Fiver Solicitation

[Wowbagger]

Greetings, 5MN.

As is my tradition, I have been trying to come up with a good April Fool's Day joke for my Excelsior audio drama (linked in sig). I decided that this year we are going to "five" some of our own previous episodes, and then we are going to have our cast record the fivers and release them as a parody episode. The basic problem is, I'm not very funny, and my own fivers are good evidence of that. So I struck on an idea: [strikethrough]free labor![/strikethrough] giving others the opportunity to write for the show!

Basically, if any of you are interested in writing some fivers that will be acted out by a real cast (with real sound effects!) and released to a decent-sized audience, find an episode of Excelsior you'd like to five (episode library is here) and write it. Post it here, and I'll swing by on March 1st or so and compile all submissions into a script for the cast to record during that month.

I'd like to get only one fiver per episode, so use the old 5MN system and make sure to "call" your episodes before you start writing.

Of course, "too many fivers" would be a nice problem to have. Much more likely, I'm afraid, is that nobody will want to write a fiver and then the Excelsior fandom will get stuck with some un-funny Wowbagger-penned fiver come April Fool's. Don't let that happen!

Questions/comments/rants post 'em here or PM me. I'll answer them. Soon.

EDIT: Oh, and, yes, of course we will mention FiveMinute.net prominently. If the April Fools episode goes well, hopefully we can drive some decent traffic over here.

[Wowbagger]

Just an observation: according to the forum statistics, that post was the 77,777th post on the 5MForums. I consider that a good omen.

[Nate the Great]

http://www.fiveminute.net/forums/showthread.php?t=1286

Audiofiver projects have failed miserably in the past, but I hope you get lucky.

[Zeke]

That may be so, but Wowbagger has a huge, unfair advantage over those previous audiofiver projects: he's already got a cast with audio experience. So don't let it bother you if this pans out -- he was halfway there already.

I've been meaning to check out Excelsior for ages, despite its in-name-only resemblance to the Star Trek: Excelsior concept which, like Dracula, kept popping back up every time it was supposed to be dead. This is a good motivation to finally do so. I like to do pilots, so Wowbagger, I'm calling "The Valandrian Expedition", which your new viewers guide identifies as the first regular episode (as opposed to "...There You Are", which appears to be your "The Cage"). No promises, but I'll do it if I can.

[Wowbagger]

Insofar as this is a retread of one of your ideas, Nate, sorry about that. Hopefully this project will be a little more successful, because, like the Z said, I've got all the production details in place. Just need some scripts. Feel free to throw one in if you're so inclined.

Zeke, your dibs is acknowledged enthusiastically! I'll cross my fingers that you'll able to find the time for it.

[Nate the Great]

Well, there's a difference between a project here and a project somewhere else, isn't there?

[NAHTMMM]

Hey, that's right, I do have a new laptop with potentially adequate recording capabilities, don't I?

*plots*



Anyway, good luck with your idea, Wowbagger. I think it's a good one.

[Wowbagger]

^ I read this post days ago, and it just now suddenly occurred to me:

If it's a good idea, why not participate? *winning used car salesman smile*

[Zeke]

Yikes. You've been around here too long -- my response lag is rubbing off on you.

[NAHTMMM]

Originally Posted by Wowbagger

^ I read this post days ago, and it just now suddenly occurred to me:

If it's a good idea, why not participate? *winning used car salesman smile*

Unfortunately, my schedule is too erratic and uncertain to promise anything. But we'll see.


[Edit] Looks like I'm doing the next one, "Turns of Events".

[NAHTMMM]

I just read the current draft out loud, without pausing for scene changes, additional sound effects, or comedic timing, and it took six minutes. And that's with one scene left to write. This isn't going to be a fiver, strictly speaking, if you don't mind going a few minutes over the limit. Otherwise there are a few bits I could cut.

I was pleasantly surprised. I figured I'd have my hands full just keeping track of who was talking, but I managed to get a handle on the main parts' names well enough. And when I got to the second episode, the jokes came easily enough that I quickly decided that would be the episode I'd tackle. All in all, it was surprisingly painless. Having a good storyline didn't hurt either.


[edit]I'll try to do one more, "Wildfire".

[Wowbagger]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Yikes. You've been around here too long -- my response lag is rubbing off on you.

...I can't imagine what you're talking about, Zeke. And don't you dare look at the lag time on this post!

And, yeah, NAHT, I'm not in the least worried about actually that five-minute runtime. Looking at the enormous range of runtimes we've had for Excelsior eps (33min to 93min), I've clearly enjoyed the flexibility that comes with an online time slot quite a lot myself! Thanks for giving it a go!

