September 5: 5MNG 3rd Anniversary

[PointyHairedJedi]

Originally Posted by Alexia

Beards...why do they exist :wink:

"Bridesmaid, like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to! WOOF!"

I was slightly dissappointed at the lack of Batteries Not Included references in "the Quality of Life" (and a few Yes, Minster gags would have been nice too, but too much to hope for really).

All very funny stuff.

[Nic Corelli]

Favourite bits from "The Quality of Life"

La Forge: Doctor, you've already got your hands full with the particle fountain. You shouldn't be developing another type of experimental technology at the same time -- no matter how adorable this robot looks.
Farallon: I'm just covering all my bases. If the exocomps don't prove suitable for engineering applications, I figure I can always market them as really nifty children's toys.

Data: One of these blocks is particularly intriguing. It appears to contain the text of a grievance complaining about unfair labour practices.
Farallon: I've seen that happen too. Once a unit is this badly broken, its tool replicator refuses to create anything except miniature picket signs.

*tries to visualize this... breaks into laughter* :mrgreen:

Data: I believe the exocomps are alive. They refuse to work in hazardous environments because they understand the concept of self-preservation.
Farallon: That's absurd! They're nothing more than tools!
Picard: Is there a way we could test Mr. Data's hypothesis?
La Forge: Yes, sir. We could see how an exocomp reacts when its survival is threatened.
Farallon: That's easy to arrange. Just let me get my hands on one of those malfunctioning little twerps and I'll....
La Forge: I was thinking more along the lines of a simulated threat.

Farallon: (triumphantly) YES! I've done it! You all thought that I was mad, but now I've shown you! Look at my creation! It's not alive! IT'S NOT ALIVE! HA-HA!

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: Totally crazy!

Farallon: I've decided to found an institute that will help the exocomps grow and learn. I think I'll call it, "Professor Xaviera Farallon's School for Gifted Machines."
Picard: Catchy name.

Very. Heeheehee.

[Nic Corelli]

Favourite bits from "Violations", now, :mrgreen:

Data: I don't get memory. The only way I'd forget anything at all would be if someone removed my memory engrams.
Geordi: Unfortunately, human memory doesn't work like that. Commander Riker, for example, can still remember things even with no brain at all.

ROFL :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Inad: We are compiling a list of races' memories to put in our Great Library in Ullandria.
Picard: How very interesting! What a noble and laudable goal you have established.
Tarmin: Would you like your sociological and anthropological distinctiveness added to our own?
Picard: Get off my ship.

*Howls like crazy at 2 a.m.* Derek, you might expect a visit from my poor neighbours. :P

Picard: (over the comm) Riker, this is the Voice of God. Thou shalt shave thy head, so thou wilt be as bald as thy captain. Do you understand?
Riker:
Picard: Riker! Do you understand?
Riker:
Picard: Drat. He's already asleep. Worf, go wake him up so we can do it right.

Picard: So since we can't find out why people are going into comas, we've decided to execute all of you.
Jev: Woah, wait, can't we prove our innocence?
Picard: Well, I don't know. Worf's been sharpening his knives all morning.
Jev: Please? Can't I probe Counselor Troi first?
Picard: Er, what do you mean by probe?
Jev: The normal meaning.

Tarmin: Sorry about Jev. I thought he was just addicted to porn.
Picard: It's okay. No harm done.
Troi: TWITCH.
Riker: TWITCH.
Crusher: TWITCH.

Hilarious!


Also...

Inad: We are compiling a list of races' memories to put in our Great Library in Ullandria.

Founded by Ullander the Great, no doubt.


It was a horrible episode, but at least it gave us a brilliant fiver!

[Nic Corelli]

Annnnnnd... The Outcast

Captain's Log: We've been called to look for a missing shuttlecraft by the J'naii. Like the Federation flagship has nothing better to do than to look for a missing shuttlecraft.

Picard: On screen, Mr. Data.
J'naii: On screen? Why didn't WE think of that?
Worf: There is nothing out there.
Troi: I sense there is something missing.
Picard: Does anyone else have something to add?
La Forge: (over the comm) I'm giving up on shaving, Captain.
Riker: Maybe we could, um, scan for it?
Picard: Hmm....

Now this was simply hysterical,

Soren: Oh no! The shuttle's engine wanked out! We'll be killed!
Riker: And Geordi will be the bearded one on the Enterprise? NO!
(Riker pulls off fancy flying move)
Soren: Oh Will, my burly beardy hero....
Riker: Oh Soren, my anatomically neutral sheet warmer....

Geez, Riker would go for almost anything. Female, both female and male, neither... :twisted:

La Forge: So if you were to be, I dunno, killed, when your shuttle's engine wanked out, I could grow my beard.
Riker: That's exactly what I'm saying.
La Forge: Have a nice flight, Commander. (cackling evilly)

Very funny!


Man, I love fivers.