Block 11 - Because I believe the search is over

[Zeke]

[color=#000000:post_uid0]Neo is back in his bunk, recovering from what he's learned. Morpheus comes in to apologize: he knew this would be particularly difficult for Neo, as he's older than the maximum "safe" age for liberating prisoners of the Matrix. (People older than this have been destroyed by the sheer shock.) Morpheus then explains about a man in the first days of the Matrix who was able to manipulate it to his will. When he died, the Oracle had predicted that he would someday return and that his second coming, now referred to as "The One", would bring about the salvation of mankind. Morpheus and those like him have searched for the One ever since; he did what he did (freeing Neo) because he believes the search is over. On that note, Morpheus leaves Neo, telling him to get some rest for his training.

Again, just one scene. Synopsis here.[/color:post_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Morpheus: im sorry
Neo: For what?
Morpheus: You were too old to free your mind
Neo: At least Im tall enough to get on the ride[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Someone Other Than Morpheus: Too old, he is. Train him, we will not.
Morpheus: Then I will train him myself.
SOTM: Hold your horses, Liam Neeson.

-------

Morpheus: The One will come again. He is the Saviour of mankind.
Neo: Next you'll tell me that he can walk on air and bring people back to life.
Morpheus: Ix-nay on the oilers-spay.
Neo: I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
Morpheus: Just some bread and fish.

OK, I think I've bludgeoned that one to death.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Drat, it's probably too late to get in a "You must unlearn what you have learned" joke, isn't it?

[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: Neo, you are The One. A hundred years ago, the human race was enslaved and imprisoned within the Matrix by the machines. Yet even in the darkness of despair, there was a ray of light. For The One walked among us in those days, freeing many and bringing hope to all by means of unsurpassed hacking and martial arts skills.
Neo: What are you talking about? I don't remember what I did a decade ago, let alone a century. Where did I live? What was my name?
Morpheus: One hundred years ago, you went by the secret identity "Jet Li".
Neo: What makes you think I'm the same person as this Jet Li?
Morpheus: Jet Li was known as "The One". Your screen name, "Neo", can be anagrammed to spell "One".
Neo: Whoa, that [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] weird.*[/quoteost_uid0]

[*Brian Jacques fans insert your own optional Matthias joke somewhere around here ]



[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: It's "One", not "The One", now is it? Maybe I'm One of Nine, or Juan, or one year old. I don't [iost_uid0]wanna[/iost_uid0] be the saviour of the world! It's too much work!
Morpheus: Did I mention that one of the fringe benefits of being The One is learning how to use really cool martial arts abilities and stunning filming techniques to your advantage in fight scenes?
Neo: ...Yeah, I'm The One, I'm The One, the one they call The One![/quoteost_uid0]
or, for an alternate ending,
[quoteost_uid0]Neo: ...Yeah, I'm The One, I'm The One, the one they call Jet Li's son!
Morpheus: That was disturbing.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Trip]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Morpheus: ... and so the Oracle predicted the coming of the One.
One: Wait... why do you trust this "Oracle" so much?
Morpheus: She predicted that I liked red M&Ms!
Neo: Really?
Morpheus: Well... only after I ripped open an M&M package she had lying in her kitchen, ate all the other colors, and prayed to the red ones.

I think that this scene should be short. Even if it isn't mine.

- Trip[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Just for Taya:

Morpheus: He was the One That Was. You are the One That Is.
Neo: And the One That Will Be?
Morpheus: Stuck in traffic.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: The One will come again. He is the Saviour of mankind.
Neo: Next you'll tell me that he can walk on air and bring people back to life.
Morpheus: Ix-nay on the oilers-spay.
Neo: I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
Morpheus: Just some bread and fish.[/quoteost_uid0]

Oh, I liked that one.

[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.[/quoteost_uid0]

And that...

Let's think...

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I think you are the One, Neo.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What? Why me?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Well, Bruce Willis wouldn't take the part.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Neo, I think you are the One.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] The One what?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Ummm... you know. The One. Just general One-ness. Like, don't let anybody clone you or anything.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We have a rule - we don't unplug anyone who can't act.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] So why am I the exception?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Because, Neo... I believe you are the It.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] The It?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] It was said that one day, the It would be reborn. And he would run around and tag all the Agents. With machine guns, if neccessary.

I am definitely going to have to think of something cleverer than that. Something that's actually funny would be favorite.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Why are you so sure I'm The One?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.
[/quoteost_uid0]

And a running gag is born.

[quoteost_uid0]I am definitely going to have to think of something cleverer than that. Something that's actually funny would be favorite.[/quoteost_uid0]

Good to see that I'm not the only one who suffers from this syndrome.

[quoteost_uid0]Neo: ...Yeah, I'm The One, I'm The One, the one they call Jet Li's son!
[/quoteost_uid0]

Johnny Rivers surrenders. *snicker* Morpheus is right, that is disturbing.

[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: She predicted that I liked red M&Ms!
[/quoteost_uid0]

I think the M&Ms have been done.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][/quoteost_uid0]
I like Trip's and Sa'ar's scenes (especially the last line in Trip's).

Also these of Standback's:


Morpheus: Neo, I think you are the One.
Neo: The One what?
Morpheus: Ummm... you know. The One. Just general One-ness.

Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.


