Block 8 - Something is wrong with the world

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Trinity leads Neo in to see Morpheus, warning him to "Be honest. He knows more than you can possibly imagine." Morpheus shakes Neo's hand and they have a seat. The resistance leader (known to Neo as a famous hacker, like Trinity) begins to talk about fate and the question buried in Neo's mind: "What is the Matrix?" Morpheus claims the Matrix can't be described, but he offers Neo a chance to find out. He holds out two pills, one red and one blue. He states that if Neo takes the blue pill, he'll forget any of this has happened and return to his life; if he takes the red pill, Morpheus will show him how deep the rabbit hole goes.

After some hesitation, Neo takes the red pill. They walk into an adjoining room as Morpheus explains that the pill contained a trace program that will enable the team to locate Neo. (Apoc and Cypher are in this room operating the equipment.) Neo touches a large mirror which promptly starts to spread over him like paint, finally pouring down his throat. Neo screams and wakes up in the real world, hooked up to wires and suspended in a fluid-filled tube. A nasty-looking floating machine notices this and releases Neo, flushing the tank into what's presumably a waste disposal area. Terrified and gasping for breath, Neo surfaces and is found by the resistance team. "Welcome to the real world," Morpheus tells him.

Synopsis is here, here, and here. I'm not sure how many scenes this should be; I'll decide after I see what people come up with.[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]This is just a first stab at this, so don't expect too much.

Trinity: Don't bother trying to fib - he knows [iost_uid0]waaay[/iost_uid0] more than you.
Neo: Stop rubbing the whole [iost_uid0]Speed 2[/iost_uid0] thing in already.
(Neo enters the indicated room)
Morpheus: We meet at last Mr. Neo.
Neo: Uhh....likewise.
Morpheus: So I expect you'll have a bucketload of questions that I will now procede to not answer in the most lenghty way possible.
Neo: Couldn't you just tell me that the Matrix is a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Take all the fun out of it why don't you.

Morpheus: It's quite simple - take the blue pill and you'll wake up tomorrow believing that you spent tonight on the mother of all pub crawls, or you take the red pill, say "there's no place like home", and wake up in the real world.
Neo: I'll take the red pill please Carol.
Morpheus: It's actually part of some vaguely technobabbly stuff that will allow us to loacate your position.
Neo: But I'm right here! Sitting in this chair next to this mirror!
Trinity: What mirror?
Neo: (touches mirrors surface) This one right here....oh, crap.
(CGI kicks in; sliver stuff starts to cover Neo)
Neo: OH CRAAAAA.....

(Neo wakes up in the life support pod thingy)
Neo:....AAAAAP! (looks around) Huh? I guess that must be the worst of that over then.
Big Nasty Looking Robot: Hi there.
(Robot disconscts Neo from cables; pod drains taking Neo with it)
Neo: OHCRAPHEREIGOAGAIN!
(Neo exits chute, falling into water; he is then winched up into a wating hovercraft)
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo: Charming place you're got here. The decor says homely, but the neighbourhood says "I hope you've had all your shots."
Trinity: Enough with the wisecracks, and be warned: if you strike him down, he will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine ((possible parallelism here)).
Morpheus: Welcome to my parlour. To sleep, perchance to dream.
Neo: What are you on about?
Morpheus: I have no idea. Somebody else can write this bit.


Morpheus: If you eat the blue M&M, you will remember none of this. If you eat the green M&M, all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
Neo: What about the red one?
Morpheus: Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
Neo: Why not?
Morpheus: The red ones are my favourite.

Neo: Eww, I got mirror on my fingers. Get it off.
Somebody Other Than Morpheus: Did you ever see that old B-movie "The Blob"?
Neo: Part of it. How did it end?
SOTM: Well, a lot of people got eaten, and then...
Cypher: Computer, end program.
Mirror blob: Gloop!
Neo: Gak! Rats. Now I'll never know how it ended.

SFX Interlude

Neo: I'm naked, bald, floating in goo and wired up like a reject from a bad science fiction movie. What else can possibly go wrong? (Spider-thing peers into Neo's cell) I have got to stop saying that.
Capsule contents (and Neo): Flush!
Futuristic coptor: Grab!
Morpheus: (witty tagline to end this scene on - probably PHJ's Alice line, since that seems to be the consensus)

Obviously, ad hoc composition is not my friend. Feel free to tinker around with this. I may go back and edit if a punchline or joke strikes my fancy.

Alternate, slightly sillier version:

Apoc (or Cypher...I really don't know which is which): We aren't picking up his signal.
Morpheus: Curses! Go to Plan B.
(Apoc and Cypher dash into the real world and begin looking through each capsule individually): No...no...no...no...

