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[Scooter]

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the concept of this list. However in the interests of jump-starting the thread:

6. It's a little known fact, but chili is allergic to dogs.

5. Porthos is really a Mexican dog and is violently offended by inauthentic Tex-Mexisms like chili.

4. Chili, when made properly using the finest red beans and purest cumin, contains minute amounts seutrosetricin, a rare substance known to cause an extreme susceptibility to being beaten up among among owners of dogs who eat it.

3. Beagle dogs have an ancient and little-understood tradition of using tomato products as war paint.

2. Malcolm will start trying to use "Porthos emissions" as a weapon.

And the number one reason:

1. The head of UPN has a violent dislike of chili and swears that if Porthos eats just one more bowl of it, he'll cancel "Enterprise."


Next, given the teenification of the WB and so on:

Top 10 Steamy Angst-Ridden Teen-Oriented Concepts for a New Star Trek Series