This last suggestion is, well, just knee-jerk funny. You can't help but chuckle. [/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like the Neo/One joke, but I think it needs to be more subtle. I suggest the following, with a dig at Keanu/Neo's intelligence thrown in for good measure.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] ... and then the Oracle predicted the return of the One. That's you, Neo.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Why are you so sure I'm the One?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I like anagrams. I hope I didn't overload your brain with all this.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Don't worry, it happens all the time.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"]Morpheus: He was the One That Was. You are the One That Is.
Neo: And the One That Will Be?
Morpheus: Stuck in traffic.[/quoteost_uid0]
Gah!

I'm sure you mean "Stuck in a coal-tar pit".

[quoteost_uid0]
Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79.
[/quoteost_uid0]

*howls* I like this one.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Morpheus: He was the One That Was. You are the One That Is.
Neo: And the One That Will Be?
Trinity: The One that gets me coffee


Morpheus: I think you are the One, Neo.
Neo: What? Why me?
Morpheus: Well, the Oracle told me the One couldn't act.[/colorost_uid0]

[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Is this scene really necessary? Seriously, it's short, it's backstory, it's not entirely relevant. I would think this scene could be omitted from the fiver.

That said, here's my thoughts. Play with them as you will.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] After the first One left, the Oracle predicted there'd be another One. That's you, Neo.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Wouldn't that make me the Two?

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] ...and that's why you're the Savior of all mankind.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Is that really true?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] It is until [iost_uid0]Reloaded[/iost_uid0].

[iost_uid0](^ I don't really like this one, but [/iost_uid0]Reloaded[iost_uid0] really changed the meaning of this scene.)[/iost_uid0]

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I know your upset about being freed. We try not to free people after a certain age.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] It's not that. It's....
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] What?
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] American Idol. I [iost_uid0]loved[/iost_uid0] that show.

(or, for brevity, you could just have Neo say "It's not that. It's (sob) American Idol. I [iost_uid0]loved[/iost_uid0] tht show.")[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Derek"]Is this scene really necessary? Seriously, it's short, it's backstory, it's not entirely relevant. I would think this scene could be omitted from the fiver.[/quoteost_uid0]
Whether or not this scene was necessary before, we've gotten enough funny suggestions that I think it'd be a shame to leave all of them out. We should be able to keep it short, though.

I like Kira's alteration, but Morpheus's first sentence in his second line could use a bit of work, I think. A little [iost_uid0]too[/iost_uid0] subtle, you might say.
Maybe something like
[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: ... and then the Oracle predicted the return of the One. That's you, Neo.
Neo: Why are you so sure I'm the One?
Morpheus: No significant reason, I just happen to like anagrams. I hope I didn't overload your brain with all this.
Neo: Don't worry, it happens all the time.[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]I am definitely going to have to think of something cleverer than that. Something that's actually funny would be favorite. [/quoteost_uid0]


Good to see that I'm not the only one who suffers from this syndrome.[/quoteost_uid0]

I don't think you've got much to worry about on that count.

[quoteost_uid0]I think the M&Ms have been done. [/quoteost_uid0]

Well, they're not really a running gag, since we never used them a second time. It could become one, but I don't think this is the spot for it.

[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm the One?
Morpheus: I like anagrams. [/quoteost_uid0]

I don't know. I don't think that has quite the same punch as NAHTMMM's "Because Neo is The One with the O at the end."

Hmmm...

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] I think you are the One, Neo.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] The "One"?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Yes. The last one was the L, the next one will be the Seven, and so on, until we put together the entire password and gain full admin powers.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] We think you're the reincarnation of the One, Reloaded into the Matrix in order to lead us in our Revolution against the Machines.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What, me, do all that? Can we at least put it off until the sequels?

Not fond of these, but if someone can spruce them up...

BTW - I recommend we try to avoid references to the content of the sequels (e.g. Derek's "It is until [iost_uid0]Reloaded[/iost_uid0]), mainly because I won't get to see Reloaded until Sunday. But also, there will be spoilers (I believe there may exist a few single-celled organisms out there who are [iost_uid0]not[/iost_uid0] intending to watch the sequels), and also, they won't be evenly spread out - we went through the first ten blocks not knowing much about Reloaded, and we may see Revolution before this thing is done.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Well... seeing as all has been silent for three days...

My vote goes to Sa'ar's:

[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: The One will come again. He is the Saviour of mankind.
Neo: Next you'll tell me that he can walk on air and bring people back to life.
Morpheus: Ix-nay on the oilers-spay.
Neo: I'm hungry. Got anything to eat?
Morpheus: Just some bread and fish.[/quoteost_uid0]

And to my own:

[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Why are you so sure I'm The One?
Morpheus: Because "Neo" is "One" with the O at the end.
Neo: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm switching my screen name to CaptPicard79. [/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]My vote goes to Sa'ar's...And to my own
[/quoteost_uid0]

And I return the favour.[/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I still don't like the screen name joke, and I think "I like anagrams" is way more subtle than the other way. And I really like Derek's "the Two" joke.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Kira"]I think "I like anagrams" is way more subtle than the other way.[/quoteost_uid0]
Although I'm rather pleased with myself for managing to come up with such a succinct phrase, I do think Kira's alteration was closer to being on the right track. But I still don't like "I like anagrams". It's too...unremarkable, too dry. I think something more elaborate is needed, even if it's just the addition of one word. Like

[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: I really like anagrams.[/quoteost_uid0]
or
[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: I feel that anagrams contain great spiritual significance.[/quoteost_uid0]
or
[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: Anagrams are a hobby of mine.[/quoteost_uid0]

Oooh, that last one in particular might have some potential...[/colorost_uid0]