December 24

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]

First off, here's Marc's new fiver: "Sins of the Father," a pivotal NG episode. Â Enjoy!


Second, the spiel I was planning to give you guys yesterday. Â Basically, 5MV is going to be moving in the near future. Â After three years of excellent service, Owen has decided to stop hosting sites; he doesn't enjoy it as much anymore, we've had a lot of trouble with the server, and it's costing him more money all the time. Â So 3Sygma is on the way out. Â Fortunately, it's not going to be in any way abrupt -- and the way I plan to do this, you readers should barely notice when the actual move occurs.


See, for years I've been tossing around the idea of getting 5MV a domain name. Â Sites tend to do that a lot earlier than we have, and I've decided it's about time. Â So very shortly I'm going to be posting a notice that we've now got the domain "five-minute.com" or some such. Â At that point both the 3Sygma URLs and the new ones will work, so you'll be able to use either, and I'll recommend that you switch your bookmarks and links to the latter. Â Then, when it's time to move the server, I'll just have five-minute.com point to the new server instead. Â If you're using the new addresses, you won't see any change. Â If you're still using 3Sygma, you'll get a redirect page, and you can change your bookmark when you get tired of seeing it.


I'll recap all this when we get the domain name. Â For now, just be aware that the move will be happening before long. Â If you're wondering where the new server will be, I don't know for certain yet, but like Buffy, I have the best plan ever. Â I'll let you know what it is if it works.


We will update tomorrow, by the way. Â I'd put up our Christmas banner but it's apparently been damaged somehow. Â I suspect Lithuanian spies.[/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Excellent 5ER [bost_uid0]MARC![/bost_uid0] I really like the [bost_uid0]Star Wars[/bost_uid0] references,
and it was also cool to read a parody of an episode that
had a lot of Klingons in it. (They're much funnier on a page
than they are on TV.)
:lol:
[bost_uid0]Zeke,[/bost_uid0] too bad about the Christmas banner. I hope you
get it fixed soon. (The real [bost_uid0]soon,[/bost_uid0] not the phony one.)
And I can't wait for this place to get it's own domain
name. Maybe you'll be able to host a few extra sites
yrSelf someday. I'm thinking that you'll make it related
to Angel, but it'd be nice if Farscape was involved too.
(Listen to me ramble about a place that hasn't even
been created yet.)

Happy Holidays to all you people who're getting to
see snow this year. There hasn't been any down here
in Florida since the Ice Age.[/colorost_uid0]

[Celeste]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Merry Christmas everyone! Kinda raining here.. and my week hasn't been that great, but that's holidays, right? hehe. Hope everyone is fairing well, good to be back, and great fiver Marc. [/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Picard: Discommendation? What does that mean?
Worf: There is no greater shame in Klingon society. The closest human equivalent is being forced to relinquish the key to the executive washroom.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Good one, Marc.

Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays, everyone! [/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]
Worf: Scan is now complete, SIR!
Kurn: Very well done, Mr. Worf. Now please go have a nice long tea break.
Worf: I am not thirsty, SIR!
Kurn: I insist -- have some tea anyway. Served in a delicate little china cup.
Worf: If those are your orders, I will do so, SIR!
Kurn: And remember to extend your pinkie when you take a sip. [/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]
Duras: Worf's father gave the Romulans the access codes to Khitomer's shields. He was a traitor!
Worf: Nonsense! What man in his right mind would bring about an attack in which he himself would be killed?
Duras: Allow me to rephrase my accusation. He was a stupid traitor! [/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]
Duras: If I cannot turn you, then perhaps my sisters will. Here -- look at their photograph!
Kurn: Nice try...but it takes more than a little cleavage to distract a Kling--GAK!
Duras: Heheheh. [/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]
Worf: I shall retire to my quarters and channel my anger into suitable displacement activities. Do I have your permission to borrow some of Commander La Forge's tools?
Picard: By all means. May I drop by from time to time to look in on your new hobby?
Worf: Be sure to knock first.[/quoteost_uid0]

:lol: Â :lol:

A fantastic fiver, Marc! Klingons are [iost_uid0]really[/iost_uid0] fun to spoof,

And I simply love the phrase "suitable displacement activities". When my computer crashes next time (like today - its little Christmas present to me), I think I`ll apply suitable displacement activities on it...

Oh, the "outer darkness" reference in the last scene sounds very cool, and familiar, but I can`t remember where have I heard it originally...

And of course... Merry Christmas to everyone, [/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Quotation from News page, reading,

[quoteost_uid0]Hmmm.... link for today, link for today.... oo, I know. Go read "This Is the Title of This Story, Which Is Also Found Several Times in the Story Itself." [/quoteost_uid0]

Implication that there may be uncanny similarities between current server trouble and yesteryear's forum upheaval.

Expression of subdued-yet-persistent hope that Topic Title may yet be resurrected.

