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  #21  
Old 03-23-2004, 07:10 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Cypher: Great job pulling me back, Tank. Allow me to say "thank you."
Tank: Can you say it without the gun? GA!K!

Cypher: Hey Trinity, are you really -- YANK! (kills Apoc) -- better off with this airhead, saving our -- YANK! (kills Switch) -- crappy real lives, than living with me in fantasyland?
Trinity: *over the phone* Sorry, couldn't hear you from all the interuptions.
Tank: Hey, Cypher! Allow me to say--"you're welcome!"
Cypher: Lethal irony sucks. GAK!
Tank: Heh. The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: *over the phone*Maybe I should try that sometime.

Trinity: Hello? Anyone there?
Operator: The person who were trying to call has been disconected. Please deposit 25 cents and try again.
Trinity: Crap, no pockets.
*Phone Rings*
Neo: Saved by the bell[/colorost_uid0]

  #22  
Old 03-23-2004, 07:32 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]wow, this one really is "by committee"[/colorost_uid0]
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  #23  
Old 03-23-2004, 09:06 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like it, but these lines should stay:

[quoteost_uid0]Tank: Heh. The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: Maybe I should try that sometime.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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  #24  
Old 03-23-2004, 10:58 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like Zeke's suggestion, but maybe we could break it up into seperate lines.

[bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: Hey Trinity, are you really -- *[iost_uid0]YANK![/iost_uid0]*
[bost_uid0]Apoc[/bost_uid0]: GAK!
[bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: -- better off with this airhead, saving our -- *[iost_uid0]YANK![/iost_uid0]*
[bost_uid0]Switch[/bost_uid0]: GAK!
[bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: -- crappy real lives, than living with me in fantasyland?

Hmm... a bit too long maybe.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #25  
Old 03-23-2004, 11:11 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Probably why it wasn't broken up.



If you want to get them in, you could try something like

Cypher: *ZAP!*--Hey Trinity, are you really --*YANK!*--better off with this airhead (etc)
Dozer, Apoc, and Switch: GAK![/colorost_uid0]
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  #26  
Old 03-24-2004, 02:02 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Honestly, I like Gatac's GAK, Psuedo-GAK, GAK, GAK scene. I think it would be slightly better to have my version with Cypher saying "Something isn't right here" rather than Neo, but either way it's a good joke.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #27  
Old 03-24-2004, 02:38 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]First off, I love
[quoteost_uid0]Tank: The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: Perhaps I should try that sometime.[/quoteost_uid0]

but I think it would read better if the second line were:
[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Perhaps I should try that.[/quoteost_uid0]
only because time used so many times sounds a bit off. I'm being incredibly stupidly picky, I'm sure, but I just think it would make it perfect (I REALLY love that line)

Also
[quoteost_uid0]Cypher: It's gonna take a miracle to save you now, Neo!
Neo: I have just four words for you, Cypher: "I'm in the sequels".
Tank: And I've got two words for you--Die, sucka!
Cypher: One word: GAK!
[/quoteost_uid0]
is good

so I guess without adding/subtracting anything else, I would suggest:
[quoteost_uid0]
Cypher: Great job pulling me back, Tank. Allow me to say "thank you."
Tank: Can you say it without the gun?

Cypher: Hey Trinity, are you really better off with this airhead, saving our crappy real lives, than living with me in fantasyland?
Trinity: Compared to you, I'd be better off with a famished cannibal.
Tank: Hey, Cypher! Â Allow me to say--"you're welcome!"
Cypher: Lethal irony sucks. Â GAK!
Tank: Heh. Â The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: Maybe I should try that.
[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

  #28  
Old 03-24-2004, 10:39 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I second that, Derek - Gatac's multi-GAK one was really great, and by far my favorite of the proferred suggestions.

IMHO, the Cypher-spooking-out should be centered in the third block, with him talking to Trinity.

[bost_uid0]Cypher (over the phone):[/bost_uid0] Trin, how can you prefer that airhead over a hot backstabbing serial killer like me?
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] [iost_uid0](sigh)[/iost_uid0] I get that one a lot, too.
[bost_uid0]Cypher (over the phone):[/bost_uid0] Y'see, Neo obviously isn't the One, unless I'm about to be killed by a convenient plot contri-GAK!
[bost_uid0]Tank (over the gun):[/bost_uid0] Fake GAK. Gets 'em every time.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Maybe I should try that sometime.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #29  
Old 03-24-2004, 01:02 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like that block, Standback. Especially Tank's (over the gun) direction.

