Five-Second Picard S2

[Zeke]

With the third and final season of Star Trek: Picard just about over, time to properly repent of the second one! As with the first season, I'm deploying our rarely-used "five-second" concept to do it all at once. (I've actually been working on this since S3 started, but S2 was just such a pile of nothing that a scene a week was all I could manage...)

Here it is: Five-Second Picard, Season 2. (And if you missed it, here's the first one.) Don't leave before the credits roll!

[Wowbagger]

Narek: What about my storyli--
Zeke: Did I stutter?

(What? Obviously I celebrated Season 2 by rewatching Season 1.)

Picard: Guinan, I --
Past Guinan: RACIST!
Picard: What?
Guinan: Racist! Sexist! Privileged patriarchal cis hetero old white man!
Picard: You, uh... seem different.
Guinan: Body-shamer!

The perfect 5-second version.

Tallinn: Let's just get out of here. (to Baltar) Nice meeting you. Don't mistake any preganglionic fibers for postganglionic nerves.

Maurice Picard: I think you're confusing me with someone else.

This is very good.

Tallinn: Don't worry, I'm at peace. I hear beautiful music... it sounds like "mmm whatcha say"...

Picard: I don't care how well it fits the episode title, I refuse to believe we just made that joke in 2023.

I'm so danged proud of you.

[Nate the Great]

*waves*

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Wowbagger

I'm so danged proud of you.

Couldn't resist. I have the ultimate "Dear Sister" street cred, because I was an OC fan, so I had seen the shocking season-two ending that the sketch was based on. (Nowadays, even people who know the sketch mostly don't know there was a serious source.)

Incidentally, "Hide and Seek" is a banger in two halves, of which only the second is used for "mmm whatcha say" purposes. The first half was used at the start of that OC episode over a funeral montage, so it's a fascinating case of the same song being used twice in one episode, but without it being obvious that it IS the same one.

[voyager0929]

Zeke, will you be reviewing season 3 soon? Did you think it was good..Some Yreknis better rthan none so I hope everyone hear can PLEASE SIGN AND SHARE THIS https://www.change.org/p/let-terry-m...hows-terrytrek

[Zeke]

Yep, I'm gonna do a Five-Second S3 to finish the set. Could be tomorrow or could take a bit; these five-seconders can actually be harder than fivers to "crack".

As far as the quality of this season, I agree that it was a step up, but I still had pretty big problems with it -- and I'm definitely not interested in a series about this Seven-in-name-only, Raffi, and Jack, who should be serving like a 5000-year prison term. So I'm not gonna sign, but that doesn't mean I begrudge anyone who does! IMO, as of 2005, Trek is now in a new phase where there's no more meaningful "canon", just various people's ideas of what could come next. We can let a thousand Treks bloom. (And that's what's happening whether I want it to or not, so why not make peace with it?)

I think your chances are good. PIC S3 did well with almost everybody, and Paramount announced a Seven spinoff ages ago and is probably glad Matalas saved them the trouble of coming up with a premise. This is an easy winner for them if they feel like making it.

[NAHTMMM]

Picard's reception has been pretty whiplash great-and-awful in the circle I run in, but I still haven't watched anything past the premiere so I have no opinion except it sounds hilariously, well, both great and awful for TNG fans.

All the funniest bits have been quoted, so I guess my work is done here?