Expression of atheological-yet-sincere hope that the reader will have a Merry Christmas. Expression of strong-yet-unlikely hope that previous espression will distract the reader wishing to bodily injure the expressor of the first hopeful expression.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Oh, the "outer darkness" reference in the last scene sounds very cool, and familiar, but I can`t remember where have I heard it originally...[/quoteost_uid0]

I think it's a Silmarillion reference. I have it on good authority (from the horse's mouth, as it were) that Marc will be off travelling for the next day or two, but with any luck I'll get to ask him in person.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quoteost_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Implication that there may be uncanny similarities between current server trouble and yesteryear's forum upheaval.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]What kind of similarities?[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][Today's update doesn't have new content, but it does explain some things, so I thought I'd stick it here.]



A very merry Christmas to all 5MV readers! Â I hope you're all enjoying your holiday festivities, whatever they may be.


I would have liked to mark the occasion with a fiver or two (I even had one in mind). Â But this has just been a rotten month for both me and the site. Â Our server went down three times, the forums for even longer; the dent this made in our readership may take months to repair. Â And my life has been the property of a pair of punishing projects. Â Today was the first day in three weeks that I've had time to breathe, let alone write fivers. Â (By all accounts, Kira's even busier.) Â There was just no way I could have prepared anything.


But I'm happy to say that should now change. Â My projects are finally done with, and I'm itching to get back to work at 5MV. Â I'm going to try to keep things as interesting as possible for you guys for the rest of the Christmas season. Â You'll definitely see [iost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0] fivers -- my Best Plan Ever for the server move can't happen till I'm caught up on S3, for reasons I may or may not end up explaining. Â I'm also going to get some guest fivers out there and continue the v3.1 creeping redesign. Â And don't be surprised if there's a [iost_uid0]big[/iost_uid0] event before the twelve days are up.


So happy holidays from us at 5MV to you reading 5MV. Â We may not have had a Christmas present for you on the day... but I think you'll be pretty happy with what you get [iost_uid0]after[/iost_uid0] it.[/colorost_uid0]

[Marc]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]>> Picard: Discommendation? What does that mean?
Worf: There is no greater shame in Klingon society. The closest human equivalent is being forced to relinquish the key to the
executive washroom.

Good one, Marc. <<

Thanks. This joke originated with a friend a full thirteen years ago, when we were watching this episode in its first run. Worf doesn't pronounce his "discommendation" line very clearly in the episode; it sounds more like "discommodation". When he said this, my friend remarked, "Discommodation? What is he doing, getting thrown out of the executive washroom?" (As in "dis" + "commode" [toilet] + "ation.") I couldn't resist using that line in the fiver, since I always think of it whenever I hear Worf talking about this subject.

As an aside: Some places take washroom stratification *very* seriously. I've visited the Canadian Forces Fleet School several times, and its residence has *six* types of public washrooms on the ground floor: male and female washrooms for commissioned officers, male and female washrooms for chiefs and petty officers, and male and female washrooms for enlisted sailors. Woe betide anyone who should walk into the wrong facility -- and I'm not just talking about getting the gender right. Civilian guests like myself, by the way, get to use the officer's washroom, and eat in the officer's section of the mess hall, which is a minor thrill.

>> Duras: If I cannot turn you, then perhaps my sisters will. Here -- look at their photograph!
Kurn: Nice try...but it takes more than a little cleavage to distract a Kling--GAK!
Duras: Heheheh. <<

Funny coincidence on this one: I wrote this gag as a Return of the Jedi reference, connecting Leia to the Duras sisters, and in turn using this to explain how Kurn got stabbed. Then I read Zeke's "Redemption" fiver (about which more in a moment) and saw that the joke also unintentionally alluded to Zeke's running gag that the Duras sisters were campainging on a "cleavage for all" platform, which turned out to be an added bonus.

>> And I simply love the phrase "suitable displacement activities". When my computer crashes next time (like today - its little Christmas
present to me), I think I`ll apply suitable displacement activities on it... <<

The punchline to this joke comes in "Redemption," where Zeke has a recurrent joke about exactly what Worf ended up doing as a "displacement activity". Hilarious stuff, including one particularly clever sound effect followed by a deadpan comment from Worf that's priceless.

>> Oh, the "outer darkness" reference in the last scene sounds very cool, and familiar, but I can`t remember where have I heard it originally... [...] I think it's a Silmarillion reference. <<

Actually, I have no idea where I got that expression either. I've known it for years, but can't recall where I picked it up. The Simarillion does, however, I think, state that Morgoth (Sauron's ex-boss) got cast into the Timeless Void, through the Door of Night and beyond the Wall of the World. (Kind of reminds me of how a former university professor of mine once described the fall of Satan in Paradise Lost: "Lucifer exclaimed. 'I am better than God!' and right away a trap door opened under his feet. The next thing he knew, he was picking himself up, looking around and asking 'Where the hell am I?' ").