(reflective pause)

Wow, am I unfunny today.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[quoteost_uid0="PointyHairedJedi"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I love this line.[/colorost_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Okay...here goes:

Trinity: Alright, we're here. Now don't fib, because if you do you won't be getting any cookies later.
Neo: aww...

Morpheus: Hey
Neo: Hey
Morpheus: I'm here to tell you the truth about your world.
Neo: I'm confused
Morpheus: You ever played Everquest?
Neo: Ummmm....
Morpheus: Here, take a pill, you'll understand later.

Neo: Ooooh...cool....the mirror's gone all funky...
Morpheus: Ah, the pill is starting to have it's effect.
Trinity: Actually, he's like this all the time.
Neo: mmmm....shiny....

Neo: ACK! I'm covered in slime! What the spluck happened last night?
Robot: Hiya
Neo: Was it something I ate?
(Neo gets flushed)
Neo: This is the best waterslide EVER!

Morpheus: Welcome to the real world
Neo: Can I go down the slide again?
Morpheus: Oh god, what have I done?

EDIT: This is my [iost_uid0]very[/iost_uid0] first attempt at the fiver style, so any kind of imput on this is welcome![/colorost_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Trinity: Be honest. He knows more than you possibly can imagine.
Neo: Huh, I seem to get that a lot.

Morpheus: Neo? Who would like to learn the truth about reality?
Neo: Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening. I was watching the shadows on the wall.
Morpheus: Look, the truth is behind Door Number 1, or Door Number 2.
Neo: Um, I'll take Door Number 1.
Morpheus: And... it's a new car!
Neo: Gnarly!
Morpheus: Naw, I'm just kidding. It's a chair and a broken mirror.
Neo: Dang.

Morpheus: Now, we're running a trace program to locate your pod.
Neo: Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening. I was checking out this stupid broken mirror.
Odo: Who are you calling stupid?
(wakes up in a tub of goo)
Neo: AAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
Robot: Wake up in pink goo often?
Neo: Erm... no.
(Neo exits chute, falling into water; he is picked up in a waiting hovercraft)
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...

I added PHJ's line, since Zeke expressed a like in it [/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]How [iost_uid0]did[/iost_uid0] we play this? :S

I think I came up with something like this...

[quoteost_uid0]Trinity: Neo, it's time for you to meet my boss, Morpheus.
Neo: Wow! You get to boss God around? That is so unbelievable, man!
Morpheus: Pfft. You don't know unbelievable until you've swallowed this pill.
Neo: I'll take it.
Morpheus: All right, sit here. Trinity, get to work on the setup.
Neo: OK. Ooo, a mirror. I love mirrors, they remind me of why I get such huge movie contracts. Hey, Trinity, would you mind if I adjust this mirror a little so I can see myself better?
Trinity: Hmm? Fine, knock yourself out, just let me work. And don't touch the glass part, no matter wh--
Neo: ACK!
Trinity: Oops, too late.[/quoteost_uid0]

(Edit) Oddly enough, I think my scene is the least funny so far. :lol: I guess we've got our second wind after taking that enforced break.[/colorost_uid0]

[Draknek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I really like the M&M bit, as well as the chair and a broken mirror scene.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I am doing one part for right now, I will do the rest after work tonight.

This part takes place after he wakes up and sees all the robots.

*flushed*
Neo:Oh look, this must be the rabbit hole.
Neo:Weeeeeee!!!
*5 minutes later*
Neo:This is some hole
*5 hours later**splash*
Neo: About time!
Morpheus: Hello Alice. How was the trip?[/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like what I see so far, which naturally means I have the urge to play with it myself.

[bost_uid0]Trinity:[/bost_uid0] We're here. Now, be honest -- he knows more than you can possibly imagine.
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Huh. I seem to get that a lot.
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Hello, Neo. I know you have a question... what is the matrix?
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Take all the fun out of it, why don't you.

[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] It's quite simple. If you eat a blue smartie, you'll wake up tomorrow with the mother of all hangovers. Or, you can eat a green smartie and --
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] What about that red smartie?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Nononono! Not the red one!
[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] Why not?
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] You're supposed to eat the red ones last.

[bost_uid0]Neo:[/bost_uid0] AAAAAAAAA! Oh wait, it's a dream....
[bost_uid0]Robot:[/bost_uid0] It is? Then you won't mind if I pinch you. And by "pinch," I mean "flush."
(WHOOSH)
[bost_uid0]Morpheus:[/bost_uid0] Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us.[/colorost_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]:::sigh:::
Well, I guess my first fiver attempt wasn't funny enough.

Back to the drawing board!

