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  #141  
Old 02-11-2004, 10:46 PM
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Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Ways To Tell The Borg Have Assimilated Humour:

10: The drone assimilating you has a gumball machine implant on its arm.
9: Bumper sticker on the cube that says "Honk if you're into leather."
8: Cutting-Beam-Of-DOOM replaced by a can opener on a stick.
7: Well-choreographed operations now become well-choreographed slapstick routines.
6: Every "Resistance is futile" pronouncement followed by a laugh track.
5: Seven wakes screaming from a dream of a drone wearing pink fuzzy bunny ears.
4: The once monotone Voice of the Collective now sounds like Jim Carrey on hyronalin.
3: Drone personal weapon implants now fire cream pies.
2: After every weapons discharge, the Voice says "Mmm, pie."
1: The assimilation of a species now involves reducing it to 1/12th of its initial population.

Top Ten Over-used 5MV or Forum Cliches[/colorost_uid0]

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  #142  
Old 02-11-2004, 10:49 PM
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[quoteost_uid0="Katy Jane"][color=#000000ost_uid0]1. The same they do every night Pinky, try to assimilate the universe![/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]As an old Pinky and the Brain fan I can't tell you hard hard I laughed at this :lol:[/colorost_uid0]
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  #143  
Old 02-11-2004, 11:55 PM
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PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Over-used 5MV or Forum Cliches

10. "ZUUUUUUKE!"
9. List Item Number Nine Section *Under construction - for the last eight months*
8. This Just In - This reporter discovers that this reporter isn't real!
7. It's midges, NOT midgets!
6. Some poor chap called John gets killed every other post.
5. *THWAPS list item number five with the Hammer of Smiting*
4. "You must bring us a punnery!"
3. Every pie other pie word pie has pie to pie be pie the pie word pie pie.
2. Statement encapsulating list item number two in a humerous fashion.

1. I'll have the number one reason up soon, I promise.

Top Ten Ways in which Five-Minute [iost_uid0]Dune[/iost_uid0] Would Mangle the Plot of the Original[/colorost_uid0]
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  #144  
Old 02-12-2004, 12:59 AM
Artanis Artanis is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Ways in which Five-Minute Dune Would Mangle the Plot of the Original

Note: I've read Dune twice and ya know... I just don't like it... Then I got to the book where his son turns into a worm and well...

10. Not so much pedophelia
9. It would actually be pointed out that Paul inexplicably changes his mind about that entire Emporer thing.
8. The Worms would talk.
7. People wouldn't take 200 pages to make a decision
6. Out of necessity, long drawn out conversations about nothing would not be as long
5. There wouldn't be three hundred sequels, each one weirder than the next.
4. The symbolism stick which we are being hit with wouldn't be as prominent.
3. In five minutes there isn't enough time to describe the deaths of many, many characters in great detail.
2. Paul would be LESS whiny.
1.The author wouldn't go on drugs halfway through writing it.

And because I'm a newbie...

Top Ten Evil Secrets of the Forums[/colorost_uid0]
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  #145  
Old 02-12-2004, 01:37 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]There may well [iost_uid0]be[/iost_uid0] a Five-Minute Dune, btw. If so, it'll be by me.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #146  
Old 02-12-2004, 01:57 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Evil Secrets of the Forums


10. Clicking on certain permutations of smilies triggers the opening of one's hard drive and the extension of a cartoonish "Hammer of Newbie Smiting" which promptly whacks you over the head a dozen times. One such combination is :eyeroll: :swear: :zzz: --OW! OW! OW! I didn't mean i--OW!...





...ooooh. Okay, I'm back.

9. We have Chili Cookoffs every other Friday

8. Zuke is really Zeke from an Alternate Evil Universe Of Great Evilness

7. NAHTMMM is really NAHTMMM from an Alternate Funky Universe of Great Weirdness

6. When you rearrange the forums' titles in a certain way and read the results backward, you find a subliminal message commanding you to pledge allegiance to coconuts. Or possibly crocodiles. We're not quite sure yet.

5. Certain forumgoers are currently working on a Secret Plan of Evil involving world dominance via pie missile launchers. They don't want it to be publicly known, though, and they're pretty violent about making sure it isn't, so I wouldn't let on I knew about it if I were you...

[iost_uid0]*knock*[/iost_uid0]
Whoops, that's the door. Hold on a minute. [iost_uid0]*Leaves*
*from far away*[/iost_uid0] Oh, hi there, funny you came by just now, er, what's that in your...erm...aahhh! No! Nooo, not the pecan pi--[iost_uid0]*SPLAT!*[/iost_uid0] Arggghh! :dead:

4. The above was [iost_uid0]not[/iost_uid0] a dramatization.

3. Doctors have proven that users can become incurably addicted to these fora in as few as (pie)*log("soon") days

2. There are people who actually know how many days the above refers to, but they're too meanie to tell the rest of us :crying:

1. [this rubbish has been deleted by the FBI, CIA, AFL-CIO, [bost_uid0]AND[/bost_uid0] the Temporal Police. It was lies, all lies, we tell you! Seriously!]



