The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > News

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-13-2006, 06:15 AM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default September 13 (5MOC: Five-Minute "The Heartbreak")

Here's something I've waited way too long to publish. Back when I first tried OC fivers, the second episode I did was "The Heartbreak," as a birthday present for the person who got me to watch the show (my girlfriend at the time). Things didn't work out with her and so the fiver had certain associations; as a result, I never got around to posting it here. But the time has come, because darn it, it's funny. Here's Five-Minute "The Heartbreak."

__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-13-2006, 03:21 PM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Funny stuff, but for whatever reason, I was getting the most chuckles out of the running "bacon" gag.
Quote:
Kirsten: Where?
Sandy: Heheheheh. Still fun.
Oh, and...
Quote:
Sandy: Don't worry, Marissa. Ryan'll change his mind eventually. See, love is like a walrus that --
Don't ask me to explain. It just is.
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-13-2006, 03:39 PM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default

The bacon thing is actually a reference to a running gag in TWOP's OC recaps, which itself was based on... well, Kirsten liking bacon.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-13-2006, 06:09 PM
Derek's Avatar
Derek Derek is offline
Dean of misderektion
Senior Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sector 001
Posts: 1,106
Default

Quote:
Seth: Nice how Dr. Kim lifted your suspension, isn't it?
Ryan: Yeah. I'm glad she finally understood that it's okay to break into school files and your girlfriend's locker as long as your suspicions turn out to be right.
Yeah, funny how that works in real life as well.
__________________
"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?"
"I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-14-2006, 05:23 AM
Mighty Jalapeno's Avatar
Mighty Jalapeno Mighty Jalapeno is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Kamloops, BC, Canada, Mars
Posts: 41
Default

Yay, another TwoP fan!
__________________
I like to put clever or meaningful quotes in my signature so that other people will know that I know what clever or meaningful quotes are.

~

I'm a comedian and a poet, so if I say something and you don't laugh... then it was a poem.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-14-2006, 10:22 AM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default

...TWoP fan. Yes. Yes, that's me.

Let me put it this way. I find TWoP a very useful resource, and I like some of the people who work there, such as Keckler. I often get a kick out of the recaps and even make the occasional reference, like this one or the Weight of the World Window ref in Five-Minute "Damage." But I hate everything TWoP stands for. They've become incredibly successful by appealing to the basher mentality, and boy, has it gone to their heads. Their slogan, "Spare the Snark, Spoil the Networks," sums it up perfectly. That's how important they think they are. (See also "shoutouts.") Most galling of all, people buy it -- Yahoo TV is full of TWoP links now, and Veronica Mars fans cite the TWoP recaps as an example of "critical acclaim."

And they KILLED MY FATHER.

Anyway... this fiver was originally written in '04. I was a real fan of TWoP back then; a lot has changed since. I still go there sometimes and I may keep making references, but I would definitely not call myself a fan anymore.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-14-2006, 03:53 PM
Mighty Jalapeno's Avatar
Mighty Jalapeno Mighty Jalapeno is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Kamloops, BC, Canada, Mars
Posts: 41
Default

So "Spare the Snark, Spoil the Site" is your credo now?

Yes, TWoP has realized that television shows, writers and producers now read TWoP in order to figure out where to take things. Veronica's death in Prison Break was a result of the unstoppable hate the forums had for her... she was supposed to live for a week with Terrence.

Mostly, I just read the amusing recaps, hang out in the Hizzy (House General Gabbery) and vote on the Tubeys. I've never seen Veronica Mars, I've never used Yahoo, so I don't know much of what you speak of... mostly I complain that they STOPPED recapping Rescue Me, and STARTED recapping god-damned Project Runway.

They killed my gerbil.
__________________
I like to put clever or meaningful quotes in my signature so that other people will know that I know what clever or meaningful quotes are.

~

I'm a comedian and a poet, so if I say something and you don't laugh... then it was a poem.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-15-2006, 06:14 PM
Gatac's Avatar
Gatac Gatac is offline
Man in the iron mask
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Magdeburg, Germany
Posts: 667
Send a message via ICQ to Gatac Send a message via AIM to Gatac
Default

They killed Veronica? One more reason to...be mildly indifferent about them, I guess. I mean, dude, killing off characters to appease the shouting masses as Twop strikes me as a supremely bad idea, but it's not like it was a big loss, either...

Gatac
__________________
Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'?
Justin: It's kind of a limited skill.
Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges.
- d02 Quotes
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-15-2006, 08:35 PM
Mighty Jalapeno's Avatar
Mighty Jalapeno Mighty Jalapeno is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Kamloops, BC, Canada, Mars
Posts: 41
Default

It wasn't so much to appease them, but rather them realizing that "Wow, a significant percentage of the audience hates her.... know what we could do to get a big cheer, and move the plot up a few episodes?" I'm glad that television producers are now actually thinking about their audience.
__________________
I like to put clever or meaningful quotes in my signature so that other people will know that I know what clever or meaningful quotes are.

