oracle tell you?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I forgot most of it. I was eating the cookies she made.
[bost_uid0]Cypher:[/bost_uid0] She told me not to eat steak. Stupid Oracle.
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] She said that I--
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

I also like the "knifey-spooney" joke... which is why I used it in a fiver, so I find it a little old. [/colorost_uid0]
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  #49  
Old 12-01-2003, 07:57 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0](a) it seems odd to follow that with a Spoon Boy scene[/quoteost_uid0]

I actually think it works, all things considered. Look at them together:

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] So what did the Oracle tell you?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. 'Cause, you see, when you scramble it all up -- well, anyway, I've got high hopes for you.
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] She told me there is no spoon.
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] She said that I--
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Shush, Trin. Can't you see the boy's telling me about his spoon?

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] So what's the deal with the spoon?
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] There is no spoon.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Are there forks?
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] Of course. The forks surround us and penetrate us.
They bind the galaxy together. Use the forks, Neo.

I think it works.

[quoteost_uid0](b) it also seems odd for Neo to want to listen to the boy but not the others.[/quoteost_uid0]

That would be the point, I believe. [/colorost_uid0]

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  #50  
Old 12-01-2003, 08:20 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hm, that does work. However, I like the first SW quote better than the second one.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #51  
Old 12-01-2003, 09:00 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Use the Force" just seems a more memorable line - and thus easier to identify in its present form. But that's just me.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
  #52  
Old 12-01-2003, 09:29 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I agree -- it's the first part that seems out of place. However, using "Use the forks" by itself is less likely to stand out as a SW ref.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #53  
Old 12-01-2003, 10:51 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]However, using "Use the forks" by itself is less likely to stand out as a SW ref.[/quoteost_uid0]

Simpsons reference, maybe.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #54  
Old 12-02-2003, 12:29 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Speaking of that episode, our school is doing a production of
[iost_uid0]Guys and Dolls[/iost_uid0] this Spring ::crosses fingers for part of Nathan Detroit::

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What did the Oracle tell you?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] She told me I'm the Super Ohm. See why I like anagrams?
[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] She said that I--
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Hey, my favorite noodle house!

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Hey kid, got any noodles to go with that spoon?
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] There is no spoon.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Are there noodles?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Enough with the noodles already!
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Oh, quit being such a wet noodle -- anyway, are they're forks? They go better with noodles.
[bost_uid0]Boy:[/bost_uid0] Yes, the forks will be with you, always.

I know the noodle joke didn't fly before, but I couldn't resist

I'm in a basic consensus with everyone else about the 5 Neos. And of course Kira has the market on all the good Simpsons jokes [/colorost_uid0]

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  #55  
Old 12-02-2003, 12:29 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like these, but the monty python versions had both me and my brother (who never laughs) in stitches.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 12-02-2003, 04:05 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Isn’t "use the forks" was a space balls reference?
anyway just for fun
*start's doing stupid movie trailer voice-over voice*
Read g-blatt's The Matrix: 18 blocks, UN-CUT, now with 30% more Star Wars references then ever!
*stops doing stuped movie trailer voice-over voice*

Morpheus: Neo, I only can show you the door, you must walk through it.
Neo: Why, Are you afraid of doors?
Morpheus: Yes, the last one I opened had a balding agent on the other side.
Neo: Ya like that’ll ever happen again. So Morpey What did the Oracle tell you?
Morpheus: She told me that I shall stop slapping people with fish. And that I would find THE FIVE.
Neo: you mean THE ONE.
Morpheus: Um… er… um… oh crap...
*waves hand*
Morpheus: You diden't hear that! btw have you met Spoon boy?
Neo: Why do they call you spoon boy?
Spoon Boy: I like Spoons.
Neo: So Spoon boy can I have a spoon?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon. It’s simply an unconfused astroprojection of underling metaphors representing the power of will and Dillbert.
Neo: I like shiny things…
Spoon Boy: Just bend the stupid spoon already, Kid!
Neo: How?
Spoon Boy: Use the forks, dummy.
Neo: The Forks?
Spoon boy: The Forks, they surround us and penetrate us with there sharp pointy-ness.
Neo: Tell me, do they hurt?
Spoon boy: That would ruin the surprise…[/colorost_uid0]

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  #57  
Old 12-02-2003, 04:09 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="dsbs"]I like these, but the monty python versions had both me and my brother (who never laughs) in stitches.[/quoteost_uid0]
I like them too, but since that scene wasn't actually in the movie, it doesn't really fit.

I propose we remember it for if we ever get to [iost_uid0]Reloaded[/iost_uid0] -- it would work for the Neo/Architect scene where he explains about the previous Ones.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #58  
Old 12-02-2003, 04:30 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]^
Gonna hold you to that...assuming my memory lasts three or four years.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #59  
Old 12-02-2003, 05:35 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: What did the Oracle tell you?
Trinity: *thinks* ummmm
Neo: Did you forget?
Trinity: Oh yeah! The Oracle told me I would forget what she told me

Boy: The Oracle told me there are many forks in the road of life.
Neo: Why only forks? I just want a spoon for my mush.
Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: What is going on? Why is there a shortage of spoons?
Boy: Don't ask me, ask the Oracle.

---------------------------------------------------------
Boy: What is your quest?
Neo: To seek the Holy Spoon
Boy: There is no spoon
Neo: Then I will settle for a hole

(The hole is a play on the word Holy. Also, I am referencing the hole that Agent Smith and Neo end up in at the end of Revolutions.)[/colorost_uid0]
  #60  
Old 12-02-2003, 05:54 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Boy: You want the truth?
Neo: I want the truth!
Boy: You can't handle the truth!
Neo: Your right, I will just go over here and eat my mush with a spoon
Boy: There is no Spoon
Neo: Noooooooo![/colorost_uid0]
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