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Old 09-06-2004, 02:34 AM
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Default September 5: 5MNG 3rd Anniversary



Well, it's that time of year again. Break out the party favors, the Troi-shaped cake, a surly Klingon, and Will Riker's trombone: 5MNG turns three today! 5MV's oldest subsite, it's been around as long as I have, and with today's contributions, it's now fived 60% of the Next Generation material. So let's hear it for Marc, 5MNG, and more great years to come!


In celebration of the momentous occasion, we're going to have three days of three fivers apiece. To start us off, we've got Five-Minute "The Quality of Life" from the head cheese himself, Marc Richard, accompanied by Five-Minute "Violations" by Derek Dean and Five-Minute "The Outcast" by Wade. You'll also notice some changes to the site layout: as with 5MD and 5MST before it, 5MNG is now the latest victim of Zeke's PHP mania.


So, enjoy, and come back for more tomorrow.
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Old 09-06-2004, 02:37 AM
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YAY! Congrats, Marc!
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Old 09-06-2004, 02:52 AM
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Default Re: September 5: 5MNG 3rd Anniversary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kira
5MV's oldest subsite, it's been around as long as I have
Marc! I had no idea you've been running 5MNG for 23 years. That's a lot of work, man... you deserve a paid vacation. Take five minutes starting now.

Seriously, my congratulationsest congratulations to Marc and 5MNG. Three years is a long time -- and that's in 5MV time. It's 36 years in regular time.
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[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 09-06-2004, 02:53 AM
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The first two are great, but the third one is maulfunctioning!

It doesn't have any enters.

Like this one.
Or these two.

Or boldness!

It's way too shy.
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Old 09-06-2004, 03:11 AM
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Thanks for the tipoff -- I've fixed the fiver.
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 09-06-2004, 03:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeke
Thanks for the tipoff -- I've fixed the fiver.
No problem, any time!

All three fivers are great!

Now I can't wait for tomorrow!
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Old 09-06-2004, 05:04 AM
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Oh God, its all in PHP! Oh the humanity! WHY? WHY? (breaks down in tears)
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Old 09-06-2004, 05:07 AM
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You don't like PHP, Wade? That's a pity -- it likes you.
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 09-06-2004, 05:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeke
You don't like PHP, Wade? That's a pity -- it likes you.
Yeah PHP is da bomb!
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Old 09-06-2004, 05:45 AM
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PHP loves you. Why don't you like PHP, Wade? WHY? WHY?
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Old 09-06-2004, 06:09 AM
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The link to the TrekNation guide page on "Violations" is thus

http://www.treknation.com/episodes/tng/season5/Captain's%20Log:%20We%20are%20transporting%20a%20g roup%20of%20Ullians,%20a%20race%20of%20psychos.
.shtml

I've got a suspicion that this isn't right somehow...
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Old 09-06-2004, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Farallon: (triumphantly) YES! I've done it! You all thought that I was mad, but now I've shown you! Look at my creation! It's not alive! IT'S NOT ALIVE! HA-HA!
Excellent, Marc! And congrats on 3 years!

Quote:
Soren: Commander, tell me about your sexual organs.
Riker: My WHAT?
I have a great mental picture of this scene. Nice one, Wade.
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Old 09-06-2004, 01:19 PM
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Save yourselves! PHP will destroy you! You must take fire to it! Do not let it consume you!
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Old 09-06-2004, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCMoll
The link to the TrekNation guide page on "Violations" is thus

http://www.treknation.com/episodes/tng/season5/Captain's%20Log:%20We%20are%20transporting%20a%20g roup%20of%20Ullians,%20a%20race%20of%20psychos.
.shtml

I've got a suspicion that this isn't right somehow...
Hm, that should have been fixed. I forgot a series of lines in the php code, and as a result the first three lines of the fiver got eaten and used in place of the proper code. I fixed the problem, or so I thought... I'll see what's going on. (Eh, first time using php... could have been worse. )
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Old 09-06-2004, 04:36 PM
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*wonders why there are almost no quotes in this thread yet*

WOW :shock: THREE FIVERS! 8) Cool And it would have to be on a day when I've been REALLY busy so I haven't had time to read them :wink:

I've just read the first one and I have two things to say.

