Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list

[Opium]

Originally Posted by NeoMatrix

8. Archer writes, "I am having a romantic evening with three beautilful women...". Captain Kirk adds later, "I walked in and beat Archer up, which he enjoyed for some odd reason, then took the women with me.

So...wrong...shouldn't laugh...but...BWHAHAHAHAHAH...

[Scooter]

7. Redshirt #47472 writes [with thanks to Opium]: “Figwit sighed as he hefted an ale at the Forsaken Inn. There was nothing like Elvish love, and Figwit had experienced it in spades the night before. If only Arwen hadn't called out 'Strider!' at just the wrong moment...”

6. Kes writes: “Neelix paused outside Janeway's quarters. Was he being presumptuous? The captain had certainly seemed to encourage him with all her jokey banter about his coffee, but was she truly interested? Then a misty, faintly Okampan presence seemed to drift through his mind. ‘Ask her out,’ it seemed to plead desperately. ‘Please! I'm begging you!’ Reassured, Neelix rang the captain's doorbell. ‘Come!’ she replied forcefully from within...”

5. Tom Paris writes: “Worf furrowed his massive brows and gazed suspiciously into the Mirror of Galadriel. ‘What will I see?’ he growled. ‘Look and see,’ Galadriel purred playfully. Suddenly the waters cleared, and the emerging vision made Worf’s heart pound in his powerful breast. It was a sight that Worf had envisioned many times in his dreams, though never before had he suspected even for a moment that Aragorn shaved his chest...”

4. Data writes: “void Main { do { for (iMinutes = 0; iMinutes<60; iMinutes++) { crew SexyLt = new CDistraction; alien Zeneb5People = new CAlienThreat; heroicDeath (subject:=SexyLt, perpetrator:=Zeneb5People); datetime BummerForBeverly = new CMourningPeriod(months:=5) } } while ( fbUnrequitedLove(subject:=Crusher, object:=Picard) ); }”

[NeoMatrix]

3. Wesley writes, "Everyone loves me. As I walk around the ship, everyone offers me pie. Picard even let me be Captain for a day. The only problem is that the Borg assimulated the ship while I was napping in the chair, and now we are all Borg drones."

[Scooter]

2. Sulu writes: “Nameless crewmen leapt hurriedly aside as the silver DeLorean, which had appeared so suddenly in the rec room only moments before, roared around the wide, curving gangways of Deck 6, screeching suddenly to a halt directly in front of the astonished Lt. Uhura. The driver’s-side gull-wing door popped slowly open as gouts of steam billowed from hidden exhausts, and a youthful head appeared. ‘Hey pretty lady,’ called the boyish Marty McFly cheerfully, ‘you want a ride?’ ”

1. Toaster writes: “Its cycle finally complete, the gleaming and gallant toaster willingly released its lightly browned bread, offering two perfect slices to the one perfect android. The dashing android grasped one of the slices and took a huge bite, and when he said with conviction, ‘No replicator could do it better!’ the toaster, knowing that Data was incapable of lying, felt a warm glow deep inside its coils...”


Next topic:

Top ten Deities that Trek characters want to meet (and why)

[Anonymous]

10: Worf - Odin, so they can compare lance sizes.
9: Mayweather - Hermes, because if you aren't noticed, you might as do it quickly while stealing things.
8: The Borg - They need a new central focus for the Collective, and assimilating a deity with experience in pervasive cybernetics would greatly help their cause... (Yes, again.)
7: Janeway - She doesn't need to meet a god. So shall it be written, so shall it be done.
6: Kirk - Jesus. He heard the Messiah was quite adept at picking up chicks in his day.

[NAHTMMM]

Originally Posted by Opium

So...wrong...shouldn't laugh...but...BWHAHAHAHAHAH...

Nothing wrong about it :twisted:

Originally Posted by Scooter

6. Kes writes: “Neelix paused outside Janeway's quarters. Was he being presumptuous? The captain had certainly seemed to encourage him with all her jokey banter about his coffee, but was she truly interested? Then a misty, faintly Okampan presence seemed to drift through his mind. ‘Ask her out,’ it seemed to plead desperately. ‘Please! I'm begging you!’ Reassured, Neelix rang the captain's doorbell. ‘Come!’ she replied forcefully from within...”

Now, this is wrong--but still funny!

[Ginga]

Originally Posted by NAHTMMM

Now, this is wrong--but still funny!

Oh my God! *rolls on the floor laughing* :lol:

[Scooter]

6b. Kirk: The god at the center of the galaxy, because he's spoiling for a rematch.
5. Wesley: himself (yeah, right)
4. Kes: Mars, for tips on using her powers to blow shit up
3. Scotty: Bacchus, to check out his awesome wet bar
2. Porthos: Anubis (a dog-headed god? Arf!)
1. Spock: Vulcan, to see if he's willing to become brand spokesman for his new venture, Logicanetics



Next:

Top Ten Marvel* (or DC**) Comics/Star Trek Cross-Overs

*That's Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Avengers, X-Men, Hulk, Daredevil, Captain America...
**That's Superman, Batman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Space Ghost...