Got your PM, will answer it as soon as I remind myself of what the heck happened back in Season One. :P

EDIT: Come to think of it, if we've got "Valandrian Expedition" through "Wildfire" covered, somebody really ought to do the season finale, "Down the Rabbit Hole." Any more takers?

[NAHTMMM]

Here's what I have at this point:

Turns of Events

Wildfire



Please feel free to correct any terminology, rank, speaker credits, etc. I messed up or was foggy about.

I've tried to keep stage directions and explicit hisses and inflections and such to a minimum. I figure you people know how to execute that stuff better than I do.

[Wowbagger]

I haven't laughed that hard for a while. Great fun. I'm making the necessary speaker credit changes. It will be very interesting converting them into a script. If I want to make any edits, I'll PM you about them, and just generally keep you posted.

Some of these scenes and characters, you just absolutely nailed:

Adow: (over the intercom) I have no idea where they went, sir. Honest. (cheerfully) But I'm pretty sure they're never coming back. (pleading) So, can I pleeeease be Chief Engineer now?

Lorhrok: Mister Hologram, you are under arrest for violating the Prime Directive.
Ensign: You have no right to do that! What if someone had taken the Babelfish away from your planet centuries ago?
Lorhrok: Huh?
Cortez: Or what if the Vulcans had removed the Monolith from Earth's moon before humans uncovered it?
Lorhrok: Are you just making things up?

Sharp: She might be dead, Alcar! Here, pump the captain full of drugs and make sure.
Dovan: Make sure of what?
Sharp: That she lives. Or possibly that she dies. I'm not picky.

Betra-Na: Oh yeah?
Serid-Gee: Yeah!
Betra-Na: (casually) Well, talk to you later.
Serid-Gee: (casually) See you soon.

Hee hee hee hee hee.

And I'll keep checking in 'til March 1st, if anyone else jumps in!

[NAHTMMM]

Glad you liked it all!

Originally Posted by Wowbagger

Lorhrok: Mister Hologram, you are under arrest for violating the Prime Directive.
Ensign: You have no right to do that! What if someone had taken the Babelfish away from your planet centuries ago?
Lorhrok: Huh?
Cortez: Or what if the Vulcans had removed the Monolith from Earth's moon before humans uncovered it?
Lorhrok: Are you just making things up?

Yeah, I was pretty pleased with how that scene turned out. The next line is probably my favorite line out of both fivers, because it looks ridiculously random but is actually a reference to a scene from The Last Starfighter where all three entities are mentioned.

Betra-Na: Oh yeah?
Serid-Gee: Yeah!
Betra-Na: (casually) Well, talk to you later.
Serid-Gee: (casually) See you soon.

This might actually be the scene I was worried most about. The original is a nice, insightful dialogue that refuses to tell the audience which side they're supposed to root for, and I could find nothing better to do with it than reduce most of it to pure scenery-chewing. *sigh* But you like it, or at least the end of it. That's a good sign.

And I'll keep checking in 'til March 1st, if anyone else jumps in!

I might give it a shot, but I don't think I'll be able to do the season finale. My creative juices need recharging, and I have other things I need to do. So I'm definitely not claiming it.


I've got KatyJane listening to the episodes now. She's enjoyed it so far as well.

[Wowbagger]

Originally Posted by NAHTMMM

Yeah, I was pretty pleased with how that scene turned out. The next line is probably my favorite line out of both fivers, because it looks ridiculously random but is actually a reference to a scene from The Last Starfighter where all three entities are mentioned.

Aha! I knew I'd heard of those before, but could not place them for the life of me.

This might actually be the scene I was worried most about. The original is a nice, insightful dialogue that refuses to tell the audience which side they're supposed to root for, and I could find nothing better to do with it than reduce most of it to pure scenery-chewing. *sigh* But you like it, or at least the end of it. That's a good sign.

That's the kindest thing anyone's ever said about that scene. Now, I agree with it, not just because it's a nice thing to hear but because it's exactly what I was trying to do with the scene... but more than one commentator said something to the effect of, "Wow, love the action in this episode, great Yubari scene, but why all the blah blah on the Vigilance?" It is among the most criticized scenes we ever made -- which isn't saying all that much, but still. So, for how the scene is perceived, you nailed it.

I've got KatyJane listening to the episodes now. She's enjoyed it so far as well.

Superlative. Glad to hear it!

And March 1st is just around the corner!

[Wowbagger]

Zeke! I know you said it was a longshot that you'd be able to do it, but before I start script-ifying and getting recording going (before the end of this week, I hope), figured I'd check back. Got anything for "The Valandrian Expedition"?

[Zeke]

Actually, yeah, I should be able to do it. Save mine for last, but I'll send it as soon as I can.

[Wowbagger]

Sweet! I'll wait for you.

[Wowbagger]

QUERY: How the heck should I pronounce "NAHTMMM" in the credits?