Quote:
Worf: I see your ten and raise you another hundred.
La Forge: You're bluffing. The chances of your cards being that good are even worse than the chances we'd ever agree to serve on another ship beside the Enterprise-D.
Crusher: And that's about as likely to happen as me ever becoming a blonde.
Riker: Or me ever shaving off my beard.
Worf: Would the three of you care to make a small side bet on any of that?
Riker: You're on.
LMAO :mrgreen:

Quote:
La Forge: If the exocomp leaves the tube in the next sixty seconds, we'll know for sure that Number Five is alive.
Farallon: I only built three exocomps, Commander. Where do you get the number fi--
La Forge: It's just a figure of speech, Doctor. Drop by on movie night later this week and I'll explain.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAA! XD

Kick ass Short Circuit reference :wink: I love that film! Nice one Mark!

Now, to read the others :mrgreen:
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Old 09-06-2004, 04:52 PM
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OK, read the 2nd one. My thoughts...

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Quote:
Data: I don't get memory. The only way I'd forget anything at all would be if someone removed my memory engrams.
Geordi: Unfortunately, human memory doesn't work like that. Commander Riker, for example, can still remember things even with no brain at all.
So true :wink:

Quote:
Inad: We are compiling a list of races' memories to put in our Great Library in Ullandria.
Picard: How very interesting! What a noble and laudable goal you have established.
Tarmin: Would you like your sociological and anthropological distinctiveness added to our own?
Picard: Get off my ship.
:lol: :mrgreen:

Quote:
Crusher: Deanna's unconscious.
Picard: Oh, is that why she's lying there unmoving?
Crusher: Shuddup.
Quote:
Picard: We think you may be responsible for the unexplained comas.
Tarmin: Oh I see, blame the strange new aliens you have on board this week. How original.
Picard: Hey, we don't always do that. Sometimes we blame things on random pseudo-scientific phemonena.
Haaaaahahahaha!

So, I quoted almost all the fiver :wink: That was a good'n :mrgreen:

*goes to third fiver*
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Old 09-06-2004, 05:06 PM
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Ok, read the last one. Yes I will be doing a large post full of quotes again for the third time in a row. I'm my defence, you asked for it posting 3 great new fivers in one day. You should know better :wink:

Quote:
La Forge: Got the bungee cord all hooked up Commander, you're ready to go.
Riker: Geordi, do you have a... a BEARD?
La Forge: Relax, Commander -- I'm just borrowing a page from Lieutenant Commander Argyle.
Riker: Who?
La Forge: One of our here today, gone tomorrow chengs.
Riker: I remember Argyle from such episodes as "Where No Man Has Gone Before" and "Datalore." Anyways, there can only be one bearded officer on the Enterprise at a time. Regs.
La Forge: So if you were to be, I dunno, killed, when your shuttle's engine wanked out, I could grow my beard.
Riker: That's exactly what I'm saying.
La Forge: Have a nice flight, Commander. (cackling evilly)
Love it :wink: Beards...why do they exist :wink:

Quote:
Data: Sob....
Worf: What is wrong, Commander?
Data: I do not have any lines in this episode. I am useless. Useless: unneeded, ineffectual, wasted. Wasted: spoiled, shattered....
Worf: If you were any other man I would kill you where you stand!
:lol:
Quote:
Worf: Here is the crew manifest, Commander. Same number of redshirts as before.
Riker: Fine-whatever-get-out.
Worf: Did you not hear me Commander? The same number of redshirts! The episode is almost over!
Riker: I guess it's too late to do anything about it. Let's beam down.
Nice one also Wade :mrgreen: Ok...no more. All laughed out for a bit :wink:
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  #18  
Old 09-06-2004, 05:23 PM
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Default Re: September 5: 5MNG 3rd Anniversary

H'ray! Happy Three, 5MNG!