Just to clarify stage direction though. It goes outside the colon and its only used once per person per scene, so it would be:
[bost_uid0]Cypher:[/bost_uid0] (over the phone) Trin, how can you prefer that airhead over a hot backstabbing serial killer like me?
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] (sigh) I get that one a lot, too.
[bost_uid0]Cypher:[/bost_uid0] Y'see, Neo obviously isn't the One, unless I'm about to be killed by a convenient plot contri-GAK!
[bost_uid0]Tank:[/bost_uid0] (over the gun) Fake GAK. Gets 'em every time.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Maybe I should try that sometime.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #30  
Old 03-24-2004, 01:35 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]::airily:: Mere technicalities, my dear friend.

Ahem.

In this particular case, I'd fudge and keep the "(over the phone) twice, because otherwise the "(over the gun)" direction doesn't work as well. Rule of three - to know it is to love it.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #31  
Old 03-24-2004, 01:47 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ooo, I really like this one. And yes, keep both cases of "(over the phone)".[/colorost_uid0]
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  #32  
Old 03-24-2004, 05:05 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]There's also a shorter, cleaner, subtler way to refer to all those murders -- change Trinity's comeback. Â Thus:

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: Hey Trinity, are you really better off with this airhead, saving our crappy real lives, than living with me in fantasyland?
[bost_uid0]Trinity[/bost_uid0]: (over the phone) Sorry, but traitorous serial murderers turn me off.
[bost_uid0]Tank[/bost_uid0]: Hey, Cypher! Â Allow me to say--"you're welcome!"
[bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: Lethal irony sucks. Â GAK!
[bost_uid0]Tank[/bost_uid0]: Heh. Â The fake GAK gets them every time.
[bost_uid0]Neo[/bost_uid0]: (over the phone) Maybe I should try that sometime.[/quoteost_uid0]

Note also that the fake GAK joke doesn't work if the previous block lacks a fake GAK, as some of the more recently suggested ones do. Â -- Pteryx[/colorost_uid0]

  #33  
Old 03-24-2004, 05:20 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hrm... come to think of it, if the previous isn't enough, there's also the option of doing this to the first block:

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: Great job pulling me back, Tank. Allow me to say "thank you."
[bost_uid0]Dozer, Apoc, and Switch[/bost_uid0]: GAK!
[bost_uid0]Tank[/bost_uid0]: Can you say it without the gun? Â "GAK!"
[bost_uid0]Cypher[/bost_uid0]: Hm, something's wrong here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

  #34  
Old 03-25-2004, 10:24 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]This just occurred to me... I don't like it as much as the other suggestions, but it's funny enough to share:

[bost_uid0]Tank:[/bost_uid0] Take THAT, you murdering bastard!
[bost_uid0]Cypher:[/bost_uid0] Wha-- Not dead? But you're not in the seque-GAK![/colorost_uid0]
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  #35  
Old 03-26-2004, 02:46 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I dunno... I still prefer Derek's suggestion.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #36  
Old 03-27-2004, 12:28 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I'm also with Derek, and not just because it happens to have one of my blocks

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]
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  #37  
Old 03-27-2004, 10:09 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I think we can start consolidating votes here. I vote in favor of Gatac's:

[quoteost_uid0]Dozer: GAK!
Tank: Pseudo-GAK!
Switch: GAK!
Apoc: GAK!
Cypher: Hm, something's wrong here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.[/quoteost_uid0]

No vote from me yet for either the preceding block (Cypher getting aboard - they were all pretty good) or Cypher's death (because I like my own).[/colorost_uid0]
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  #38  
Old 03-28-2004, 04:02 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]While I do find Gatac's block amusing, let's not forget the shortness criterion. (...says Pteryx, as she starts fiving something so long that it'll inevitibly be more of a "fifteener".) -- Pteryx[/colorost_uid0]
  #39  
Old 03-28-2004, 07:13 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]My vote goes to...

Cypher: Great job pulling me back, Tank. Allow me to say "thank you."
Tank: Can you say it without the gun? "GAK!"

Cypher: Hey Trinity, are you really better off with this airhead, saving our crappy real lives, than living with me in fantasyland?
Trinity: Compared to you, I'd be better off with a famished cannibal.
Tank: Hey, Cypher! Allow me to say--"you're welcome!"
Cypher: Lethal irony sucks. GAK!
Tank: Heh. The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: Maybe I should try that.

The Cypher line would be good with or without the GAK!s[/colorost_uid0]
  #40  
Old 03-28-2004, 10:22 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I'd go with neomatrix's block (the one just before this post)[/colorost_uid0]
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