[KillerGodMan]

10. Data vs. Iron Man!
9. Superman goes to Krypton... on the Enterprise!

Sounds like exposition in the title, but hey, that's what comic titles are ment for! ^_^

[Opium]

8. Spiderman 3: Timetravellin' to T'Pol
7. X-Men: The X Generation (featuring Wesley Crusher being a smart-a...leck)

[NeoMatrix]

6. Star Trek: Superfriends (The Superfriends travel around the galaxy in the Enterprise to fight crime)

[Opium]

5. Wonder Troi
4. SuperVulcan
3. Green Skin
2. SpiderAndroid
1. TribbleMan


Top Ten Worst Ideas For A New Star Trek Show

[persianmouse]

10. Anything with 'Executive producers Rick Berman and Brannon Braga' at the end of the theme music.

9. Star Trek: Just another day in Paradise! - A look into the life of an average human and federation citizen living on Earth, with replicators to meet all your dietary and clothing needs, no crime, no poverty, no disease, no poluution, no corrupt politicians, free education, free everything pretty much, a nice big huge armada to fight any wars with creepy aliens far far away, that sort of thing. The general beigeness of living a life were you don't have to do anything, and nothing threatens you, and you have no great physical needs. Showing people just how easy it is to be a saint in Paradise.

8. T'jo Latinumaire - 12 lucky young girls of many species compete to see who T'jo, a well-to-do Vulcan a few weeks away from pon far, will pick at his mate. They will show just how far women have come, by snipeing and cat-fighting, seeing who can debase themselves more, and using all manner of trickery and vice to win over T'jo. The ladies will try to best each other in eyebrow raising, most creative use of 'Vulcans dont-(whatever)', and who can give the best finger-jobs.

[KillerGodMan]

7. Star Trek: Galactica - A crossover where the Enterprise - G, piloted by Captian Whoever (it WAS going to be Picard, but it isn't because he blew up the Enterprise - F) gets transported to the Battlestar Galactica universe, and the only help they have is a C/7er

[Scooter]

6. Data Eye for the Trek Guy: Data visits a new crewman every week and arranges their closets by function from light to dark.

5. Star Trek: Nosferatu: In a stunning mishap (explored in the pilot, "Once Bitten"), a Federation Starship is converted entirely to vampires. The only exception is a meek Bolian teenager who spends the first season trying to kill the vampires, then in the second season premiere joins forces with them in their fight against the Anteres Werewolf Collective.

4. Star Trek: Story Conference: Each episode follows the desperate efforts of the producers at Paramount to come up with a story idea for the next Star Trek movie that's even remotely workable.

3. Star Trek: The Many Deaths of Kirk: Each week, the death of Kirk in Generations is replaced by an alternate, more heroic death suggested by one of the legions of fans who wrote to Paramount fuming about how falling off a platform onto a bunch of rocks was the lamest death since Jadzia. Pilot episode: Kirk kills Soran and destroys the launcher when he swallows a big bomb and explodes.

[Scooter]

I would just like to add that this is my 500th post.

Somehow it seemed appropriate to do it here.

Thank you

[NAHTMMM]

You're welcome


2. I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here: Each week is a Very Special Episode featuring a different well-known performer coerced into appearing on the show. The fun is in watching as the filming crew maliciously follows said celebrity around the sets as he or she desperately tries to avoid screentime and thus lessen the effect of the "Star Trek Curse" on his or her career. First week: guest star Christina Aguilera becomes so preoccupied with avoiding the camera's gaze that she scrambles out an airlock into the thick of a firefight with half the Romulan fleet.

1. Star Trek: Nightclub: Data does stand-up comedy. Deanna Troi works the stage--until she's assassinated by understudy Kai Winn in the second episode. Montgomery Scott is a somewhat biased bouncer and Nyota Uhura a cynical waitress always ready with a slap or sarcastic quip for any male customer who tries to get a little too personal with her. Harry Kim joins Travis Mayweather to reprise his part in the Underused Characters Tavern. Loads of Quality Fun for the entire family.




Next: The Top Ten REAL Reasons Star Trek: Enterprise Was Cancelled

[Opium]

10. Scott Bakula really wanted more time-travel.

[persianmouse]

9. Conner Trineer lost those 'special' photos of Brannon Braga showing Les Moonves his vintage medical equipment collection....

8. The way things were progressing, it looked as though they might have actually had to do Trip and T'pol as a couple in a mature and loving fashion, and that simply wouldn't do.

[Xeroc]

7. Well, something had to be cancelled to make way for the new reality TV series, "Reality TV: The Reality TV - Reality TV Series"
6. Avocado.
5. Error 404: Intelligence Not Found in Production Staff
4. UPN was in danger of losing the the crucial "young, homicidal women" audience.
3. Archer felt that since he fit so well into the angry mirror-universe persona role, he couldn't possibly top it, and so decided to just stop while he was a hot head.
2. It's obviously 47. I mean, obviously.

And the number one REAL Reason Star Trek: Enterprise Was Cancelled...

1. It was actually getting good. (Buuuuuurn!)


Next: The Top Ten Reasons forumgoers use emoticons.