(This list has inspired me to write a TJI. A crazy TJI, with a brilliant concept but probably meh execution. Be afraid. )


Next:
Top Ten Results of a Star Trek - Looney Tunes Crossover[/colorost_uid0]
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  #147  
Old 02-12-2004, 02:49 AM
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Katy Jane Katy Jane is offline
Or is it KJHTMMM now?
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]:lol: The truth has finaly been reveiled [imgost_uid0]http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v43/katyjane/emoticons/notworthy.gif[/imgost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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  #148  
Old 02-12-2004, 05:37 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Standback"]5. Growing senile, stealing items 7 and 1 from Scooter's list[/quoteost_uid0]
Actually, #7 was mine. [/colorost_uid0]

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  #149  
Old 02-12-2004, 09:02 AM
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catalina_marina catalina_marina is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]2. There are people who actually know how many days the above refers to, but they're too meanie to tell the rest of us[/quoteost_uid0]
[uost_uid0]+[/uost_uid0]47. Or 4.7.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium.
catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't.
Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way.
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  #150  
Old 02-12-2004, 09:32 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Top Ten Results of a Star Trek - Looney Tunes Crossover[/bost_uid0]

10. Mayhem. Lots and lots of mayhem.
9. "Be wewy, wewy, quiet! I'm hunting Womulans!"
8. When consoles explode, the redshirt doesn't die, but just turns into a smoking, blinking black crisp.
7. As a matter of fact, no matter how many times you crush, explode or drop the same redshirt down the side of thousand foot cliffs, he's always back, whole and perfect, in the very next scene.
6. The Enterprise bears an overlarge ACME logo on its nacelles.
5. Paris starts addressing the Doctor with "What's up, Doc?" and chews on carrots.
4. Alternate ending to Endgame: When being pursued by the Borg, Janeway uses the deflector dish to paint a wormhole on the side of a sun. Voyager goes through it and ends up in the Alpha Quadrant, whilst the pursing Borg ship gets fried to the crisp in the sun's core.
3. B'Elanna has a bad habit of turning into a whirling tornado and destroying every inch of Engineering when she's in a bad mood.
2. When Kirk punches someone, he doesn't fall over, but instead develops a series of hairline cracks, then crashes to the ground in pieces.

And the #1 result of a Star Trek - Looney Tunes Crossover:

1. Garibaldi becomes a die-hard Trekkie and converts the entire crew of B5 to his new fandom. They then lose the Shadow War spectacularly because everyone was too tied up arguing the fine points of DS9 plots.



And because my ego is having way too much fun today:
Top Ten Changes That Would Be Made If 17 Took Over The World[/colorost_uid0]
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  #151  
Old 02-12-2004, 10:52 AM
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Standback Standback is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]9. "Be wewy, wewy, quiet! I'm hunting Womulans!"[/quoteost_uid0]
LOL

And redshirts [iost_uid0]not[/iost_uid0] dying? Talk about cartoons reversing the laws of physics...[/colorost_uid0]
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  #152  
Old 02-12-2004, 11:13 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Changes That Would Be Made If 17 Took Over The World

10. There would be 47 countries each with 47 provinces.
9. Minbari would be the capital of the world.
8.There would be no such thing as "Buffyverse"
7. She would be married to John.
6. Every man would be named John.
5. Every man would look like John.
3. The only 'ship would be John/Delenn.
2. It would be a "Top-17 List".
1. She would be the Prime Minbari of Everything

And next...
Top Ten Trek(any Trek) Episodes Opium Would Be in

(hehehe)[/colorost_uid0]

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  #153  
Old 02-12-2004, 11:34 AM
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catalina_marina catalina_marina is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]7. She would be married to John.[/quoteost_uid0]
Are you sure that's not supposed to be "She would be married to Delenn"?[/colorost_uid0]
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Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium.
catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't.
Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way.
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  #154  
Old 02-12-2004, 12:06 PM
taya17 taya17 is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Bwaahahaha. Cat, you're right. You know me too well. [/colorost_uid0]
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  #155  
Old 02-12-2004, 12:08 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]There's no way of knowing someone "too well"

Information is power. [/colorost_uid0]
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What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix

"Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike

Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium.
catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't.
Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way.
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  #156  
Old 02-12-2004, 12:47 PM
taya17 taya17 is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]And mis-information is antipower. Put information and misinformation together, and you'll get massive amounts of energy for seemingly nothing.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #157  
Old 02-12-2004, 01:19 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I just noticed there are two lists dedicated to the Top Hat Man...beat that, John Sheridan! And Delenn. And...um. yah.

BTW, the current topic is: Top Ten Trek(any Trek) Episodes Opium Would Be in[/colorost_uid0]
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  #158  
Old 02-12-2004, 02:12 PM
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Zeke Zeke is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Who [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] the Top Hat Man?[/colorost_uid0]
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[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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  #159  
Old 02-12-2004, 02:22 PM
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Kristina Kristina is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Moving back a bit...
This is just based on your profile, Opium, but here's a shot at it, in no particular order:

The Top Ten Trek Episodes Opium Would Be In

10. TOS "The Way to Eden"
9. TOS "The Conscience of the King"
8. TOS "The Day of the Dove"
7. TNG "The Emissary"
6. TNG "Qpid"
5. TNG "Journey's End"
4. DS9 "The Storyteller"
3. DS9 "Return to Grace"
2. VOY "Heroes and Demons"
1. VOY "The Gift"

I just did this so I can suggest the topic for the next Top Ten List -- and because I was beaten to the Looney Tune one, but the entry that made it was better than mine, so it really doesn't matter...

Next Top Ten list:
Top Ten Rejected Pickup Lines of Captain Kirk[/colorost_uid0]
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  #160  
Old 02-12-2004, 06:11 PM
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PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
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[quoteost_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000ost_uid0]There may well [iost_uid0]be[/iost_uid0] a Five-Minute Dune, btw. Â If so, it'll be by me.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I've probably asked this before, but if so then I've forgotten the answer.

Lynch version or SFC mini-series? Or both?[/colorost_uid0]
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