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  #861  
Old 11-11-2004, 07:54 AM
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Written late at night by someone who should be sleeping:

The Top ten rejected actors for Aragorn
(Dedicated to Stuart Townsend; with notes from Peter Jackson's confidential memoranda)

10. Emeril Agasse - Can't stop shouting BAM! whenever he stabs a bad guy
9. Leo DiCaprio - Need someone taller than Liv (Fran, retest him for Pippin)
8. Keanu Reeves - Keeps shooting Elrond for some reason
7. Bruce Willis - His Elvish sounds suspiciously like Pig Latin
6. Kevin Kline - Demands clarification over moustache/no moustache issue; completely confused by stubble
5. Laurence Olivier - Apparently unware he's dead
4. Jim Carrey - Bugging eyes and lolling tongue out of mouth like a cartoon character wrong reaction to death of Gandalf
3. Andy Serkis - Can't understand a word he's saying (Note to Fran - maybe we can palm off some some voice work on him?)
2. William Shatner - Thought he was playing Ar, a Gorn; did nothing but bare his teeth and growl into a microphone

And the Number One Rejected Actor for Aragorn:

1. Renee Zellweger - Too eager to be licked by Brego the horse



Next:
Top Ten Rejected Actors for Samwise Gamgee
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  #862  
Old 11-11-2004, 01:04 PM
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Top Ten Rejected Actors for Samwise Gamgee

10. Christopher Walken: His age was suspicious; what would a old Hobbit want with a young one? :wink:
9. Mike Meyers: Kept talking in a Scottish accent which distracted and confused everyone.
8. Patrick Stewart: His Shakespearean diction interfered with the Hobbit Slang pronunciations.
7. Richard Gere: Samwise doesn't tap-dance.
6. Jared Leto: Was off doing some side-projects; would have left Frodo alone.
5. Eric Szmada: Is already cute and cuddly on CSI; also, would use advanced investigation techniques to destruct ring within 24 hours.
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  #863  
Old 11-11-2004, 09:59 PM
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4. Eddy Murphy - Talked too much

3. Jeff Goldblum - Too smart

2. Steven Seagal - Too violant

And the number 1 rejected actor for Samwise Gamgee...

1. Ahmed Best - "Messa called Jar-Jar Binks"

Top ten Rejected actors for Gandalf
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  #864  
Old 11-12-2004, 01:06 AM
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Quote:
Top ten Rejected actors for Gandalf

10. Patrick Stewart :mrgreen:
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  #865  
Old 11-12-2004, 01:31 AM
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9. William Shatner: "You...shall...not...pass. Gandalf The Grey."

8. Johnny Depp: Is hotter than the rest of the cast, even Legolas. Beard would cover it up.
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  #866  
Old 11-12-2004, 03:19 AM
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7. Robin Williams - Just... BECAUSE

6. Tommy Lee Jones - "What do you mean I can't blow their brains out?"

5. Sam Neil - Kept running from everything Raptor-sized and bigger
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  #867  
Old 11-12-2004, 04:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooter
8. Keanu Reeves - Keeps shooting Elrond for some reason
I loved this one
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  #868  
Old 11-12-2004, 09:31 AM
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4: Christopher Lee - "you're meant to be the evil dude, damnit!"
3: Harrison Ford
2: :Laurence Olivier - dead, and too melodramatic
and no.1
1: Ian McKellen!
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  #869  
Old 11-12-2004, 10:31 AM
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Someone post a new topic
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  #870  
Old 11-12-2004, 11:03 AM
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Top ten Rejected actors for Frodo
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  #871  
Old 11-12-2004, 11:29 AM
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Erm...okay!


10: Wil Weaton: Too darn whiney!
9. Johnny Depp: Casting hottie middle-aged Frodo with younger Samwise would have been too suggestive... as with the books. :wink:
8. Noah Wyle: Would spend too much time studying Elven medication.
7. Scott Bayo: Wait, is he still alive?
6. Leo Decaprio: People would cheer when he almost falls into the pit of lava.
5. Jim Carey: Would have caused yet another The-Oscars-Are-Against-Canadians uproar.
4. Jerry Sienfeild: "So I was reading an Elven periodical today, and wondered, what's up with pointy hat tricks?"
3. Cathrine Zeta Jones: Too boyish.
2. Eminem: Considers JRR Tolkien books to be bad influence on vunerable adolecents.
1. John Travolta: Disco Frodo has left the building.

Top Ten Rejected Actors for the role of Neo in the Matrix (as opposed to NeoMatrix)
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  #872  
Old 11-12-2004, 12:57 PM
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10. Arnie Schwarzanegger
9. Sylvester Stalone
8. Mel Gibson
7. Will Young
6. Me
5. Barbara Streisland
4. Tom Cruise
3. George Bush
2. Rowan Atkinson

And...

1. Keanu Reeves (you expected this to make sense?)

Top ten list of failed actresses for Trinity
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  #873  
Old 11-13-2004, 03:16 AM
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Er okay...

10. Brittney Spears - "Oops! I sacked him again!"
9. J-Lo - No, just no
8. Halle Berry - Acted like a cat for some reason
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  #874  
Old 11-17-2004, 04:52 AM
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7. Hillary Swank - Producers refused after she auditioned for Neo
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  #875  
Old 11-17-2004, 09:35 AM
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6. Chantal Kreviasuk: "I'm leaving, on a net plane, don't know when I'll be back again"
5. Queen Latifah: Made Neo look too wimpy.
4. Lara Flynn Boyle: Made Neo look too curvy and girly.
3. Susan Serandon: Demi Moore already has the younger-man niche.
2. Kathy Bates: Also tried out for The Oracle; was just too odd.
1. Cathrine Zeta Jones: Was waaaay too into Morpheus.


Top Ten Actors/Actresses Who Should be in Star Trek.
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  #876  
Old 11-17-2004, 11:03 AM
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10: Hugh Grant - Should be in TOS, would look great with a ripped shirt.
9: Vin Deisel - Has the hair for a Trek captain.
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  #877  
Old 11-19-2004, 11:56 PM
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8. Rory Cochrane - Better playing a doomed Redshirt than playing a dead cop
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger - A Borg if we ever saw one
6. Ahmed Best - "Meesa called Jar-Jar Binks! Messa going to destroy earth"
5. Eminem - The only one who can stop the D12ians....
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  #878  
Old 11-24-2004, 11:18 PM
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4. John Wayne. Can't you see him as Kirk in one of his fistfights?
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  #879  
Old 12-04-2004, 12:11 AM
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3. Jennifer Aniston: "What? I'm not wearing that uniform, it's ugly"
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  #880  
Old 12-05-2004, 04:02 AM
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2. Sarah Michelle Geller - She'd could easly mistake a Xindi for a Vampire, and let instint take it's course.

1. Jeff Goldblum - Can't you see him as a science person with skills to match Spock's?

Next: Top 10 deleated scenes from Star Wars
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