~

I'm a comedian and a poet, so if I say something and you don't laugh... then it was a poem.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-15-2006, 09:40 PM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default

But that's just it: TWoP is not their audience. It's a particular group of people who come to a particular forum to talk about how much better they are than the show's writers. Sucking up to TWoP is a recipe for getting burned. J. J. Abrams found that out, but apparently other producers aren't going to learn from his experience, so they'll have to find out for themselves.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 09-15-2006, 09:51 PM
Mighty Jalapeno's Avatar
Mighty Jalapeno Mighty Jalapeno is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Kamloops, BC, Canada, Mars
Posts: 41
Default

TWOP, and it's 1.2 million readers, is a fairly good slice of their audience. Most of them don't talk about how much better they are than the shows writers, but let's face it, it's television.... you can't please everyone. Mostly on the Hizzy we talk about how much we adore the writers who are capable of creating more than one dimensional characters.

Yes, TWOP, and a lot of the regs, have gotten too big for their diapers, but they know that they do have clout, even if it's mis-guided... sort of like the government.

What did JJ Abrams do that got him burned? He only did Alias, Lost, and Felicity, and I've never seen an episode of any of those.
__________________
I like to put clever or meaningful quotes in my signature so that other people will know that I know what clever or meaningful quotes are.

~

I'm a comedian and a poet, so if I say something and you don't laugh... then it was a poem.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 09-16-2006, 02:41 AM
Scooter's Avatar
Scooter Scooter is offline
Doctoral candidate
Staff
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Earth, again
Posts: 831
Send a message via AIM to Scooter
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mighty Jalapeno View Post
He only did Alias, Lost, and Felicity.
"Only"?
. . .
__________________
An updated list of all my online writing can be found here. Check it out.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-16-2006, 02:48 AM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default

It's possible I'm confusing Abrams with the West Wing guy again.
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 09-16-2006, 10:09 AM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

Uh? I don't recall Sorkin doing anything of that kind, Zeke.
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 09-16-2006, 10:58 AM
Zeke's Avatar
Zeke Zeke is offline
The lens that flares in the night
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 3,396
Send a message via ICQ to Zeke Send a message via AIM to Zeke Send a message via Yahoo to Zeke
Default

I'm sure Kira would have been happy to tell the story, but in her absence, Google will have to do. This post looks pretty thorough:

http://bitchkittie.blogspot.com/2006...rkin-west.html
__________________
FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-16-2006, 10:03 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

[Spock]Fascinating.[/Spock]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 10-14-2006, 05:19 AM
JVTruman JVTruman is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 28
Default

Personally, I read some of the TWoP stuff occasionally, but there's something I've noticed. Much of the time, reading them is somehow draining; it's kind of entertaning reading it, but you feel somehow emptier at the end than at the beginning. Has anyone else experienced this? It probably has something to do with how well the reader's and author's opinions correlate.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 10-14-2006, 08:18 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Nate (raises hand sheepishly): Uh, what is TWOP?
Professor Zeke: What a silly question! Now put this on and go sit in the corner!
Nate (puts on dunce cap and slumps onto the stool): Ah, man! (Ahem) One hundred dilithium crystals on the wall, one hundred dilithium crystals. If Scotty should happen to burn one of those up, ninety-nine dilithium crystals on the wall...
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 10-14-2006, 08:42 AM
Gatac's Avatar
Gatac Gatac is offline
Man in the iron mask
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Magdeburg, Germany
Posts: 667
Send a message via ICQ to Gatac Send a message via AIM to Gatac
Default

*fast forward to mid-terms...*

Question 13-1: Who or what is TWOP ?

A) Terrance Willinger Ornue-Prinz, heir to the Ornue-Prinz Cookie empire
B) Television WithOut Pity, (in)famous TV review website
C) Tennessee's Wild Ornithologist Photographers, association of "artists" concerned with nude birdwatchers

Nate: *Pst! What's 13-1?*
Gatac: *B, it's totally B!*
Nate: *You are totally B!*
PHJ: *snicker*
Professor Zeke: Who was that? PHJ, was that you?
PHJ: No, Sir! Of course not, Sir!
Professor Zeke: Gatac?
Gatac: I have no sense of humor, Sir.
Professor Zeke: True enough...Nate? Hm...I'm sure we both know what that means.
Nate: I brought my own hat, Sir.

(It's, of course, Television without Pity, a review site that tends to...polarize.)

Gatac
__________________
Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'?
Justin: It's kind of a limited skill.
Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges.
- d02 Quotes
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 10-14-2006, 12:04 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Okay, Television Without Pity I've heard of. Hey, there are A LOT of netronyms (who says I can't invent a word?) I don't know.

I think TWOP is infamous in the Three Amigos sense. It's so famous it's INFAMOUS!

I was surprised at my initial reaction that I'd been fived. I'm sure that as long as it's not insulting the rest of you would be flattered by the idea that you've achieved the status of comedic cult icon. Hey, that's what Zeke's achieved, at least in my book: comedic cult icon. He's up there with Derek Miller (Kid Radd) and Jim Wright (Delta Blues). For me, being fived brought out odd feelings. There was pride, there was amusement, but there was also ... violation? Does this sound insane to anyone else?

PS: "You are totally B"? My comeback instinct would suggest that "You're a B!" is funnier. "Totally B" is a little too valley girl-esque for me. Please put down the phaser bazookas (go Insurrection!)
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:06 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.