>> I have it on good authority (from the horse's mouth, as it were) that Marc will be off travelling for the next day or two <<

Leaving aside for now the matter of this unfortunate horse metaphor, you are quite correct. I have now retured, having been -- to coin a phrase -- there and back again.

Happy holidays, everyone.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Zeke"][quoteost_uid0="Standback"]Implication that there may be uncanny similarities between current server trouble and yesteryear's forum upheaval.[/quoteost_uid0]
What kind of similarities?[/quoteost_uid0]
Um... bad stuff happening. In the forums. Bad stuff. forums. You see?

So it isn't very deep. So sue me.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[quoteost_uid0="Marc"][color=#000000ost_uid0]The punchline to this joke comes in "Redemption," where Zeke has a recurrent joke about exactly what Worf ended up doing as a "displacement activity". Â [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]
Worf: May I return to duty, Captain?
Picard: Yes, on one condition.
Worf: Name it.
Picard: Go to your quarters. Disarm the explosives on the door. Empty the vats of liquid nitrogen. Dismantle the flaming bat'telh wheel. Release the Klingon alligators into the wild. And for God's sake, turn the country music down.[/quoteost_uid0]

And this is what Worf`s hobbies mutated into,

It`s quite nice - fiver joke arcs![/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000ost_uid0]It`s quite nice - fiver joke arcs![/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]It takes a special type of author to come up with
jokes that link one Fiver to another.

Bravo, Mr. [bost_uid0]MARC,[/bost_uid0] I salute you regardless of what-
ever washroom you may decide to use.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]It takes a special type of author to come up with
jokes that link one Fiver to another.[/quoteost_uid0]

Since you put it that way, I'm going to blow my own horn (and Nan's, by proxy, since she's not able to blow it herself at the moment) and direct you to Ceremonies of Light and Dark (B5).[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][quoteost_uid0]It takes a special type of author to come up with
jokes that link one Fiver to another.[/quoteost_uid0]

Since you put it that way, I'm going to blow my own horn (and Nan's, by proxy, since she's not able to blow it herself at the moment) and direct you to Ceremonies of Light and Dark (B5).[/quoteost_uid0]
Ah, the "creepy-eyed Gowron joke", isn`t it?

Actually, I`m very glad you decided to blow your own horn, because you made me read the "Comes the Inquisitor" and "Ceremonies of Light and Dark" fivers... and I loved them! Especially the "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" references. Those were hysterical. It seems that there is finally something useful out of me being a History student, since I know what`s the capital of Assyria. Though if Sebastian asked, and I responded "Nineveh", he`d probably said he meant the old capital, Ashur, and would zap me anyway,

Back-on-topic... I do believe "Sins of the Father" is among Marc`s very best. Marc, we eagerly await another Klingon episode fiver!


p.s. And what`s that about a horse? [/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]p.s. And what`s that about a horse?[/quoteost_uid0]

The horse in this case refers to Marc, since he himself told me he'd be travelling (English idiom: hearing something from the horse's mouth means hearing it from the source. Don't ask me why).

One could also argue that it's yet another inter-fiver reference, since the same saying occurs in Derek's Cardassians fiver.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Duras: So, Worf has a brother! He was wise to hide you from me!
Kurn: You represent the dark side of the Empire, Duras! I will not join you!
Duras: If I cannot turn you, then perhaps my sisters will. Here -- look at their photograph!
Kurn: Nice try...but it takes more than a little cleavage to distract a Kling--GAK!
Duras: Heheheh.[/quoteost_uid0]


Funny stuff, Marc![/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0](and since the series turned 16 last week -- on my birthday, in fact)[/quoteost_uid0]

Hey! That's cheating! No fair having birthdays without telling us devoted forumgoers!

Happy birthday!

[imgost_uid0]http://www.mountainrose-inn.com/images/happy-birthday-balloons.jpg[/imgost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[quoteost_uid0="Standback"][color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0](and since the series turned 16 last week -- on my birthday, in fact)[/quoteost_uid0]

Hey! That's cheating! No fair having birthdays without telling us devoted forumgoers!

Happy birthday! [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Indeed! Happy birthday! When was it, anyway?

"The date! I need the exact date!"

[quoteost_uid0]The horse in this case refers to Marc, since he himself told me he'd be travelling (English idiom: hearing something from the horse's mouth means hearing it from the source. Don't ask me why).[/quoteost_uid0]

The horse`s mouth... Lovely! That`s why I love the English language. There are days when I almost speak more English than Croatian (because my friends are equally crazy). And I think in English, all the time... I wonder if Star Trek is responsible,

So anyway, Marc, where have you been? Horseback riding somewhere? [/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]There are days when I almost speak more English than Croatian (because my friends are equally crazy). And I think in English, all the time... [/quoteost_uid0]
I know the feeling. Sometimes, I don't even notice whether something is in English or Dutch.

And as for the date, it's the 17th.[/colorost_uid0]