August 9

[Zeke]

As promised, it's TJI #41: "Executive producer of Trek becomes elected position." This Just In's biggest scoop to date begins here....

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Five-Minute Stargate webmaster Nan "Akili" "The Ensign" "T. M. R. Nn'khiy" "Winterbourne," currently cohabiting with geological formation Sa'ar Chasm, has a speaker credit so long we have no room for her comment

Now is the time on Sprockets when I KILL YOU!

[Tate]

For comments on the upcoming election, This Just In went straight to the source: Pericles, the ancient Athenian statesman often considered the founder of democracy. Recently cloned by Boston firm Clones 'R' Us, Mr. Pericles had strong, powerful words on the subject, as befits a man of his station: "πoυ ειμι; τις εστε; τις βασιλευς υμων εστιν; εαν oυ λεγητε, υμας παντας απoκτενω!"
This reporter thanked Mr. Pericles and his creators, and then sought more useful commentary.

:lol:

[Kira]

Five-Minute Stargate webmaster Nan "Akili" "The Ensign" "T. M. R. Nn'khiy" "Winterbourne," currently cohabiting with geological formation Sa'ar Chasm

Hmmmmmm.... :::raises eyebrow:::

Given how sci-fi shows are treated these days, though, it's a miracle Enterprise was renewed at all. Good sci-fi always gets lousy ratings

What's really sad is that you can replace "sci-fi" with "non-reality TV" and "Enterprise" with any number of well-acted, well-scripted shows and the statement is still true.

[mudshark]

I've been running Trek since Gene Roddenberry was killed by those mysterious assassins from the future in a failed attempt to assassinate JFK.

Heh.

"It's about time," observed rabid reviewer Richard Whettestone. "Now maybe Berman and Braga will finally be replaced with people who know what they're doing. Or with people who have no idea what they're doing. Or with lepers. Anyone would be better than the Evil Bs. Now to go read some books and then crank-call the authors."

Heh-h-h-h heh heh. :twisted:

"Anyone else thinking of that one Sluggy strip about elections?" asked Trek BBS moderator Lindley. "No? Just me? Your loss."

Double nice touch!

Coming Attractions?

:snicker: :twisted:

Also liked Mr. Pericles' comment.

[Alexia]

"As a result, we've spent months examining the fans' opinions on Star Trek. We lurked at message boards, sent spies to conventions... we even went so far as to open our mail."

LOL :lol: Nice one Zeke!

[Standback]

Very nice, Zeke! Can't wait to see the next ones!

Can I run for Executive Producer too? Huh? Can I? Can I, can I please? Pleeeeeeease?

You're going to say no, aren't you?

[Derek]

"Man, I'm gonna have to send back all those 'Congratulations on Your Promotion' cards! And the extra pip!"

Heh.

Great TJI, Zeke. Looking forward to the future ones.

[sweetclover]

What's the Greek mean? Or is it one of those things where the joke is spoiled if you have to explain it?

Edit: I have a title :shock: I really should come here more often...

[Derek]

Originally Posted by sweetclover

What's the Greek mean?

The translation is actually on the page, otherwise it would've all been Greek to me as well.

[sweetclover]

Yay for not scrolling down far enough. :roll:

[Draknek]

Heheh, "some other show".

I await #42.

[NAHTMMM]

None were available for comment at press time (especially Mr. Carter, who has not been seen since March 2002), but they will undoubtedly come forward when it is known whether they are eligible to run (except Mr. Carter, who is likely dead and thus ineligible).

Heheheh.

Now maybe Berman and Braga will finally be replaced with people who know what they're doing. Or with people who have no idea what they're doing. Or with lepers. Anyone would be better than the Evil Bs.

:mrgreen: Good job!

Five-Minute Stargate webmaster Nan "Akili" "The Ensign" "T. M. R. Nn'khiy" "Winterbourne," currently cohabiting with geological formation Sa'ar Chasm, has a speaker credit so long we have no room for her comment

Bwahahaha!

[admiral sab]

But if they win, they're back where they started, forced to watch Trek (because of those masked men holding guns to their heads)

ahhh so true!

oh and where IS Mr. Carter? :lol: :?:

[Hotaru]

I can't wait to see who is elected! I sure hope it doesn't take forever between updates. I may have to seek out other sources :wink: I wonder if the Onion has any information...

[Nic Corelli]

"As a result, we've spent months examining the fans' opinions on Star Trek. We lurked at message boards, sent spies to conventions... we even went so far as to open our mail."

Heheheh. Funny stuff! :mrgreen:

[Anonymous]

Bravo, Zeke! It's a masterpiece!

Don't expect to see anything more of me for a few days at the very least - we had a new cable box installed, so the house network has to be set up all over again, PLUS my computer has destabilized to the point where I'm going to have to format it (again). Stupid Bill Gates.

*Shakes Fist*

[Xeroc]

Originally Posted by Derek

The translation is actually on the page, otherwise it would've all been Greek to me as well.

Hmmmm...

According to my Translation services this is actually what the greek should look like:

"Πού είναι ι; Ποιοι είναι εσείς; Ποιος είναι ο βασιλιάς σας; Εάν δεν με λέτε, θα σας σκοτώσω!"

Zeke's text:

"πoυ ειμι; τις εστε; τις βασιλευς υμων εστιν; εαν oυ λεγητε, υμας παντας απoκτενω!"

is close but not exactly correct.

Not like it really matters or anything.

Also, Zeke - it's hilarious! I can't wait for the next issue!

I especially liked:

Originally Posted by TJI

"As a result, we've spent months examining the fans' opinions on Star Trek. We lurked at message boards, sent spies to conventions... we even went so far as to open our mail."

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Xeroc

Zeke's text is close but not exactly correct.

No, you're close but not exactly correct. Pericles isn't speaking modern Greek, he's speaking ancient Greek. (The man is from the 5th century B. C., after all....) And I know enough ancient Greek to read Xenophon untranslated, so I'm pretty confident my translation is correct.

[MaverickZer0]

*pained* I can actually read some of the Greek.

None were available for comment at press time (especially Mr. Carter, who has not been seen since March 2002), but they will undoubtedly come forward when it is known whether they are eligible to run (except Mr. Carter, who is likely dead and thus ineligible).

*raises eyebrow* I'm sure no one any of us know could possibly know anything about that.

Recently cloned by Boston firm Clones 'R' Us

I don't trust those guys anymore.

(...I think I got both....)