Choice bits ...

from "Quality of Life"
Quote:
La Forge: According to this scanner image, the exocomp seems to have formed several new blocks of heuristic pathways.
Farallon: I've seen it happen before on other units. Their circuits sometimes become randomly corrupted and they refuse to do any more work.
Data: One of these blocks is particularly intriguing. It appears to contain the text of a grievance complaining about unfair labour practices.
Farallon: I've seen that happen too. Once a unit is this badly broken, its tool replicator refuses to create anything except miniature picket signs.
from "Violations"
Quote:
Data: I don't get memory. The only way I'd forget anything at all would be if someone removed my memory engrams.
Geordi: Unfortunately, human memory doesn't work like that. Commander Riker, for example, can still remember things even with no brain at all.
----------------------------
Doctor's Log: Turns out Riker was actually in a coma, which, granted, isn't that much of a change.
from "The Outcast"
Quote:
La Forge: Got the bungee cord all hooked up Commander, you're ready to go.
Riker: Geordi, do you have a... a BEARD?
La Forge: Relax, Commander -- I'm just borrowing a page from Lieutenant Commander Argyle.
Riker: Who?
La Forge: One of our here today, gone tomorrow chengs.
Riker: I remember Argyle from such episodes as "Where No Man Has Gone Before" and "Datalore." Anyways, there can only be one bearded officer on the Enterprise at a time. Regs.
La Forge: So if you were to be, I dunno, killed, when your shuttle's engine wanked out, I could grow my beard.
Riker: That's exactly what I'm saying.
La Forge: Have a nice flight, Commander. (cackling evilly)
Nice going, all of yez.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kira
... Break out the party favors, the Troi-shaped cake, a surly Klingon, and Will Riker's trombone ...
Er, could we just break his trombone, or perhaps fill it with concrete instead? It must have sounded like a good idea, but every time I heard Frakes' playing, I knew exactly what the jazzman on the holodeck meant when he told Riker "Don't quit the day job."
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Old 09-06-2004, 09:13 PM
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Quote:
Captain's Log: We have arrived at Tyrus VIIA to evaluate an experimental particle fountain being developed to extract minerals from a planetary surface and lift them into orbit. Since the minerals are then to be sold to buyers on the surface and shipped back down on freighters, Starfleet has expressed some skepticism about the economic rationale for this project.

...
Farallon: I've seen it happen before on other units. Their circuits sometimes become randomly corrupted and they refuse to do any more work.
Data: One of these blocks is particularly intriguing. It appears to contain the text of a grievance complaining about unfair labour practices.
Farallon: I've seen that happen too. Once a unit is this badly broken, its tool replicator refuses to create anything except miniature picket signs.

...
Data: No, I am wondering how the toaster is supposed to feel about this insult.
Crusher: Data, toasters don't have feelings.
Data: Would you be offended if I requested a second opinion from Captain Louvois?
Heehee :mrgreen:

Quote:
La Forge: If the exocomp leaves the tube in the next sixty seconds, we'll know for sure that Number Five is alive.
Also particularly liked the score-keeping scene.




Quote:
Captain's Log: We are transporting a group of Ullians, a race of psychos.
Data: That's psychics, sir.
Picard: Don't interrupt.
Data: I don't get memory. The only way I'd forget anything at all would be if someone removed my memory engrams.
Geordi: Unfortunately, human memory doesn't work like that. Commander Riker, for example, can still remember things even with no brain at all.

Inad: We are compiling a list of races' memories to put in our Great Library in Ullandria.
Picard: How very interesting! What a noble and laudable goal you have established.
Tarmin: Would you like your sociological and anthropological distinctiveness added to our own?
Picard: Get off my ship.
Heheheh!

Quote:
Jev: What? It's not like I mind-raped Deanna and left her in a coma.
Riker: I wasn't suggesting --
Jev: Besides, she had it coming.
Heheheh. Very nice blurb too.




Quote:
Riker: I remember Argyle from such episodes as "Where No Man Has Gone Before" and "Datalore."
Heh, nice twist.

Quote:
Riker: And Geordi will be the bearded one on the Enterprise? NO!
Another good fiver.
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Old 09-07-2004, 12:07 AM
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This is what procrastination gets me. Everyone else has aready quoted the best bits.

Quote:
Farallon: This test conclusively proved that the exocomp was too dumb to realize that it was in danger.
Data: I have a competing hypothesis. Perhaps the exocomp was too smart to be fooled into thinking that it was in danger.
Farallon: I strongly disagree! Your theory goes against the fundamental principle on which I based the entire exocomp design!
Picard: What fundamental principle?
Farallon: That as long as you look good, you don't need brains to be successful in life.
That explains Hollywood.

Quote:
Soren: Commander, tell me about your sexual organs.
Riker: My WHAT?
Soren: In my species, we don't have any specialized organs like your genders do.
Riker: So you don't have a basis for comparison?
Soren: That would be correct.
Riker: Well, let me tell you....
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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