The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > 5MV Talk

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-06-2004, 01:26 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default This Just In election special!

Quote:
Zeke wins landslide election victory

It was announced today that Zeke, creator of Five-Minute Voyager, has won another term in office as Webmaster after a landslide victory. This will come as a great surprise to many, however, as it seems that no-one knew that Webmaster was an elected position, this august publication included. But what will this mean for the membership of 5MV? And just how did this all come about? In this TJI election special, this reporter aims to find out.

The results of this election must certainly please Zeke – results show that not only did he get 100% of the vote, but that there was a 100% voter turnout too, which this reporter can assure you is unprecedented in election history. To find out how he felt about this, and how he managed to achieve such spectacular results, we spoke to the Webmaster himself, Zeke, and his campaign manager (and long-time lawyer), Jeice O. Garricker.

This reporter: Now, the question everyone’s asking is, why the secrecy? Why was no-one told that there was an election?
Zeke: The first part of that question is easy. Basically, I saw what was happening with the US elections, the media circus, the backbiting and sniping, not to mention the massive amounts of money spent campaigning. So I decided it would be much easier if no-one knew about the election apart from those that really needed to.
Garricker: And really, you can’t argue with the figures. A hundred percent turnout is a fantastic number. And considering that we spent just twenty dollars on the campaign, it represents a cost-effectiveness that any politician would kill for.
TR: Well, that can’t be argued with I guess. Who was it you were running against though? That’s one detail so far I’ve not seen anywhere.
G: Running against? Don’t be silly, Zeke wasn’t running against anyone. That’s one of the reasons we kept it secret. If no-one knows there’s an election, or even that the Webmastership is an elected position, then no-one can run against you!
TR: In that case, why have an election in the first place?
Z: It’s important that the populace of 5MV know that democracy has a place in the running of the board.
TR: I don’t see how this election was in any way democratic. If no-one knew, then who voted?
Z: Of course it’s democratic! One man, one vote, that’s the basis of the democratic system.
G: And in this case, Zeke was the man with the vote.
TR: Suddenly everything becomes a lot clearer. Thank you for your time, gentlemen.
Z: Our pleasure. Jeice, release the hounds.

After a brisk jog from Zeke’s palatial estate, I went to seek the opinions of some of the 5MV members.

“I think this whole thing is a travesty!” yelled Zeke’s evil clone, Zuke, after jumping out of a trash can as this reporter was walking past. “It’s just the kind of sneaky underhand thing I’d do. But he did it first, damn him! Now get the hell out of my alley!”

“I don’t see how things are going to be any different. I mean, I’m perfectly happy with Zeke’s leadership as it is, so why should this change anything?” asked Nan. “Also, get the hell out of my broom closet!”

“It’s a little disappointing to be honest,” relative newcomer to 5MV Chancellor Valium remarked. “I bet if I’d run against Zeke, I could have won! Just imagine that, me, Webmaster of Five-Minute Voyager…” At this point Valium started laughing maniacally, and after twenty minutes of waiting for him to stop this reporter got fed up and left.

“I most certainly approve of his methods,” evil Dutch woman catalina_marina informed me. “It was just done so wonderfully evilly! There should have been more math though.”

"Can't talk - busy Photoshopping!" was the only response gotten from Alexia. This reporter did however find the picture of a fluffly rabbit with Zeke's head attached (encaptioned "Zekey-buns") that she was working on to be exceptionally hilarious.

Sometime co-Webmaster Kira was asked her thoughts on the election, but she just smiled knowingly and went on torturing some poor soul who had made the mistake of calling her “Colonel”.

From what this reporter can tell, its going to be more or less business as usual at Five-Minute Voyager. Why did Zeke have an election? Perhaps he was bored. Perhaps the voices in his head told him to. Who knows? One thing is sure though – Zeke’s policy of 52% more pie for 5MVers is one that it’s hard for anyone to argue with.
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-06-2004, 02:17 PM
Alexia's Avatar
Alexia Alexia is offline
La la la, I can't hear you
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The island not in the sun
Posts: 1,267
Send a message via ICQ to Alexia Send a message via AIM to Alexia Send a message via MSN to Alexia Send a message via Yahoo to Alexia
Default

:lol: LMAO

*wonders if she will ever cameo in a TJI, even a non-official one* :wink:
__________________
Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD
Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-06-2004, 02:46 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

But I did include you!