BTW, great work Kira, and all others that contributed to that compilation! :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Actually, Wonko, this paragraph was one of my favorites out of all the submissions:

[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Ooooh...cool....the mirror's gone all funky...
Morpheus: Ah, the pill is starting to have its effect.
Trinity: Actually, he's like this all the time.
Neo: mmmm....shiny....[/quoteost_uid0]

Along with

[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: So I expect you'll have a bucketload of questions that I will now procede to not answer in the most lenghty way possible.
Neo: Couldn't you just tell me that the Matrix is a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Take all the fun out of it why don't you.[/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: Welcome to my parlour. To sleep, perchance to dream.
Neo: What are you on about?
Morpheus: I have no idea. Somebody else can write this bit.
[iost_uid0][I know that last line isn't really intended, but I still got a kick out of it.][/iost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]sax's entire post[/quoteost_uid0]
Plus the ones quoted below.

Come to think of it, we could keep up with the knock-knock joke joke...
[quoteost_uid0]Morpheus: Hello, Neo. I know you have a question...
Neo: Yes, I do. *ahem* Who's there? [or however far the joke got]
Morpheus: No, Neo, the other one. "What is the Matrix?" And let me tell you, I'm gonna enjoy frustrating you out of your mind with a long enigmatic monologue.
Neo: Lemme guess. Is it a giant virtual construct that only exists in the minds of the people hooked up to it?
Morpheus: Aargh! Take all the fun out of it, why don't you. The witch must have told you! Didn't she? Didn't she?[/quoteost_uid0]


All right, here's a possible combination:

[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Charming place you're got here. The decor says homely, but the neighbourhood says "I hope you've had all your shots."
Trinity: Enough with the wisecracks, and be warned: if you strike him down, he will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Morpheus: If you eat the blue M&M, you will remember none of this. If you eat the green M&M, all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
Neo: What about the red one?
Morpheus: Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one.
Neo: Why not?
Morpheus: The red ones are my favourite.

Neo: Ooooh...cool....the mirror's gone all funky...
Morpheus: Ah, I see the pill is starting to have its effect.
Trinity: Actually, he's like this all the time.
Neo: mmmm....shiny....

Neo: I'm naked, bald, floating in disgusting goo and wired up like a reject from a bad science fiction movie. What else can possibly go wrong? [iost_uid0](Spider-thing peers into Neo's cell)[/iost_uid0] I have [iost_uid0]got[/iost_uid0] to stop saying that.
Capsule contents (and Neo): Flush!
Morpheus: Ah, Alice. Glad you could join us...[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Kira's version looks pretty good to me. I don't think we're far from a final version here.[/colorost_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Thanks Naht! But I agree with PHJ, I think we're pretty much done. Not to glorify myself, but I'd still like to see my scene with 'the pill is starting to have it's effect' scene put in there.

That might make it too long though. It's just a thought, but I love the M&M bit![/colorost_uid0]

[Kira]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hm, I seem to have missed that scene when I perused the thread. I'm inclined to agree it should be included since it's hilarious. I think it could go in between the second and third scenes in my version without affecting anything.

As for the M&M/Smarties bit, I'm torn between "The red ones are my favorite" and "You're supposed to eat the red ones last" as a punchline. I stuck with the latter mostly for diversity, but if the former is more popular it works too.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I, obviously, prefer the "they're my favorite" line.

Just so I don't have to go hunting through the fivers for key words: Are we using American or British spelling here?[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Are we using American or British spelling here?[/quoteost_uid0]

Canadian.

I should probably explain some of my ramblings. The "Sleep, perchance to dream" thing comes from the fact that "Morpheus" means "sleep." The "Computer, end program" resonates with Reg Barclay worrying if his entire reality is a holoprogram in a box on somebody's desk at the end of...uhhh...the second Moriarty episode. It kinda ties in with the theme of the movie. These were just random intejections, and didn't really seem to fit (as can be seen from "I have no idea. Somebody else can write this bit"). Something to keep in mind if somebody's stuck further on down the road.

The "Nonononono! Not the red one! Don't ever eat the red one!" is derived from a line from an old Loony Toons cartoon. I had it as a wave file on the old computer. I have all sorts of clutter and detritus floating around in the back of my memory.

Can anyone remember the episode?

And NAHT, you're gonna turn my head if you keep using my scenes *g*[/colorost_uid0]

[Saxamaphone]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like what Kira came up with - it's nice

I thought the pills looked more like Mike and Ikes - but M&M/Smarties are good too - since your obviouly making references.

Which, BTW, I was trying to do with the shadows on the wall - but I'm sure the Lennon/Plato, or just Plato theme can come up some other time.[/colorost_uid0]

[Wonko The Sane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]So are we done here?

I really like Kira's compilation there, with the "you're supposed to eat the red ones last" line.[/colorost_uid0]

[Sa'ar Chasm]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Call me biased, but I'm in favour of "The red ones are my favourite."

There isn't really anything else in my submission that I'm too attached to, save maybe the opening line.

Kira's compilation (with Wonko's mirror scene) seems good, save for the preference noted above.

I got my M&M scene in. No need to get greedy.[/colorost_uid0]