__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-06-2004, 04:05 PM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

That's fantastic! I like my part! HA! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (note the five exclamation marks - a sign of utter insanity, and having spent too much time around the opera. Oh, and melodrama.)
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-06-2004, 04:16 PM
Alexia's Avatar
Alexia Alexia is offline
La la la, I can't hear you
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The island not in the sun
Posts: 1,267
Send a message via ICQ to Alexia Send a message via AIM to Alexia Send a message via MSN to Alexia Send a message via Yahoo to Alexia
Default

LMAO :mrgreen: *has sudden urge to make that picture* :twisted:
__________________
Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD
Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-06-2004, 06:37 PM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

*still laughing at cameo*
But you didn't mention my archbishop-ness :roll: :twisted:
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-06-2004, 08:38 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Ack! Valium, that banner of yours is nearly 200k - waaay too big. I'e made a smallified version, but I'd appreciate if you could host it yourself (Photobucket or Imageshack are good places).

__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-06-2004, 08:45 PM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

I am hosting it....at geocities....hey! stop laughing! they're free and relatively easy to usem which is why I use them! Only reason.
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-07-2004, 11:39 AM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Well, I was refering to the smallified version. 200k is really much much to large a file size. And trust me when I say Imageshack or Photobucket are better for hosting pictures (and both free, too).
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-07-2004, 12:29 PM
Alexia's Avatar
Alexia Alexia is offline
La la la, I can't hear you
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The island not in the sun
Posts: 1,267
Send a message via ICQ to Alexia Send a message via AIM to Alexia Send a message via MSN to Alexia Send a message via Yahoo to Alexia
Default

You mean it was actually BIGGER than it is now? *dies* :wink:
__________________
Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD
Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 11-07-2004, 01:07 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Well, I meant file-size wise, not actual size.
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-07-2004, 02:53 PM
Alexia's Avatar
Alexia Alexia is offline
La la la, I can't hear you
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The island not in the sun
Posts: 1,267
Send a message via ICQ to Alexia Send a message via AIM to Alexia Send a message via MSN to Alexia Send a message via Yahoo to Alexia
Default

DOH! I knew that... :wink:

Still it is rather huge both ways :mrgreen: :wink:
__________________
Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD
Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-07-2004, 03:00 PM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

Has no-one read my TJI?
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-07-2004, 05:49 PM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default

Let me get this straight, Valium. You waited a grand total of 80 minutes to conclude that no one was reading your TJI -- on the weekend, when the forum is never exactly hopping -- and complained about it in someone else's thread? AND you're still using that huge banner file when PHJ has given you a smaller version?
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 11-07-2004, 05:53 PM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

:roll: Isn't it obvious :roll:
YES!
I'm impatient and hypocritical :wink: .
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-07-2004, 07:56 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Right! No more caffiene for you, young man! :P
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 11-07-2004, 11:42 PM
MaverickZer0's Avatar
MaverickZer0 MaverickZer0 is offline
Suuuuuper genius
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: On Beach Street, in a Dimensional Area
Posts: 745
Send a message via AIM to MaverickZer0 Send a message via MSN to MaverickZer0 Send a message via Yahoo to MaverickZer0
Default

Oh well, no chance of any TJI quotes.

*shrug*

But if a Capcom one is ever done...
__________________
Sig v8.2.2

No, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to go and do it anyway.

*pokes avatar* Made by a good LJ friend. Thanks Ani!

Dark Blues: I'm going to kill you!
Enzan: Not if I kill me first!
Dark Blues: You...are aware my goal is accomplished either way, right?
Enzan: ...Yeah...
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 11-08-2004, 10:53 AM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

Incidentally, Pointy, I could be appointing Bishops..."soon", I was wondering who was interested. just PM me with a request application, whyyou should get the position, and a suggestion for how you'd do in the position. Then there'll be a vote, and then I'll sod the whole thing and appoint someone randomly from the remaining few people .
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 11-25-2004, 02:39 PM
richardson richardson is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Bridge of the USS Kep Salu
Posts: 476
Send a message via MSN to richardson
Default

Awww, dagnabit, my evil plan to get fiverinium by means of becoming the webmaster of FMV is gonna have to wait until next election. *goes off to torture an innocent bunny just for the heck of it.*
__________________
CO, USS Kep Salu

Evil Emperor of the Black Isles.......

Yodck: The perfect Anti-Sith butt-whooping, going medival Jedi Master! (Complete with nerve pinches, and strange vulcan sayings spoken in yoda tounge.)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AllianceCommand/
The site of strange things.

I reject your reality and subsititute my own!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 11-25-2004, 04:29 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Next election? Who says there's going to be a next election? And even if there is, what makes you sure that Zeke won't do the exact same thing again? :wink:
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.